(Closed) Another friend engaged after only a short time with her SO.

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
522 posts
Busy bee

Awww! Your time will come and trust me the extra time that you’ve put in knowing your future husband will come in handy. I know I was still in the honeymoon phase with my boyfriend at 8 months and we were still just learning who the other really was!

I wonder if the proposal was just an effort to keep them together if they go to different grad schools?

Post # 4
Member
511 posts
Busy bee

Sometimes people who have their hopes the highest are the ones who mask their desire to get engaged the most! It’s a pride thing.

Yeah, you have the right to be a tad impatient. But remember – even though they’re engaged, you two are still the commitment champs at this point! Woo!

Post # 6
Member
432 posts
Helper bee

@pokie45:  aww babe i know what you mean theres this girl at my gym and shes been with her boyfriend 1 month and she is already going on about getting engaged and married and he’s the same, and theres me and my friend shes been with her SO 6 years and is waiting and I’ve been with mine over 2 years and we just sit there all glum listening to her go on and on… haha I think it just happens quicker for some couples. You just have to think it will be your turn one day :]

Post # 7
Member
314 posts
Helper bee

@pokie45:  Aww youll get your turn!!! Be happy for her. Usually when people all around you start getting married, the luck is on the way to you. 

Post # 8
Member
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Your time will come, don’t worry!

It can be easy to make assumptions about the relationships people who get engaged very quickly or are together for what seems like too long first, but different things work for different couples, and I think you’ll be happiest if you just avoid comparing yourself to others or trying to figure out what’s going on in their heads!

Post # 9
Member
1113 posts
Bumble bee

Awww. I know the feeling. TRUST ME. We had been dating for about 3 years and people who had only KNOWN each other for 6 months were getting married left and right. It doesn’t seem fair, does it!? But trust me, once you’re engaged…all of that fades away. You couldn’t care less. 🙂

Post # 10
Member
2573 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@GirlWithTheGlassSlippers: 

“Usually when people all around you start getting married, the luck is on the way to you.”

That’s a great way of looking at it! I thought I did a good job surviving engagement season (Thanksgiving – Christmas – NYE), but it’s like I’m getting slammed with other peoples’ engagements more so in the last couple weeks. Every week a new couple has been getting engaged (college and high school classmates), and even randomly yesterday, I saw on some restaurant’s (yes, a restaurant!) FB feed: “Congratulations to the young couple who just got engaged at our restaurant!” Argh. They’re everywehre! I’m also hitting 30 this year (in April), and I feel like a dinosaur. Embarassed I really hope that luck gets to us in April – we have a big trip planned to Montreal. If I don’t get a proposal then, I may actually just break down and cry.

Post # 11
Member
314 posts
Helper bee

@MrsNewDay:  I truly believe in this. I’ve had many people around me start to get married, and now, my SO has started making the moves toward marriage!

I don’t know how long you and your SO have been together, but im sure that once he sees that marriage is what you want, he will eventually start to move toward making it happen. And if he’s worth the wait, im sure you won’t mind. 🙂

Post # 12
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

My gut reaction to someone getting engaged after 8 months of dating is, “Yikes.” Not that it can never work out, just that the odds aren’t in their favour.

Your time will come. It’s not a race. Good thing, too, or I’d be on the all-time loser list – it took us 9 years to get engaged.

Post # 13
Member
11353 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I definitely don’t think it’s a bad idea for couples to date for a longer period of time prior to deciding to marry. I personally believe that a decision regarding marriage is the second most import decision a person will ever make.

However, depending on a couple’s ages and life experiences, as well as some other factors, I also do not think eight months is too short of a period of time to make that decision.

Prior to meeting my DH (much later in life than I ever anticipated), I had several longer-term (i.e. those lasting two years or more) relationships (one in high school, one while in college, and one years after college), and, although I thought I loved each of those guys, none turned out to be the right one for me.

I met my DH online, and we communicated in writing and by phone for a couple of months before meeting in person. However, we became engaged just five months after our first date, and, because we lived three hours away from each other ahd both had very busy schedules, we only saw each other for a short time just two or, occasionally, three times a month, before and after becoming engaged.

What absolutely intrigues me is that I personally believe God had my DH and me on a fast track for marriage for many reasons, not the least of which is that, if I HAD known some of what I would end up facing in my new life as a pastor’s wife and stepmother and as a result of my having to relocate to a very small town in a rural area of another state, I may NOT have decided to marry. 

However, this does NOT mean that I regret my decision; rather, it means that I’m glad  I didn’t know in advance some of the difficulties, stresses, and challenges I would face, because, if I had known, given my highly analytical nature, I very likely may have talked myself out of taking the plunge.  And, if I had, I would have missed out on some tremendous personal and spiritual growth in my own life as well as many wonderful blessings.

Post # 14
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee

Why would you be jealous or sad?

Honestly, people who get engaged without REALLY knowing each other and themselves have a more likely chance of failing in their marriage, especially if they are young.  If anything, I would feel bad for them–they may be happy now, but call me in 10 years, and if they are still thrilled, then I’ll raise a glass.  

I’ve never felt a hint of jealousy for someone who moved in or married within a year.  I will be happy for them, for their sake, but my expectations are frankly, quite low.  I wouldn’t want that for myself.

Post # 15
Member
1541 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@SeaSalt:  cheers to that!

Post # 16
Member
1850 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I waited 3.5 years for FI to propose, and I had that feeling often. Now that I’m on the *other side*, I have a different way of viewing things. I may have waited longer than some of my friends to get engaged but what’s right for them wasn’t necessarily right for us. Our relationship really matured from year 2 to year 3. Honest.

I also encountered a bit of bitterness when I announced the engagement. I wouldn’t want anyone to be bitter over my engagement…I shouldn’t have been a bitter wench for others when they had their moment (even secretly). It’s not a race!

Your FI will propose when it’s right and you’ll be happy to know your relationship has matured and you KNOW you want to be with this man forever. It’ll be wonderful and you’ll forget the pain of waiting. (Though sometimes it comes back for me in waves while on the Bee. Geez!)

It’ll be okay. Keep doing what you’re doing and your man will be your FI. 🙂 And everyone will be happy for you.

The topic ‘Another friend engaged after only a short time with her SO.’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors