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Personally I think newborns will need to be with their mothers, not that I am a mother so perhaps I'm not the best. If your bridesmaid has a newborn is she really going to be able to be in your wedding? I know that sounds silly but when my god daughter was born her mother wasn't away from her for more than an hour tops (she could leave her but not go away, like leave her with her husband or in her crib) and this is especially important if she is breastfeeding. I don't think you can ask newborns not to come to the ceremony, unless their parents don't come either. Does that make sense. Totally know how you feel with babies crying though.
Newborns are a lot different than kids of any other age. They really should be with their mom, especially if they are breastfeeding. I would keep it at no kids under ten, except the newborns.
I am sure if the newborn starts wailing someone will take the child out of the room/ear shot. Personally, if I was asked to leave my newborn at home I would be very offended.
I have taken 2 newborns to weddings. I stood in the back in case baby started fussing during the ceremony. That way I coud make a quick exit. Just to ease your mind, neither baby cried at either wedding. They slept through most of the receptions too. Hopefully the newborns at your wedding will do the same.
Is there any way for your BM & GM to bring someone with them to watch the babies?
I'm in the “no infants at the ceremony” club. Those little humans are very unpredictable and can break out into blood curdling screams at any time. Even if their caregivers are quick to remove them, there is still a distraction. I won’t go into the whole spiel since I don’t want to scare you but I have been at weddings where newborns were in attendance and there was noise. LOTS of noise. While I’m sure there are plenty of babies who will be as quiet as can be, there are also many who will not and you can’t always rely on the caregiver to be bright enough to remove them.
Our niece was 2 months old when we were married and even she wasn’t invited to the wedding. My SIL arranged for her parents to come out that weekend so that they could watch the baby in their hotel room (we were married at the same resort). My SIL went back and forth between the ballroom and hotel room to feed the baby. It worked out flawlessly.
Newborns especially breastfed ones need to be with mom, no ifs ands or buts about it. just limit the exceptions to your bridal party and keep your original plan. Even if there was a baby sitter at a wedding, if my newborn baby couldnt be with me.. (especially when I was a first time mom) there would be no point in me going.. because I would not be able to sit still.
have your officiant say something at the beginning about taking the babies out of the room if they start crying...common sense would say that they'd do this anyway (and as a mother i know i was extremely conscious of and worried about any kind of noise my son makes ANYWHERE), but just in case. i know there's a tactful way to do it, i was just reading another thread a few days ago where someone suggested it and now i can't remember. i think that bride's issue was that they were streaming the ceremony online for overseas family members who couldn't make it or something. but yeah, there's got to be a way to make sure there are no crying babies during the ceremony but still have these people there.
I think that nurslings should not be expected to be left at home. As a mother of two, I know that I would do everything to prevent my baby from crying (including standing outside for the entire ceremony, if needed). If 3 of the newborns are bridal-party related, I'm sure you are close enough to the parents to ask that they do the same. Also, consider offering a loving aunt/grandma/nanny to hold a baby during the ceremony if needed.
Are you getting married in a church? Most churches have "mother's rooms" that can be utilized...
Hire a babysitter to watch the newborns during the ceremony, or else just let them (the babies) attend. Parents know to remove a crying child from a wedding ceremony.
sounds like a sitter issue. just to make it through your ceremony
I am saying no children at my wedding but lettting my FSIL bring her 3 kids because it will cost her extra $$ to find a babysitter. It's your day so its your call. If people give you a hard time just say there were part of the wedding and the kids were a package deal.
Thanks for all the input everyone! There seem to be slightly split opinions on this, which at least tells me I'm not crazy for not knowing what to do.
All the people in question will have husbands/wives/significant others with them, so there should be enough people to have them handled. So if one of the parents stays with the baby inside the venue during the outside ceremony, that would be an option, but I don't know if people will be offended by that.
If I let them have the babies at the ourdoor ceremony, my concern is that a couple of them are first time parents, and I'm worried they won't really have their "systems" down yet of how to handle it when baby goes nuts. And since the ceremony is outside, it's not like there is a room they can just duck into, they will have to walk across the grounds a bit to get back to the buildings.
I have considered the sitter idea, but like some PP mentioned, I am not sure that new parents will want to leave infants with a stranger, even if it's for half and hour and less than a coupld hundred feet away.
I'm just torn. I don't want to insult my guests, but part of me can't get over that I don't think weddings are appropriate for small children. I know I will be heart broked if I watch the video of my ceremony and all I can hear is babies crying! It feels like darned if I do, darned if I don't!
If it's within your budget, you could look in to getting a highly qualified sitter. If you have someone with some kind of nursing or professional childcare background / certificate, the new parents might be more comfortable leaving their newborns for a 1/2 hour.
