Post # 1
My mother has a heart of gold and my parents are extremely generous and my parents are paying for the entire wedding and my dress. But she has very definite views on some things and I seriously have to shake my head and laugh or else I’ll cry! Anyone else know the feeling?
For example tonight… She accidentally saw my Shoes of Prey sample and of course wanted to know what colour I was going for. I shouldn’t have been so truthful! Lol. Not sure why I expected differently. So I point for a very pale pink silk – that will go with my wedding colours and I LOVE… all I get is (firmly): “No.” If I could have put that full stop in caps I would have!!!
Anyone else walking the minefield of having parents paying for their wedding but having quite a different vision? I’m not looking forward to the day she finds out I want my flower girl (niece) wearing light pink too! I certainly will make sure I already have it bought by then 😉 there are certainly some things I’m willing to concede, like when they put their foot down to my desire to use our engagement photos on the back of our invitations, but this is still my/our wedding and I wish she’d be a tad more respectful of that.
Honestly, if we could pay for this ourselves we would, but quite simply we cant. And my parents have certain expectations anyway that there’s no way we could execute (I guess the fact our venue, incl food/drink, alone is $22000 mn spend should tell the story). It’s going to be an “interesting” ten months 😉
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC
I feel for you. Parents turn when it comes to weddings and ours arent even paying for the wedding just bits of it. I wouldnt immediately dismiss them, sometimes they have good points which we just label overbearing thought and ignore:
Example A: Me and mum go bridal dress shopping
Me: This is the dress I like
mum: Uh …. no it doesnt even look like its finished
Me: what about this one
Mum: youre not cinderella.
Look all im saying are these dresses are not you. Your style is more glamorous try this one on
Me: I love it.
Different story with the flower girl dress and cake though
Me: I like this one for baby girl
Mum: her shoulder are showing, its too adult
Me: The shoulder issue is your issue mum
Mum: Its too adult
Me: but I love it and its perfect for a garden wedding and bla bla bla bla
Mum: Still dont like it
Me: Well if we ask her mother and she says yes or no then well know
Its taken me a year to lean how to be able to talk to mum about this wedding. Sometimes introducing the idea early and explaining why I love it and providing inspiration pics really wears her down (she nearly had a fit when I said I was using balloons but had to admit it was lovely when i showed her inspirtion pics) and sometimes shes just right so hear her out and talk to her
Post # 4
- Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY
@goingtotherooftopoflove: They really trap you with the money, don’t they!?! My mom is contributing like 15% and thinks I want her opinion on everything. I don’t. She hasn’t been too too bad BUT she hasn’t been to weddings in like 10 years but OF COURSE, this season she’s gone to like 4 and ALL I HEAR now is things like, “Oh she had these litle guest bags, you need to do them!” and “ohh you definitely need to have a chocolate candy bar” and “You simply must wear a veil, Katie did at her wedidng!”
She’s got a little bit of Keeping up with the Joneses after her little wedding tour…. I wish she were still clueless….
Post # 5
@lealorali: my mum’s issue is 95% a case off keeping up with the joneses. It’s stifling! So much for the “mutual weirdness forever” sign FH and I would love. I’m even too scared to bring up the fact I want a spot to put photos of our grandparents weddings, especially since my nan just passed (brother & I are home for the funeral which was on Friday). There’s just going to have to be stuff I arrange with our event planner at the venue and don’t tell her about.