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Religion aside, I believe married couples are partners. You need to talk to your husband about the way you feel and how you feel needs to be taken into account during the decision making process.
Las Vegas, though it's not my absolute favourite place being an East Coast native, is really not that bad. I've lived here for three years and know the area pretty well. Feel free to PM me any questions about the city and living here. I'll do my best to answer them for you.
A relationship should be a 50/50 partnership. One person should never make all the decisions.
@Lilubird: I haven't lived in Las Vegas, but I've visited. Although the strip and casinos are the most publicized to outsiders. There are lots of residential neighborhoods, restaurants and things to do far from the tourist area. The school system is purported to be quite excellent and there's quite a few churches and civic organizations. So while there is the touristy public side of the city, there's also a part that has a sense of community that is family friendly. Not sure if that helps, but that's what I know from visiting and talking to the locals.
@Cappugcino: Everything you said is right on- except about the schools. Las Vegas schools, well, Nevada in general, are abysmal. Certainly some are better than others but in general the education here is terrible and if it's a big concern one should heavily research school zoning (though they seem to redo that every few years) and private schools.
Okay, so...I'm going to say right off the bat that I don't know if you should move or not. But I'm going to come right out and say that all of this "I haven't been filling the wife role"/"I've been making the decisions"/"my husband should be leading", etc. is complete crap. You're partners. If you move SOLELY because he wants to & not because you agree that it's the best thing for your family, you're going to end up resenting him. You need to make the decision TOGETHER.
My uncle used to be an RN in Las Vegas for several years and he liked it. I think you and him should weigh the pros and cons and make sure it makes sense. Can he move out there alone first and you follow later? Or agree that you'll try it for 6 mos to a year and if it doesn't work out you'll both move back home.
I know it is hard being the wife AND the breadwinner. But it's hard for men to accept this too. You may decide it is worth the move in order to get the dynamics of your relationship and the household roles back on track. Plus, it's not forever. Trying a new city may end up being a good thing. Good luck!
Hey ladies :)
Thanks for your advice and insight.
I should, however, cleafiy. My husband and I definately make decisions together.
But because i've been breadwinner, ive had a lot more control over how our household runs.
This has cause some issues because I feel entitled to these decisions and therefor has been something i've been praying on.
Us moving would change that dynamic and require me to let go of some of that "entitled" control.
I used to work in Vegas as a travel RN... it was last year. I sent you a PM about my experience. To follow up, I really enjoyed living in Vegas (can't speak for the educational system or raising a kid there) but the working conditions... well, you'll see what I sent ya.
To attempt to answer this from a "Christian" perspective--
I do respect (and agree with) your apparent desire to allow your husband to "lead" including financially. I can only imagine how difficult that must be for him to be unemployed!
I personally do believe that God can take situations like this and have us follow his will by him closing doors, and leaving only one open. I don't think you mentioned this in your post, but would his potential job be better paying than your job alone? (if not, then disregard what I'm about to say. it woud be more complicated.) Anyhow, I do believe, and it sounds like you are leaning towards this also, that this could be God's way of telling you to move to LV.
I'm saying a prayer for you right now, to know and do His Will! :-)
I have lived in Las Vegas my entire life, please feel free to email me with any questions! LopazeCreations@gmail.com
Shelby
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Hi Bees,
I've been a solid bee'er for awhile now and feel like I can comfortably say i'm amoung friends.
That being said I need to share something with you all.
I love my husband, deeply, and I know he wants whats best for us.. but he has been looking earnestly for an RN job now for a few months and has got nothing back.. nothing.. and we're living solely on the money I bring in from my business.
I'm telling you this man is so unbelieveably qualified and would make an incredibile nurse on anyones floor. Because of this, I can't help but think there are other things in the mix that are keeping him from getting a job. I have been praying a lot lately on how God can strengthen our marriage, as I have been fighting the "wife" role a lot, trying to lead and make big decisions, when really my husband should be calling most of the shots. It's a really hard habit to break but I know it has something to do with me needing to be in control.
So, after praying that prayer for awhile and waiting patiently, we finally get something...
a job lead!
But it's in Navada... Las Vegas...
I'm fighting this HARD. I don't want to leave. I love where we live. I love our friends and our family. Everything is close and comfortable and I would be all alone..
But maybe this is God answering my prayer? Maybe this is Him telling me to let my husband lead.. and trust he knows whats best for us..
I don't know. Im scared and nervous and if he gets this job I know he'll want to go.
Help bees. Help me see that this situation will be okay. God's in charge and my husband will make all the right decisions.. I'm having such a hard time trusting in all that.
Also, if any of you know anything about living in Las vegas SHARE! I'm at a loss and no nothing about the area.. nothing good anyway.
<3