- 3 years ago
- Wedding: April 2014 - Hotel Baronette Renaissance in Novi
Let me precursor this vent with the fact that I do unconditionally love my mother dearly, and I appreciate everything that she and my dad have always done for, including this wedding. But, bees, she’s on the verge of driving me to the courthouse next week.
Momzilla is a very difficult person for most people to get along with – I understand her, and we have a close relationship because for awhile, it was just me and her before she married my dad. Our family isn’t the most ideal, and her brothers kind of suck, but she is a textbook “victimizer.” If she’s not getting her own way, it’s automatically projected on to everyone else… everyone else hates her ideas, nobody loves her, etc. etc. I, on the other hand, for some unknown reason just have the personality that screams “suck it up buttercup, quit your crying.” I’m no frills, no fuss, and I tend to take responsibility for my own problems and feelings. These two personalities mix like oil and water.
There have been multiple fires started since the day I got engaged last summer; FI doesn’t like attention, and he didn’t really want a huge gala affair. He did respect that I wanted a fairly traditional wedding, and although we’ve had our spats (he refused to have a DJ until the partner at his firm offered one through her husband’s business as our wedding gift), and he refuses to sit at a head table to be on “display.”
Of course, my mother was pissed at this. He NEEDS to sit at a head table… that’s tradition (btw, I don’t even want a head table). You NEED to have a DJ… I’m not paying for an expensive dinner party; if that’s what YOU two want, we can just make reservations at a nice restaurant after you go to the court.
The DJ/music thing has been an ongoing issue. We do not want organized dances, and we do not want certain kinds of music (namely country, as it makes my stomach turn when I hear it); well, apparently we are being selfish brats because we want to “tell people how to have fun.” Also, she is abundantly concerned with my 18 year old sister’s place in the wedding… she continually asks “What will is your sister going to do? Will your sister stand by you, or will the other MOH?” Oh yeah… we’re having two MOHs and two Best Men because my mom kind of put pressure on me to choose my sister. She’s also concerned that because my sister loves certain music that FI and I hate (we really like old school jams), that my sister and her friends aren’t going to have fun.
Then there is the whole what everyone is wearing thing… I know every mother of the bride gets excited. But I think we’ve had more discussions on what she is wearing, do I love her dress, is it going to clash with the bridesmaids, etc. than we’ve talked about my wedding dress. Everything I seem to like (I have a very simple, rustic/vintage style, and I would like my wedding to be a reflection of that), she seems to think isn’t fancy enough. I found an adorable pair of blue heels (she by the way was anti-blue shoes) that I wanted from my favorite brand (Seychelles!), but apparently they’re going to look ridiculous with my dress. She keeps saying how she has to find someone to do her makeup and hair for the wedding… am I wrong or should it be a little more about me?
Every time that I have an idea, namely specific ideas (blame Pinterest), that are doable, I am “expecting too much,” and should just go with what the “venue” is suggesting (usually what she wants), and if I put up a minor argument or suggestion on how we can do my idea, I’m automatically a Bridezilla. She tells people this constantly, and makes jokes about how I am a Bridezilla.
And the icing on the cupcakes that we aren’t having at the reception? Everything circles back to money. My parent’s are paying for this, with no help from FI’s parents, and I have thanked them many many times, and tried in every way to express my sincere gratitude. So if things aren’t done a certain way, it’s a ding on her because SHE’S PAYING FOR IT. It’s HER investment. Which of course, makes me feel guilty and angry at the same time.
Today she hung up on me because I said that we put country music on our “do not play” list for the DJ. Reasoning – my sister is not going to be able to listen to anything, blah blah, DJs don’t even play country music so why am I bothering to put that on the list, blah blah, I’m a selfish controlling brat and I need to join reality.
It’s just gotten to the point where this is no longer fun. I don’t really give a flying f about anything to do with this wedding, and I just can’t wait for it to be over. I sat pondering about it after she hung up on me, and I just feel like she’s turned my marriage to my best friend into a gala event for herself. And that really pisses me off. I talked to KittyDaddy this morning, and we’re seriously considering applying for our marriage license today and heading to the courthouse on Valentine’s Day next week. Which would of course send Momzilla through the roof. I’m just so… so tired. Tired of all of this. And I should be excited! Any suggestions/similar problems/advice anyone has?