I think you have to go all or nothing so as not to offend anyone. If someone has a newborn and can't be away from them for a few hours, then they really are in no shape to be going to a wedding. Don't get me wrong, I like babies and fully intend to be a mother myself one day, but if you have a baby that is sooo tiny you can't be away from it for a few hours than you shouldn't be going out to begin with. If they bring the newborn, its like they aren't there anyways because they will be distracted by caring for the baby and not really into the event.
May just be my opinon but thats my take!
Though newborns may make noise, I'm thinking that if you are really into your wedding, and are concentrating on the vows, it really wouldn't matter what is going on out there, you won't notice. Other people may be distracted, but I can't imagine a couple that is really into their own wedding that would be distracted by anything, even a crying baby.
Pick the people that are important to you to be there. Make sure you remove any obstacle that would prevent them from being there. If these happen to be parents of newborns, let them bring the tiny one.
I've read the other posts and it seems like you have quite a few options. If your bridesmaid and groomsman are close enough to be in your wedding then their close enough for you to have an honest conversation with them reguarding their newborns. With your bridesmaid being 4 weeks post partum, is she going to be physically able to be there. What if she has a c-section?
It's your wedding and if you're concerned about crying babies during the ceremony I think hiring a highly qualified babysitter like someone suggested is the best idea. Even if both parents are with their baby and he/she starts fussing neither of them may take the baby out of hearing range or neither of them may want to miss the ceremony and try to comfort the baby. How long is your ceremony? If it's under 30 minutes I wouldn't think that's to long to let a qualified babysitter care for them. If parents can't be away from their newborn for a short period of time maybe it's best for them to not attend the wedding.
I agree with you and I wouldn't want people to remember my wedding as "Oh, yeah I remember their wedding, with all the crying babies!!" While the ceremony may go perfectly and not hear a peep from them I wouldn't want to take the chance. I wish we had a no children wedding. The 3 year olds were great, it was the 14-16 year old boys that caused trouble. If I had a choice and could have a do-over I say, no children.
That's kinda tough. On the one hand, you don't want to be rude and tell people to leave the newborn at home, but at the same time if you plan to have several at the church, expect at least one might cry, which might lead to all of them crying.
Not to come off the wrong way, but I would rather have 5 year olds than newborns at the ceremony, if it were up to me. One of our groomsman had 1 month old twins and his wife was kind enough to voluntarily skip the ceremony and met us at the reception.
I would imagine it would be especially hard if your bridesmaid had to leave with her infant, as opposed to a guest who sat in the back near the door in case their little one began crying.
If you are comfortable, I would talk to the couples with newborns and suggest how nice it could be to have a night away to relax and have fun. Otherwise, hire a baby sitter if you can for the ceremony. The last thing you want is wailing while you do your vows or first kiss. And you will have enough other things on your mind that you don't need to stress about potential loud crying at the wedding. It's your day and you only get one. I don't mean to offent anyone out there with babies, I'm just saying that if can avoid having them present just for the ceremony, if might be nice.
Kids are all or none. There is no way to play favorites without seriously offending others.
I understand you would not want screaming and crying during your ceremony. However, most mothers and fathers would excuse themselves out of the room to calm the baby down. Don't stress about it, I'm sure if a baby started crying it wouldn't ruin your wedding day.
UGH! This is a hard one! I am a mother of two boys (11 and 7) and they won't even be at my wedding.
I would talk to your friend and make sure she knows to have the husband leave if the baby crys, etc. I have met many parents that just don't care and will let their babies fuss and cry because they didn't want to miss out on something...
@missbecky78: I would talk to your friend and make sure she knows to have the husband leave if the baby crys, etc. I have met many parents that just don't care and will let their babies fuss and cry because they didn't want to miss out on something...
This. I've been at weddings where the parents are just freaking clueless. Their kids just wail away for a while before they buy a clue and get up to take them away. Its embrassing. So I totally understand the OPs trepidation. Defintely let your close freinds know you expectations about crying infants in advance.
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So initially we were planning to have a no young kids (younger than 10) wedding. Then I found out one of my bridesmaids is having a baby 4 weeks before the wedding, and she lives halfway across the country without family nearby that can watch her kids. But I want her to be there, so I accepted she would have to be an exception and moved on.
Recently found out that one of FI's OOT groomsmen will also have a newborn by the time the wedding rolls around, so another one we have a hard time excluding, because otherwise he probably can't come.
And now the issue, if we let these 2 babies come, how can we exclude others? So if we say people with OOT kids can have their children come, we will wind up with 4 newborns at the wedding. If we get more exclusive and say only OOT family's children, it will be 3 newborns.
My issue is the ceremony. I don't think I mind kids at the reception, but the thought of a baby crying during my ceremony horrifies me. And with 3-4 newborns around, that seems like a distinct possibility.
So what to do? Can I somehow ask these people to not bring their babies to the ceremony and just to the reception? Or cross my fingers and just hope none of them cry?