Post # 1
Ive been lurking around for while and have enjoyed reading about people’s excitement about their pending nuptials, giggled at the funny “waiting” stories and sympathized with the not-so-pleasant stories.
Last night my BF broke up with me and I’m not even sure I know why- he just didnt love me I guess. Sometimes there just isn’t a reason other than that. We’d been together a few months but for the first time in years I really felt that I had met a kindred spirit. I thought he felt the same, at least that’s what he’d been saying. it might sound strange but this has all come as a complete surprise to me. Normally I can see a breakup coming you know, when the little cracks start to appear, but with this one I got nothing. I wasn’t planning a wedding or anything but I sure was picturing a long future! I suppose you could say I fell head over heels, problem is I just kept falling…
Anyway, I know there isn’t much anyone can say, just gotta keep on keepin’ on, but I just feel so defeated. I know something great could be just around the corner but I’m 35 and back in the single pool again. That in itself is not so bad, I have a godd life and I was happy before I met him so I know I will be again.
…but it sure is nice to have someone by your side, especially someone as special as I thought he was.
…and I just can’t understand why this keeps happening. Maybe there just isn’t a reason other than I just havent met the right man yet but…to quote a famous tv show “WHERE IS HE?!!”
sorry for another sad post among many in a place where I imagine one would expect more happy ones. Guess I was just having a weak moment and wanted to get it off my chest.
Post # 3
@hatched: I’m very sorry you are going through this, but the wonderful thing about the bee is there’s always someone who can relate! I’m going through a breakup too, and am pretty down, but I am here for you if you need anything. Things will work out just fine for you, I’m sure of it. Our special men are out there probably dealing with crazy women thinking, “WHERE IS SHE?” And when they find us, it will be magic. 😉
Keep your head up
Post # 4
@hatched: *hugs* I’ve had a break-up like yours, too. We were together for 2+ years. And then, it was *poof!* and he was gone. I just got a text that it wasn’t working out. In the end, I’m glad he left like that because I didn’t want to give him any reason to come back into my life.
I know it hurts right now but you’ll pull through this. We’ve all been blindsided by bad men but there are plenty of good ones waiting for someone like you.
Post # 5
@hatched: I’m sorry your going through this. Break ups just suck. I had one like this 3 years ago. A year after I met my FI and here I am planning a wedding. Now I see why things happened the way they did. I thought I was in love with a good guy back then but he doesn’t have a thing on my FI. It will get better. 3 months from now you will wake up and you won’t even think of him. Don’t worry about where “he” is. I found FI when I wasn’t looking, in a city I wasn’t planning on spending much time in. They just show up when the time is right.
Post # 6
I had a relationship like this. Lasted a few months then all of a sudden it was over. 1 month later I started to have feelings for a friend…. now my SO. 6 years later we’re still crazy about eachother
Thing is, LIFE IS CRAZY. You can’t really plan life. you can try, but you may not always succeed.
We were friends for 1.5 years before dating. If someone told me I’d end up with Mr.memo, I’d tell them they were nuts!
You never know, your prince charming could be right under your nose.
Post # 7
Sorry you’re going through this. I have had the same thing happen to me a few times. A time or two, I was aware that it was my fault (I had bad mood issues.) But the other times, it was out of the blue and that hurt worse. It hurts when you trust someone and care a lot about them, and they just leave you like you never meant anything. What makes things easier, is to remember the right one WILL come along. You just have to keep at it with a positive mind and follow your heart. I have been hurt a lot, but I have also had a lot of loving relationships as well that I have learned so much from. Each time it doesn’t work out, it puts you one step closer to the one relatioinship that will stick for good 🙂
Post # 8
I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I know that the cliches are used in situations like this but I would like to give you some useful advice.
I am 48 and I was in a long term relationship that I ended because it was not what my spirit would allow me to continue with. Long story short, I took sometime and got with myself and really look at why I was in a relationship like the one I left.
You have to look deep inside and find out what you really want and need from your partner. Every relationship we enter into there is always somehing to learn within that relationship whether it be about ourselves or the other person.
You are a wonderful person and I promise you that special partner is coming your way.You have learned whatever you were suppose to from him and now he has gotten out the way for your Mr. Right to come into your life.
Consider yourself thankful because you are blessed to have divine intervention to guide you to that perfect man for you.
Post # 9
@hatched: I know how you feel. The same thing happened to me, but it was a week after we got engaged! I read this line somewhere and it is what kept me going. “If you were so happy with someone that apparently wasn’t right for you, imagine how awesome it will be when you find the one that IS right for you”!!
Post # 10
I know I’ll get through this, just didnt think I’d be back here again. Just feeling a little sad and sorry for myself. I’ve had so many failed relationships in the past few years that I really can’t believe it’s not me, or something I am doing wrong.
It seems there’s always something, I’m too cold, too caring, too needy, too independent, too tall, too fit, too dumb, too smart…?!!!
They say women are hard work, men are just as bad.
i just found it really hard that this time, it wasn’t for any of those reasons. That despite the fact he thought I am so wonderful, I am apparently still unlovable.
Anyway, I’m off to hug my dog, thanks for the lovely thoughts and inspiration!
Post # 11
Just wanted to chime in with hugs and ‘been there’. I used to look at people who to my mind were just awful who were married or long term and think, someone loves THEM, what on earth can be so wrong with ME?? I was also perfectly happy with my single life but did have the discouragement of ‘another one bites the dust.’ My perfect guy came along when I was 45 – I am sure you don’t have to wait that long 🙂
Post # 12
Thanks Mrs WoW
that pretty much sums up exactly what’s going through my head at the moment.
Im glad you found your perfect guy 🙂
Post # 13
@hatched: Yeah, I kissed alot of frogs and it sucks when you get dumped by them. Only thing you can do is firgure out your own issues (I beleive we bring certain people into our lives to learn lessons) and become the best YOU, you can be–not perfect, but allowing all your strengths and weaknesses to shine.
I met DH when I was 38. I had been ill for several years and didnt date for 4 years previously. I was still getting over the illness, but needed to ease my way back into the dating pool. I used OKCupid.com because it had lots of games and surveys and quizzes you could take. It was more than just a dating site. I didnt really think I’d meet anyone, I was recovering from an illness, unemployed, living with my parents and 20+ lbs over weight. But DH was the 2nd guy I met (and he broke up with me too, about 5 moths in for about a month) and less than 2 years later we were married (at 40).
And the funny thing is, when it’s the perfect person for you, you are never TOO anything. All my other SO’s said I was too needy, DH doesnt understand what they are talking about.
The worst breakups are the ones that things seem to be clicking and they are really nice. But sometimes they can see things you cant. That good enough, isn’t always good enough when you are looking for a life partner. You need to find someone who is perfect for you (not perfect, just a perfect fit for you). And when you do, it will be all the sweeter.
Post # 14
My brother went through a similar break up earlier last year, and it was devastating. They only dated a few months, but we (and he) thought she was the one. They were perfect together, both single parents, kids loved each other, they seemed totally in love. They made plans to move in together, got a lease on an appartment, the whole nine yards.
Then she just ended it, over text message no less. No reason given other then she just wasnt attracted to him like she thought she was.
It was so hard for him, and still is. But almost a year later, he can at least hear her name and not get sad. He’s getting better, and I’m pretty sure he’s ready to start dating again.
I know if sucks, but it’ll be that much sweeter when you do meet someone who feels the same way as you. Hang in