(Closed) Another wedding etiquette question

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@jenilynevette:  my best friend is having a destination weddinG. She rented a giant beach house and people have given her money to help with the cost. She is only inviting close family, so it worked for her to ask for money.

With friends, etc,  however, I don’t know if it will work.  Typically the bride and groom will pay. IMHO I would rather pay for a cheap hotel on my own then pay a lot more for a fancy cottage room, even though I’m sure it is beautiful. I’m just dirt poor most of the time and can’t afford things like that. It depends on your guests, really. 

Post # 5
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@jenilynevette:  3 rooms isn’t too bad, I’m sure you would be able to find people to fill them, ESP since your wedding isn’t for while it will give you time to arrange for people to use those rooms.  If it comes down to it you could offer to help your friends with the cost (that way you wont get stuck paying for empty rooms). Hopefully you will get some good responses on here to help you out!

Post # 6
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

This is a tricky situation. Your guests should never be asked to reimburse you for anything though. I only see two options –

1. Pay for the rooms yourself and invite guests of honor to stay there. 

2. Ask the hotel to hold the rooms for your wedding but don’t put any money on it. Whoever wants to pay the price can stay there. 

Post # 9
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

@jenilynevette:  I can understand how that can be confusing. It’s fine for guests to pay the hotel for their own room. It’s not ok for guests to pay the host for their room. It’s considered rude for a host to ask their guests to pay for things. 

Post # 10
Member
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Just call the family and friends that you think would want to stay in the extra rooms and cottages and let them make reservations themselves.  You shouldn’t have to put down deposits and try to seek reimbursement.  It’s awkward and honestly the last thing you’ll want to deal with during your wedding weekend.  If they want to stay there, they’ll act on the information.  If they don’t, they can figure out where else to stay. 

We had a few people wait until a couple weeks before our wedding to make hotel reservations and our room block was already full.  They had to scramble and ended up staying at a different hotel that wasn’t as nice and was more expensive than ours.  I didn’t feel badly about it because we gave our guests nearly a year to make reservations, and we specifically warned everyone (by word of mouth) about a large convention that would make room availability scarce.

Post # 12
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We are having our wedding at a B&B type place and are in the same situation. There are only 7 rooms so we’ve blocked the rooms so they can’t be booked by anyone else not involved in the wedding. We didn’t have to pay a deposit for this because our ceremony and reception are at this site. Basically, the people staying at the inn will call to put the room in their name before the wedding. If not everyone books the rooms then we have 10 days to cancel our reservations for the rooms. Hope this makes sense! For us atleast, the people staying at the inn will be the bridal party and close family members…we gave them first dibs since there are only 7 rooms. They all understand that they will need to put the rooms in their names.

Post # 14
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee

Guests pay for their own accomodation when THEY are calling and booking it and arranging their own.  If the host is organizing it they should either pay for the rooms, or have the couple book their own.

There is no polite way to ask for reimbursement. 

Were the rooms a part of booking your reception at the hotel or a set of blocked rooms that happens to be at your venue?

 

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