- 7 years ago
- Wedding: October 2010
We have a VERY close family friend (newly divorced lady) that has 2 young children. Lets call said friend Rose. She’s totally awesome, sweet, loving, caring & just an all around amazing person.
When we first met Rose she was married to a total douche but ended up divorcing him. A while later she starts dating this other guy, Dick. This guy is a TOTAL LOSER (plus he’s creepy & just a total weirdo). He doesn’t work, lives off unemployment and still lives w/ his wife…that’s right, he’s STILL married. But Dick’s going to “leave his wife because he doesn’t love her, it’s not working out, b.s., b.s., b.s.”. Well it’s been a few years now and he has yet to leave his wife. I doubt that will ever happen; but to make her feel better, Rose now has a promise ring *insert eye roll here*.
When we addressed the STD & the wedding invitation no where, on ANY envelope, did we include Dick. We even did our response cards like: “We have reserved 3 seats for you. __ out of 3 are attending”, so she knows damn well Dick was not invited. She never sent her RSVP, so I text her one day making sure she was coming & she told me, “Oh of course! Put us down for 4”. I immediately told her we did not have room to accommodate anyone else at the time, but I would let her know if we ended up having any extra room. This, of course, is not the actual truth…I just do NOT NOT NOT want him there! He will monopolize her time, will not let her mingle or speak w/ anyone else & because of him they will leave by 3 or 4. She ends up telling me she understands but to let her know if we have any room.
Once Rose asks & you give her a final answer, she will not bring it up again. Because of this I didn’t think we’d have to have this discussion again…but today happened. Rose asks my mom if we ended up having any room & why she can’t bring Dick. Rose also tells my mom that Dick is having a big fat cow because he wasn’t invited & he’s hurt that we do not consider him & Rose “a couple” (Uh, hello asswad…you’re MARRIED!). My mom tells Rose no, we are not inviting any extra people & asks Rose why Dick feels he’s entitled to be at our wedding. They end up changing the convo and whatever.
So tonight Rose calls me. She AGAIN asks me if she can bring Dick & I again tell her, “I’m sorry, but no. We still need to account for our vendors. We don’t have room”. She tells me that her & Dick don’t need chairs, they can just stand in a corner somewhere…”Uh, no. That’s not okay. You need to be comfortable. Besides, we still have to account for EVERYONE, whether seated or standing”. Then she says, “Well, how about I leave the kids w/ my parents so Dick can come w/ me?”…is she f-ing serious?!?! “No, Rose. You know I love your kids to death & I want them there. They need to be apart of this”. Rose also throws this at me, “Well, the kids already consider Dick their father”. Wtf does that have to do w/ me??
I cannot believe Dick’s making Rose put me in this situation. This is not fair to either me or her. I know he is the voice behind all of this. She would not ask 3 more times if it weren’t for him bitching at her. He KNOWS we (as in my WHOLE family) cannot stand him, so I don’t know why he’d want to be there in the first place. If Rose asks again, I’m thisfreakingclose to laying into her.
The problem is, my family & I love Rose dearly. She’s just one of those people you don’t know you got through life without. I do not want to hurt her and I know this is bothering her. For some stupid reason, although FI & I desperately don’t want Dick there, I feel so bad. Besides me hating him & not wanting to see his face, I feel Dick will not let Rose have a good time. This means so much to me that she & her kids enjoy themselves.
I was absolutely sticking to my guns about this, but after her guilt trip tonight I’m starting to fade fast. I’m just so torn. More than anything I don’t want to hurt Rose. What do I do?!