Post # 1
Our wedding is coming up in October 5th and the planning is going well so far. There are some challenges because of my health but we are keeping it small to keep the stress level down. I have Multiple Sclerosis that I manage pretty well. I am fit and in shape, able to do a lot of power lifting at the gym and that’s been very helpful.
A few weeks ago I had a horrible allergic reaction to chamomile tea which landed me in the ER and on steroids for about a week. Aside from a little hyperpigmentation, I am much better.
Yesterday I was diagnosed with Lymes Disease. I know when and where I contracted it. I was living in the Berkeley hills for three years before I moved up to Portland and I think I was bitten by a tick then since I did a lot of train running at the time and like an idiot didn’t protect myself at all.
After sleeping with the news I’m wondering if we should postpone the wedding. It is treatable but it will take a moderate amount to a lot of money – the cost is right now unknown (insurance may not cover the type of treatment my doctor recommends). Though our wedding and reception will be <$5,000 for 35 people, the practical side of me feels ever dime should be spent on my health.
Its depressing to think that my deposits will go down the drain and I will have to start the planning process all over again for a wedding at an unknown date. We don’t live together and it’s important to me that we are married before we do (non religious reasons) so that would drag on as well.
Advice or suggestions would be appreciated, but I really need to vent right now. Thanks for hearing my whine – I know people in this world have much larger problems.
Post # 3
I wouldn’t cancel.
Lymes is going to be dificult to treat at this stage – sounds like you’ve had it for a while – and will be expensive no matter what. I’m sure you know what to expect from it by now, but the truth is it will most likely come and go, and you can’t predict whether you’ll feel OK or not at a later time.
Your insurance may cover some of it, but it’s unlikely – insurance companies have a history of dismissing Lymes. Sometimes, doctors can lose their liscences for treating it! It’s crazy and unfair.
I would just keep on keeping on and don’t let the Lymes get in the way of your life. Ask your friends and family for as much support as you can, and cut some things out of your wedding to make it more financially available.
I have a friend with Lymes – he tries his hardest to not let it get in the way of him living his life. Sometimes he has to take a break, but usually he does the coolest, craziest things!
Post # 4
I wouldn’t postpone it but I would do some MAJOR cuts. What do yo have planned for 35 ppl? Maybe instead of a fulll dinner you guys could opt for Hors d’œuvres or a cake and punch reception or a champagne and dessert reception, cut out favors or make them yourself (like cookies). Hook up an ipod and play some of your favorite tunes.
Post # 5
Don’t postpone, maybe make some adjustments as Pp have said
Post # 6
@CARA1978: I think you answered your own question – your health needs to come first. Hopefully insurance covers it and hopefully there are no surprises, but you just never know. I think your energy and funds need to be fully allocated to your health because without that, you have nothing. It sounds like it could be helpful for your FI to live with you in case you need him during treatment, so it’s too bad that part will have to be put on hold (unless you’d consider it due to the circumstances – you’re obviously still getting married, but have more important concerns at the moment).
Post # 7
Thanks everyone! In terms of possible cuts, it will be about 35 in attendance with a buffet meal. The wedding will be at 5:30 so I doubt cake and punch will work (I can’t eat cake or punch myself, LOL). The meal would be substantial hors d’œuvres (chicken satay, etc) salads, etc buffet style. There will be an open bar for wine and beer, spirits would be on their tab. The photographer would be for 4 hours. No e-shoot. No table flowers, no live music, no DJ, no favors, I’m DIY hair nails and makeup, my dress was $80 on sale at Nordstrom.com. The only thing to cut would be the wedding or guest list.
Post # 8
@CARA1978: I know this is a wedding site, but a wedding is SO trivial compared to your health. I’d really recommend that you don’t take any chances and I would think your FI would agree. It’s better to postpone the wedding until you’re at your best rather than risk losing even more money if you have to cancel at the last minute.
Post # 9
@MrsPanda99: Thank you for your advice. I will definitely talk with FI about this and our options.
@CakeyP I did have it for a while, almost around the time my MS symptoms starting creeping up back in 2008. How I feel physically is not a new thing for me for sure.
Post # 10
@CARA1978: I’m sorry you are going through this. Treating Lymes can go on for years. I’d get married but like PP said, cut back where you can.
Post # 11
@LilRhodyGem: Thanks for the advice and feedback. I will definitely try to cut where we can though we’re pretty barebones as it is…
The other idea would be to have a private ceremony without guests other than two local witnesses (all my family is out of state) to cut out feeding guests.
Post # 12
I have a good friend who has Lymes, she lives out of state now, but when she lived here I used to go help her out when she needed it. One of her favorite things to do when she had episodes was to look back at photo albums of happy days. Have your wedding. Be happy. Look, your going to have med bills no matter what. Cut where you can but don’t cut the things important to you. There are going to be rough days, don’t let any of the great ones slip away. Sorry you are faced with all this.
Post # 13
@tksjewelry: That is a good point. I’ve had to pay thousands out-of-pocket in medical bills over the years for the MS. This isn’t anything new.
Post # 14
Nope, press on. Good luck!
Post # 15
What if you did a pot luck or something similar instead? It sounds like food and drinks cost would be the most expensive part.
I’m not a doctor, and I don’t know very much about MS or Lyme disease, but I would talk to your doctor about this. How will treatment be going at that point? Will you feel up to a wedding?
I think if you can, you should pwoer through it, but your health does need to come first.
Post # 16
Honestly, I would just do the wedding. I was diagnosed with lymes when I was 4. Even with the anti-biotic treatments, you have it for life. It’s a slow disease, so you do have time and since it seems like you have had it for a while a few months will not hurt you. Have your wedding, be happy. Do things.