Another plus one question…

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Do I have to write '& Guest'
    No, it's fine. If people want to bring a date they will : (3 votes)
    8 %
    Yes, you should put it on the outer envelope : (30 votes)
    81 %
    You really need an inner envelope and should put it there : (4 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2429 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I addressed the envelope to include “and Guest” because I didn’t have an inside envelope.  It was the best way I could figure to let them know they could bring someone.

    Post # 4
    Member
    10986 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    Technically, the proper manner in which to do this is to contact guests whose SOs are not already being invited by name and ask the names of the guests that they would like to bring.  Then, you would send invitations directly to those individuals. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    42460 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @MsGinkgo:  Yes, it matters. Otherwise, the correct thing to do if you receive an invitation in your name only, is to assume it is meant only for you.

    Post # 7
    Member
    420 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @MsGinkgo:  I would be kind to the people who may know correct ettiquette whom you are inviting and indicate either on the outside envelope or the RSVP card that they are welcome to bring a guest.  All I can tell you is that if I were sent an invite with just my name and no more clarifying details, I would assume it is just for me.  I’m sure there are plenty others out there who think this.  

    If you don’t want to put it on the envelope or RSVP card what about calling those handful of guests when invites go out to let them know they are welcome to bring a friend?

    Post # 9
    Member
    42460 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @MsGinkgo:  I agree. But I wouldn’t want to be party to reinforcing that notion.

    As a pp has stated , the 100% correct way would be to find out the name of the guest and send them their own invitation. The trouble with that is that your guests who are not in a relationship may not know who they re going to invite as their date until closer to the wedding.

     

    Post # 10
    Member
    10748 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    Are your RSVP cards I signed yet? What about putting a line like “__ seats reserved for you” and you can just fill it in with 2 or whatever number. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    7195 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @MsGinkgo:  Where’s the option for “you should write it on the invitation not the outer envelope”? The outer envelope is for the postal service, so only has the person at that address.

    If it’s just a handful of friends, I don’t understand why it’s hard to write “and guest” on the invite. An invitation should be informative.

    Post # 14
    Member
    165 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I wrote “and guest” on the outer envelope, and also had a space for the person to write “number attending” on the RSVP card. I wanted it to be as clear as possible, and if anyone was weirded out by having “and guest” on the envelope, I haven’t heard it yet. *shrug* 

    Post # 15
    Member
    1242 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2017

    @MsGinkgo:  Regardless of what tacky people move people pull with bringing someone uninvited, doesn’t mean all people will do it. If I was single I would not know (and wouldn’t think to ask, nor would i even think) to bring a date if it didn’t say “and guest” on the invite. As far as my SO, if my invite didn’t include him, I would probably call up the bride and groom to make sure there wasn’t some mistake.

    Post # 16
    Member
    7195 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @MsGinkgo:  Maybe it’s a regional thing, because I don’t think I’ve ever seen an invitation – for a wedding, birthday party or anything else – which didn’t name the people invited! Anyway my thinking was it’s informal, so do what’s practical. And since most people throw away the envelope and keep the invitation, writing on the invitation seems most practical. But if you think what I’m suggesting is really weird, feel free to ignore me 🙂

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