Post # 1
My parents are paying for the bulk of the wedding. FI and I will probably pay for a casual picnic rehearsal dinner, our rings, his suit, my hair/makeup, my jewelry/shoes, and bridesmaid/groomsmen gifts. While I understand my parents’ desire to “host” and be credited as hosts on the invitations, I really don’t like this wording:
Mr. and Mrs. Firstname Lastname
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Firstname Middlename Lastname Secondlastname
Date, Time, Etc.
BECAUSE: I love my parents, but I consider myself to be, primarily, myself (and, secondarily, their daughter)… and the idea of being married “to” a man seems very backwards. I’d prefer “Firstname Middlename Lastname AND Firstname Middlename Lastname Secondlastname” with all the other pertinent details (including my folks’ names) in the mix somehow. But how?! Everything I’ve tried sounds horribly awkward or just says “families” or “parents,” not “Mr. and Mrs. Soandso.”
Anyone out there want to be an independent woman entering into a marriage of equals (and have a owrding suggestion)? Or am I crazy for getting hung up on these syntax issues?
Post # 3
Here’s what we did, if it helps. It was slightly less than formal because we didn’t include middle names, we gave equal weight to both of our parents, and we didn’t spell honor with a u!
Together with their parents
BrideFatherFirst & BrideMotherFirst Last
GroomFatherFirst & GroomMotherFirst Last
Request the honor of your presence
As they are united in the Holy Sacrament of Marriage
Post # 4
So, there are many circumstances where a mother may not be available to, or may not be able to host a wedding reception for a daughter. The nineteenth century and early-twentieth century etiquette writers assumed that in these situations an aunt or other relative, or a respected friend of the family, would step up and offer to host the wedding; and they provide variations on traditional invitation wording that make it clear the hosts still have the honour of being the hosts, while avoiding suggesting that the bride is Mummy’s little darling. You might consider adopting one of those variants, along the line of:
Mr Thomas Banana and Mrs Jana Banana
request the honour of the presence of
<write-in line for guests’ name so that you don’t need that inner envelope
at the wedding of
Ms Anna Leanna Banana
Mr John James Handsome Guy
son of Mr Henry Guy and Mrs Mary Guy
You can leave off the “Ms” and “Mr” from any and all of the names if you want to be modern and informal (I wouldn’t, but I have never in my life wanted to be modern and informal!) and you can leave off the “son of blah blah” if you want to be traditional and aren’t afraid of hurting the inlaws’ feelings — which I would do, because including it makes your fiance look like he *is* Mummy’s darling while your name is out on its own all independent.