Another stupid social media rant: would this bother you?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
819 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

BurlapnLace:  DH and I are both into fitness and like multiple fitness pages/people… however, I would also find this behavior somewhat alarming and excessive. Have you tried talking to him about it and how it bothers you? Have you read any of his comments on those pictures? Maybe you can come to an agreement on phone use? DH and I agreed that phones are not allowed in bed and during certain other times. Hope you can figure something out!

Post # 4
Member
2355 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I wouldn’t be feeling warm and fuzzy, either. Tell him he’s spending too much time on his devices.

Post # 5
Member
1236 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA

There are two issues here:

 

1) He’s on his phone all the time

 

2) There are women on his facebook.

 

The latter you’re going to have to sort out yourself. Men are visual creatures; he’s always going to look. Asking him not to would be controlling and manipulative of you. You can, however, limit the phone use – ask him to keep it plugged in when you’re spending time together, for instance. Offer to do the same with your phone. My guy and I had to negotiate this because he constantly checks sports stuff on his phone and it’s really distracting when we’re watching a movie or cuddling. So approach this from a mature, non-emotional-kneejerk place and address the *real* problem (overuse of phone) without making it all about your insecurities (women who are beautiful exist and your BF sees them.) Remember, he chose YOU out of all the others. That should be enough.

Post # 6
Member
5966 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

 

BurlapnLace:  Here’s an idea…. Go gather a whole bunch of these photos from the pages he likes. Post them all one after another to his facebook page. Just sit there and post them all. when he finaly asks you “wtf burlap? what’s with all the posts?” just say “oh I was just getting it all out of the way. I figured if I just put it all there on your page it will save you some time so you can actually spend time with your fiance instead of liking 20324802984392 pages and photos of fitness women on facebook. I was really only trying to be helpful”.  lol that’s what I would do. But this all depends on your relationship. …Im kidding… kind of lol 🙂

In all seriousness… Just becuase your FI finds these women attractive or admires their bodies (probably more for the work he knows went into them than just being plain sexually attracted) doesn’t mean he somehow finds you less attractive. I would focus more on how much time he is spending on social media. Tell him it’s starting to take away from your relationship and that it’s becoming a problem. I sometimes get too involved with facebook and twitter and don’t even realize it. Sometimes just a little nudge makes me realize how ridiculous im being. Just be honest 🙂

Post # 7
Member
7281 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

Ask him how he would feel if you “liked” a photo of a naked guy with his hand over his member. Or maybe print them out and plaster your bedroom with them and see how he reacts. Then tell him you though you were just making it easier for him to enjoy all of the images that he likes, so maybe now he can interact with you instead of his phone.

Post # 8
Member
1180 posts
Bumble bee

What bothers me is that his “obsession” with following these people on FB is taking away time and attention from you. Unacceptable. He needs to reprioritize what and who is important to him and act accordingly.

Post # 9
Member
655 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - SPRING VALLEY COUNTRY CLUB

My FI and I are both social media users. We both have FB,Instagram, twitter. We aren’t even following one another on any of these sites. 

I feel like if you let it. Social Media can ruin your relationship. I trust him, and he trust me. If i ever wanted to see anything he’d show me and vise versa.

There are always going to be women whom admire looking at your man and women he like visually. That’s part of life. You can’t control that. What you can control is your reation to it. Just cuz he’s on his phone a lot, doesn’t mean he’s doing something he shouldn’t be.

I can understand you not wanting him to focus on the phone when you’re having alone time or on a date or something. 

 

Post # 11
Member
1470 posts
Bumble bee

I’d ask him what gives…why the newfound obsession/addiction? Talk to him about the why he all of a sudden can’t keep his hands off his phone…it’s not work related so it’s recreational. Tell him it makes you feel like he no longer enjoys your company and conversation.

I would definitely have a problem with it.

Post # 12
Member
3806 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

BurlapnLace:  Well if you’re curious about how this behavior would make me feel, I don’t think I would care this much. Men are visual beings. He is enjoying something he sees. It’s his rated PG porn. *shrugs*

However, I would have an issue if my husband showed less interest in me intimately, emotionally, and physically. That would bother me.

Post # 14
Member
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

BurlapnLace:  Yes, I think I wouldn’t be happy about that.  It’s one thing to publicly admire an athlete and another to  cover your Facebook page with what amounts to fitness porn. 

I get what you mean about the clothes.  Every now and again I’ve run across body builders in public and it can be the dead of winter and they’re running around in a tank top to show off the guns.  It looks a little ridiculous and attention seeking. 

Post # 15
Member
461 posts
Helper bee

In my opinion, Facebook and other forms of social media are just bad news for relationships.  I’m just thinking of the posts I’ve read on WB that start with “we got back in touch through Facebook.”  Sorry, but liking photos of almost naked women is completely disrespectful to you, not to mention he can’t tear himself away from his phone long enough to be present in your relationship!

 

 

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