(Closed) Another Guy’s View on Mr. Bee’s Plan

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
2894 posts
Sugar bee

I see the point of Mr. Bee’s plan and he does have some good advice. But I think I like this interpretation better. Because Mr. Bee’s plan only really works if you’re attached at the hip. If you are separated by distance, work schedules or are already naturally independent, becoming more independent doesn’t draw a man’s attention to anything. Yeah, it helps you become a happier, more healthy person outside your relationship, but it doesn’t address the needs you have IN your relationship. I like this interpretation more because it addresses how to approach communicating your needs within the relationship. He’s totally right, ignoring something doesn’t fix it. This plan is all about good old fashion communication and compatibility. Mr. Bee’s plan is great, but this is the icing on the cake IMO. πŸ™‚

Post # 4
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I don’t really have anything to add, I just wanted to let you know that I read and appreciate your view :). I share your opinion on a lot of your points. 

Post # 5
Member
1667 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

nothing to add, but thanks for your point of view. Being on the married side of things, I tend to think that your “method” is a little bit more realistic

Post # 6
Member
361 posts
Helper bee

Welcome to the Hive, and I think you’ve worded this very well. Hopefully it gives some of the waiting bees another perspective and does them some good. πŸ™‚

Post # 7
Member
7430 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I love hearing a mans perspective on relationships. IMO often when women seek advice or interpretion of a man’s “thoughts”. from women rather than men, we get a “off” reading, so then it kinda gets us lost, sometimes. Hope to hear more from you.

Post # 8
Member
2906 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

πŸ™‚  I like it.

 

 

Post # 9
Member
1835 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Great post! I like your opinions and the way you voiced them πŸ™‚

Post # 10
Member
2114 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

good points

Post # 11
Member
1543 posts
Bumble bee

Much like @claireos: said, I think Mr. Bee’s plan has it’s merits, for those who are in  relationships in which it will work. Not all of us are in the same living situation, work/school schedules, etc, so for some it may work better than others. If it works for you, great, but my SO is/was completely immune to it. We live together, so it’s hard to spend less time with each other, lol. Not to mention, I was actually already pretty much doing what Mr. Bee’s plan said, anyway before I even stumbled across it on the Bee.

I was taking on more hours at work, exercising to slim down for the beach last summer (shame on me, ’cause I’ve slacked off on it this year! ) I’ve made it a point to have “Girls Night Out” once a month, and it’s been a standing date with my gals for about a year and a half now, and he has not batted an eye. Same as he goes to play golf with his buddies, and I push him out the door, so I can clean house w/o him in the way, lol.

Long story short, we were already independent enough to start with, so he was pretty immune to “The Plan”.   But, as 

@scottsouth: said, communication is the key, and I’ve communicated my ass off, lol.  The bottom line with us is similar to a metaphor several other bees have mentioned: I’m at the door, dressed and ready to go out for a nice dinner, starving, and he’s not even gotten in the shower yet, because he’s just not that hungry at the moment. Oh, he’s looking forward to going out to eat ( getting married), I’m just ready before him, and it’s frustrating. You can’t make someone be hungry before they actually are. 

On the flipside, though, if he’s still “not ready” sometime this year, there will need to be a serious discussion on why this is such an issue, still. Like, why it’s so important to me, and why it doesn’t feel that same way for him. I mean, July 3rd will be our 4 year dating anni, we’re 30 (me) and 34 (him), it’s time, already, lol! 

 

Wow, sorry for the novel, guess I’m word-y tonight, lol. 

Post # 12
Member
2344 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@Wonderwoman217: I think you got it right. ScottSouth’s perspective is spot-on for the couples that are on the same page, but aren’t getting engaged just yet for more practical reasons like money, or simply aren’t communicating well although they are both generally on the same page (or least in the same chapter). ScottSouth also assumes that most men are as mature, thoughtful and comfortable with commitment as he seems to be.

Mr. Bee’s “Plan” is more for over-eager ladies who are with men who, to some degree, aren’t ready to get engaged. Just because a guy is a bit of a commitment-phobe doesn’t mean he isn’t husband material – it just means that both parties need to grow to the place where they are ready to be married. I think Mr. Bee’s suggestions help achieve that by focusing on personal growth and making the most of the relationship where it is at the time are spot-on for those situations!

Post # 13
Member
1909 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@scottsouth: Great post, well said. Your FI is a lucky girl πŸ™‚

Post # 14
Member
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@pink.sequins: That’s me! And I totally am. πŸ™‚

Post # 15
Member
6893 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Just wanted to say: YES. YES YES YES. YES.

Oh, and welcome and thanks for your points. Lol.

Post # 16
Member
1909 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@sarasouth: Sweet! I’m so glad you posted here. Yay for you πŸ™‚

The topic ‘Another Guy’s View on Mr. Bee’s Plan’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors