Another MIL rant!!

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
42510 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MrsMagillToBe:  I doubt that she thought the ex was good enough to carry his child before marriage either.

Post # 4
Member
1734 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

Yeah, I agree with julies1949 – in Western society, most folks (especially in the older generation) would not approve of having a kid before the wedding. But this is a lesson in sharing: you can’t control her behavior. And as much as she should’ve zipped her lips and nodded along to your talk about kids (after all, it isn’t her business, and if you both choose to have a child, the timeline is up to you), talking to her likely won’t change it.

I have a zero-discussion policy about kids with my in-laws. I don’t bring it up…at all. Even though I have everything I’ll ever need for a kid stocked up in my house. If they ask when we’re having kids, they get, “We’re very happily child-free and I intend to keep it that way.” It shuts the conversation down quickly. My personal business, including the state of my uterus, is no one’s business.

Unfortunately, talking about kids with the in-laws is usually about as successful as talking with them about politics or religion.

If she goes on in the future, I think it would suffice to say, “Okay, we know how you feel. Hey, did you hear/see about x?” She should get the hint loud and clear.

Post # 5
Member
2311 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

What an idiot. Its hard enough to get pregnant as it is. Do we really need ppl telling us when we are allowed to or not? It was none of her business. Period. How would she feel if you demanded something of her…i.e. “you are NOT allowed to retire before 2016 or i will kill you!”

Post # 7
Member
681 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

My FMIL is trying to convince me to get pregnant!! I told her I wanted to get married first and be able to drink wine on my wedding day, but she’s upset that other people are becoming grandmas before her.  Tough luck for her LOL.

Post # 9
Member
1466 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@MrsMagillToBe:  Tell me about it! My own mother freaks out when I talk about the possibility of having a child, although I’m in my early 20s and don’t plan to for another 4-5 years until I’m done with school and get started with a career. I’m just like, gee, did you realize I’m a grown-up now???? Yeah, it makes me angry too. And I feel invalidated. Sorry she had the gall to say that to you.

Post # 10
Member
681 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@MrsMagillToBe:  haha I am sure even if we swapped, they would still find a way to get on our nerves!  Must be a MIL’s right!

Post # 12
Member
1164 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Sounds like a rant I posted yesterday, only it’s my future FIL who is telling us when we should have kids (among other things). Why in the world do in-laws and future in-laws feel that they can dictate our lives?! Honestly, when he tells us what we SHOULD do or what we NEED to do, it makes me want to do the opposite even if I was in agreement with him to begin with. We’re adults, we don’t need to be told how to live our lives!

Post # 14
Member
1164 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@MrsMagillToBe:  HAHAHAHAHAHA 🙂 So something I’d want to do. Or just drop some “hints”. Does she text or have facebook? Send her a picture of a positive pregnancy test or something. Or just a vague status update (set to where only she can see it so everyone else doesn’t freak out!) with something like, “OMG! Time to start thinking of baby names!”

Post # 15
Hostess
7630 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

I have to agree with PP. She should have told you what to do but you shouldn’t have invited it by talking about your timeline. You were just chatting but all parents seem to hear is “I’m looking for advice on X.” 

Post # 16
Member
4827 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

She doesn’t want a baby out of wedlock I guess.

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