(Closed) Another post about MOH problems…

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
1890 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

It’s amazing the number of grown adults who still mooch off their parents and anyone else who is willing to help them out.  I think it is very mature of you to consider talking to her about your issues and not just ending the friendship.  You should bring up the stealing thing too–I don’t care if you don’t have a job, it is always wrong to steal from a friend.  Talk everything over with her, and if she’s still someone that you want to have in your life, then keep her in the wedding party.

Post # 4
5891 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

this woman STEALS from you?  oh HELL no.

i’d be honest.  i wouldn’t mention anything about her issues with her family, cos that doesnt concern you, but tell her you flat out don’t trust her after the way she’s treated you and you’ve tried to be supportive of her situation (i.e. setting up job interviews), but she takes advantage of you (i.e. theft).  you no longer feel this person is your friend and you no longer want her to stand up with you.  it’s not like she’ll be out any money!

Post # 5
544 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

PPs are right. You owe this woman nothing. However, you owe yourself EVERYTHING. You come first, and although it’s hard to tell someone they are no longer welcome in your life, I think you’ll feel like a huge weight is lifted off your shoulders!

Post # 8
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

So your friend with whome you’ve been nothing but supportive to is the same person that you caught stealing from you, has asked you for money while bragging about the fact she’s living off the state / relatives, and has embarassed you by not showing up to the interviews you set up for her (well, at least I would have been embarassed by that).

And yet, she’s your MoH and you’ve never confronted her about it. She thinks you two are still besties, while you avoid her and don’t answer her phone calls.

I hate to say it, but you kind of caused the situation by never being honest with her and asking her to be your MoH even though you already had problems with her!

You need to make a decision, if you want this person in your life or not (I’d say not). In either case, at least talk to her and explain that you do not approve her behaviour and find it very difficult to be supportive in those circumstances!

Post # 10
5891 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

@jenroh1984: i’m sorry, m’dear, but i also agree with lexsy.  you have to take some responsibility here and approach her, otherwise you are enabling the behavior and setting the precedent that it’s ok to treat you this way. 

Post # 11
75 posts
Worker bee

End the relationship. I’m non-confrontational as well, but this is something you need to stand up for yourself. Heck, I wish I lived near you and could go do it for you because people like that anger me beyond words. And it’s why our government extending unemployment and doling out foodstamps like they were going out of style bugs me. I was unemployed for a time before this recent downturn but in a bad time in my field, I looked for jobs, I stayed home, I didn’t spend money (I didn’t have soda and get my nails done that’s for darn sure!) and I paid my mortgage and took classes and got a job…it didn’t pay what I needed but I sucked it up and cut back on expeneses (again, no nails!) and then found a little better paying job and worked a 2nd job for a long time to to be able to get by…oh and had a roommate. I now make decent money and I pay a heck of a lot of taxes and having people like that getting it all for free, especially at age 24, really, really irks me…

Post # 12
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Someone who steals from you is NOT your friend. 

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