Another *long* Momzilla Vent – Ready to elope on V-Day next week…

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
1103 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Not knowing your circumstances, this is one of the pitfalls of letting them pay- they pay, they have a say. Now, she’s obviously being overbearing. I’m not sure what advice to give, we are paying 100% so no one elses opinion’s matters!!  

Post # 4
2073 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

our parents are both contributing to our wedding and we are paying for some of it ourselves.  However, none of us think that this gives them rights to tell us how to organize our wedding.  At all.  That’s agreed by all 6 contributing parties.  THey’re our parents.  They’re giving money to help ease the financial burden.  It’s supposed to be a gift.  It’s not something to hold over your head.

I understand the desire to just say screw it and go get married at the courthouse. But I would just say – don’t let her take your day away from you.  You want this wedding, don’t let her steal that from you.  Plan it how you want it, your way, and if she asks for updates or details, I would just tell her that you’ve planned X, it’s your way, and she can either hear the plans and be supportive, or not hear the plans at all.  And let her make the choice. 

The next time you talk to her, I”d just say something like how her hanging up on you was pretty much your last straw and that you’ve decided that she can’t appropriately conduct hersel with wedding issues and until she can handle herself with a little more maturity, you’re going to keep the planning between you and FI….

that’s just me tho

Post # 6
2675 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

Sounds very frustrating. I’ve mostly kept all my wedding plans to myself in terms of little details etc. That way no one can argue with me. They’ll just find out on the day how it’s all going down. My parents are paying the majority but have not held it over me at all. It’s rough when they do and I hope you get through it all! Like you said, not much longer to go!

My friend’s mother held all sorts of stuff over her even after the wedding. Things she didn’t even ask for at her wedding. Her mother added a Starbucks coffee bar to the reception for dessert. It was really awesome and my friend loved it! But for like 6 months after the wedding her mother would keep holding it over her head…like “Well that coffee bar cost me $X !!! I’d like a little appreciation for that!!” all the time! It was driving her crazy. Caused many fight etc…The day of her wedding her and her mom bickered like a I would expect from a teenager and her mother, it was embarrassing to watch. That said all the guests still loved her wedding and so did she. There were some rough moments to get through but if you focus on the main reason for the day and try to block everything else out, you should be okay.

Post # 7
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I feel like I could have written this post myself! My mom has recently said that the wedding will be a huge flop (like people will get up and leave) if: 1- the groomsmen have pocket squares instead of bouttenieres 2- i don’t wear stockings under my long dress 3- I don’t have favors for people (in addition to welcome bags). 

I mean, how rediciulous can you get?! Additionally, my FI and I are paying for the wedding ourselves from our savings (minus the gown she paid for), but since my savings is mostly from living rent-free under her roof for a year during graduate school that SHE is the one paying for the wedding. 

I don’t have much advice to give other than leaning on friends and FI and quietly blowing off any rediculous remarks as a need to be in control constantly. It is very hard to live with momzillas like this…

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