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Another co-workers invite question-going nuts-long, sorry!

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
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    1.
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    Busy bee
    JoeBeth12    June 12, 2010  

    Dear Hive, so, I really have to invite several co-workers.  Can't really use the rule of thumb about which ones I'm friends with on the outside, because with our hours, there is no outside! I've been in this huge organization for 15 years and we all know each other pretty well.  There's very, very little employee turnover.  Okay.  I'm inviting most of the 'grown-ups' the folks (like me; hate this divide at work) on the professional side of the aisle, plus the bosses.  But there are those on the so-called "general service" side, or more clerical, but great at their jobs and we couldn't live without them.  Anyhow, I have a real schizophrenic relationship with these TWO whom I've worked with very closely for the five or so years; there's a third, but he is new and I wouldn't have to invite him).  Guy and gal, sit across from each other and tell secrets or something ALL day long via IMs; every move everybody makes and they seem particularly interested in my moves (!), which hurts LIKE CRAZY! Some days as I get close to invite time (thee weeks away), I think, yes, I'm definitely inviting these two.  Have to, and don't want to stir up any more bad blood than is necessary. And we do sometimes get on well, you know?  But things turn on a dime here.  Other days, like when they don't invite me to something or leave me out of some personal or funny group e-mail to others in the office, I feel really dejected and think why am I inviting them to my wedding?  You all advised me about a month ago to invite the witch (a grown-up) who supervises them.  I just have to, I know it.  I should also tell you we sit in an open newsroom-type space.  See each other's faces all day every day.  So what should I do?  What would you do? Maybe the answer is staring me in the face, but I just don't see it!

     
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    Bumble bee
    mrsmdphd    April 17, 2009  

    Honestly, I like to avoid conflict, so I think I would invite people just so there's no unpleasantness in the office surrounding my wedding.  They dont' have to come if they don't want to, but at least you'll be the gracious one who extended an olive branch in the form of a wedding invitation.  The only people in my office that I'm not inviting are the new guy and the one person I CAN'T STAND.  Everyone else is invited, even though sometimes I want to throw things at them.  Good luck!

     
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    Buzzing bee
    Miss Chapstick    September 2009  

    I agree with mrsmdphd. I would just invite them to keep the peace. If you work there, and plan to continue working there, especially because you guys are all kind of close, it wouldn't be worth it to be to potentially give them more fuel to dislike you.

    Who knows, they may not come, which would obvs be ideal :)

     
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    Busy bee
    JoeBeth12    June 12, 2010  

    You guys are amazing! Such even-handed and even-headed advice! I really like it as I try to keep a cool head here with all this wedding planning.  I know I glossed over the third fellow, been here a year.. he's sweet, he obviously would be a little hurt not to be invited, but, like everybody, we have a budget and WE HAVE A LIMIT! Is it cool not to invite him (of course, I have NO prob with him whatsoever; he stays to himself and is like a third wheel around these other two).

     
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    Sugar bee
    SanDiegoAli    September 18, 2010   San Diego

    I agree with inviting them.  I work in a very small office and am inviting everyone, but the reality is only 2 (maybe 3) will actually show up.

     

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