Post # 1
So part of me thinks combining now would be useful and the other part is having an anxiety attack just writing a thread about it.
My SO and I have been together 6 years, living together almost the whole time. We have combined some things, for ex we share 2 cars and 1 small car loan. We have a joint checking account that we underuse.
Our current financial situations are different, however they sort of equal out- he doesn’t have a ton of money saved, but he has next to no debt. I have quite a bit of money saved, but my student loans are similar to that amount. So basically, we’re both worth nothing right now (hah!)
It seems combining would be good because we could utilize all the money I have saved as couple, but to even things out he’d be taking on the debt.
This does make me nervous though, because I have never experienced this and we’re not married though that’s the plan.
Should we go for it? Is it super frightening???? thanks bees!
Post # 3
seems like u already have! lol car loans and checking acct
Post # 4
haha yeah in some ways we already have! what’s scary is thinking of basically my bank account being the new ‘the money’
Post # 5
I would wait for marriage. If you’re not 100% certain you’re ok with the final combination of your accounts, don’t do it until you have the legal protection of marriage if that happens to be necessary. Also, I don’t think he’d be taking on your debt- it would still be in your name, right? (depending I guess if it’s student loan or credit card and you were adding him to the card) while he would be getting access to the money. I think your current combination is about as much as unmarried couples should go for- maybe a joint credit card if you are comfortable with that.
Honestly, while it works for some couples, I don’t see a need to 100% combine all accounts. What I would like to do when SO and I get married (currently we have 0 joint accounts of any sort) is to either have our paychecks deposit into a joint account and then transfer a certain percentage to ourselves for personal spending money, or have our paychecks deposit into our own accounts and then transfer the percentage into the joint account for household bills, groceries etc. That way, we each handle our own bills (student loans, personal credit cards, whatever) and don’t itemize each others personal spending, while all of the household bills are paid by both of us in a fair split.
Post # 6
I don’t think it’s frightening! We are waiting til after we get married just so I don’t have to go back and change my names and relationships on everything. I am so looking forward to it becuase it will simplify everything.
Post # 7
@chillinchillin: We merged money, but only after we were engaged and then living together (I moved in like 24 hours after we got engaged).
However, it works very well for us, I had no qualms about it, no hesitations, neither did he. We had tons of money talks, hashed out several different money plans depending on our relationship stage – so it felt like a right move for us.
Post # 8
I wish we could combine now but my FI gets all nervous whenever I bring it up. I think he doesn’t want to let go of that control. He equated me looking at his credit card bill with reading his texts. He’s not hiding anything, he just feels it’s crossing a line. Invading his privacy or something. We do plan to combine eventually, he wants to each keep a private credit card but I’m hoping we can do away with that too eventually. I want to plan and budget, so I want to know where our money goes.