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So a couple of weeks ago I wrote a post http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/just-spotted-should-i-test Well I lied to the hive when I did test I got a bfp. I know some people in IRL and wanted to make sure we told our families firts. As I have discussed before I was very worried about TTC because I had 2 prior miscarriages. However, both of those times we were not TTC and they were accidents and I was on bc for both of those. I tried to get myself through trying by assuming the bc had caused the prior miscarriages, however this week at work, I began spotting and it got heavier through out the day. I went to the dr's and was indeed miscarrying.
I am devistated and I am starting to wonder if being a bio-mom just isn't meant for me at this point in my life. I am so sad and am blaming myself for this even though I logically know that I did everything I should have been doing. I was taken vitamins, getting extra folic acid, had been off bc for more than 3 months, had dropped 15lbs, etc. DH is being so positive and already talking about when we can try again, and that I meant to be a mom, and I know he has good intentions, but I don't know if I can go through with this again. The gyno said that this was a "normal" miscarriage and that there is nothing "wrong" with me, but at this point it's hard to believe. I thought it was important to share the story as I know there are others who have been through the same thing. :(
I dont get it, I read the post that you linked to, and you said in there that you weren't pregnant?
I don't quite understand either, but I'm so sorry if you have just had a miscarriage. :( ((Hugs))
I think the OP's post was cut off, it doesn't look finished..
I'm sorry you had a miscarriage :(
:hugs:
I'm so sorry for your loss sweetie. ((hugs))
ETA - I have a close friend who miscarried many times before finally having her son. She and her husband were actually seeing a fertility specialist when they found out they were pregnant with their little one. All they could do was monitor closely and hope and pray for a positive outcome this time around. Their son is now about two months old and my friend is talking about having another. Watching her go through so much was heartbreaking and I know she had many dark days where she thought it wasn't meant to be. Take a break and just focus on grieving and heal your heart sweetie. Take it one day at a time. (((((((big big hugs)))))))))
@Gingersnap: You are probably right , I was just confused at the post
(HUGS) @mtwitter80
@MsBrewer: "Well I lied to the hive when I did test I got a bfp. I know some people in IRL and wanted to make sure we told our families firts." (from her post)
@mwitter80: I'm so sorry to hear that this happened! Take the time that you need to heal from this experience and then consider trying again - there's no need to make that determination right away.
I'm so sorry, mwitter80. I know this is tough to deal with. Take some time for yourself; it's a big loss, and you need time to mourn and heal. Hugs.
Oh i am so sorry you have to do this, and do this again. It must be devastating. You don't need to make any decisions about what to do next just yet. thank you for sharing.
(@daydreamwanderer: the post originally was missing everything after the link so the people who responded responded before the OP went back and fixed her post)
I am so sorry dear :( I don't even know what to say... (((hugs)))
I'm so sorry. Trying again is super hard and not something you need to think about right now. Just get through now and worry about trying later. Super upsetting news. If only words could actually make you feel better and actually give you the hug my heart is sending.
Have your Drs. at all explored having an RH factor in your blood type? I've heard women with issues of multiple miscarriages bodies view the baby as an infection or foriegn body and then the bodies blood cells attack it in defense? I'm not sure if this is accurate or something that is possible but just figured I'd mention anything to give you some peace of mind.
My step sister also went through several devestating miscarriages herself before finally having a healthy baby girl. I can't imagine how hard it is to continue to go through this :o( I admire your tenacity in the face of adversity. You're a brave and strong woman ((HUGE HUGS!)) and best wishes for the future.
I'm so sorry to hear this news. My heart feels for you. If you really want a biological child please don't give up. My mother had multiple miscarriages and I am her only child because of it. She wanted children so terribly that she never gave up, knowing how hard it would be if the next pregnancy miscarried. Healthy, full-term pregnancies do happen to women who have had multiple miscarriages. This was just your body's way of telling you that your little one wouldn't have been healthy enough to carry on in the outside world. Having that child struggle would have been far worse. Please don't think that any of this could have been prevented, espcially if your nurse noted it was natural. I know there is nothing we can say to make you feel better right now, but please believe me it will feel better. You are learning strength and endurance. Keep strong. You are in my thoughts :)
@mwitter80: I am really so sorry for your loss. Try not to think about trying again for right now and mourn the loss of your little one. You're in my thoughts and prayers.
Thank you everyone for your kind words. It's just a struggle right now. I'm having a bit of a pity party for myself, but I know we'll be ok.
@mwitter80: You're allowed to have a pity party for yourself! This certainly isn't something that can be taken lightly. Let us know if you need anything at all...even if it's just to listen.
Sorry to hear that. I know someone who had mulitple miscarriages (even after the 1st trimester) and she eventually had a healthy baby. The doctors had to monitor her, but everything worked out.
@mwitter80: Sweetie, it's not a pity party, it's a loss. You have every right to mourn and take the time you need to to deal with it. More ((hugs)). We're here for you.
Don't lose hope. I know two women who each had 4 miscarriages before every carrying a pregnancy to term.
That is so sad. But, the only way you know if you can be a bio-mom is by keep on trying. Yes it is hard and maybe take some time to emotionally heal before starting to ttc again.
That is so sad. But, the only way you know if you can be a bio-mom is by keep on trying. Yes it is hard and maybe take some time to emotionally heal before starting to ttc again.
I"m taking this metaphor from a thread asking how to tell a little girl that her mother had miscarried the baby she was so excited about. Although the metaphor will help the little girl understand, it also exactly explains why you shouldn't blame yourself for the miscarriage:
When you plant seeds in a garden, not all of them will grow. Sometimes things just don't go well due to the mix of genes within that embryo. Please don't be disheartened and stop trying, you did everything you could and one day will make an amazing mother. :)
I'm sorry for your loss. Anything I can do? Just because I'm some internet stranger doesn't mean I can't send you things you need! :)
I am so sorry. I know how hard it is having been through it myself. If you need anything the whole hive is here for you and if you ever just want to chat feel free to PM me at anytime. ((((HUGS))))
@firsttimemom: LOL thank you...I think I've got it taken care of but I appreciate it
To echo everyone else, I'm very sorry for your loss. I have two children and I know the excitement you must have felt at being pregnant. I will also chime in with a story about my good friend who had two miscarriages in a row. She found out that she had a very common disorder where getting pregnant was not an issue. But after a few weeks, the placenta starts to create blood clots (I can't remember the medical name but you could Google it) and that would cause the fetus to "starve" and she would miscarry.
The doctor told her that she should take one baby aspirin a day while trying to conceive and it worked! So, I would check into that possibility (when you're ready, of course).
Take care*
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