Post # 1
I’ve been interviewing for more jobs recently (yeah!), but don’t know how/when/if to address the wedding question.
A) a job would be really really nice right now.
B) our wedding is 5 months away, we have paid for half of our all-in-one wedding package, our date is very set in stone now (has been for awhile, we change and we lose lots of money, lots of my parent’s money, and the date that we love). Most of our guests are coming from out of town and have already started to make plans. We have also paid for our honeymoon hotel, events while on our honeymoon (the only thing we haven’t paid for are our plane tickets to London).
So how do I address this issue? Do I evade until I get an offer? Do I evade until I start, if so when do I say something (this seems not cool to me)?
Post # 3
I wouldn’t say anything about your wedding until after you receive an offer. At that point you can tell them you need time off on such and such dates in order to accept.
Post # 5
@MsJ2theZ: Ahh… thanks! This has been stressing me out to the max so it’s nice to have an answer!
Post # 6
To add… your wedding is personal and has no baring on your ability to do a job, so I’m not even sure they’re technically allowed to bring this up, because if they chose not to hire you it could be grounds for “discrimination” on your part. Etc etc…
Post # 7
As a manager, I’d just want to know what dates so I can plan ahead is all! Otherwise itd make no difference to me.
Post # 8
@renwoman: Wait until you get an offer, then tell them. Talking about family/personal life in an interview is generally discouraged.
Post # 9
Most people will say not to bring it up, but in all honesty, I completely disagree with this school of thought, especially if your wedding is 5 months away.
You will obviously need time off for your wedding and possibly honeymoon, so they will need to know that. In my opinion, if they are going to give you crap about having time off for the most important day/time of your life, you don’t want to work for them anyway.
And they can’t NOT hire you simply because you’re getting married. Some places might make this decision, but that is just plain wrong. And again, if they don’t want to hire someone just because of a wedding, I wouldn’t want to work there.
I would ask your “other” questions first (questions associated with the job), then say, “Just so you know, I am getting married on X date and I would be needed some time off. Would that be a problem at all?”
Post # 10
I am in the same boat. I would not bring it up until they make an offer. I don’t think an employer would ask about a wedding during an interview, that’s pretty personal.
Post # 11
Here it’s illegal to ask about marital status and children for job interview. I wouldn’t address this subject right away, I would definitely wait for an offer before telling them. An employer cannot refuse to allow 1 day (paid) to get married either.
Post # 12
@renwoman: I’m interviewing for jobs right now. I don’t go out of my way to bring the issue up, but should the subject come up in conversation I don’t hide it. I remember at one job I was at recently the interviewer (a very nice woman) said “I know that you just graduated. Are you living back at home?” and that’s when I said “no, I actually live with my fiance.” At that was the end of that dialogue. I don’t want to be sneaky and dishonest, but if something related to it comes up, I don’t want to lie about it. I’m hearing back from a few different jobs (one is the interview I just referenced) in the next week. If they should make an offer, I will then say “I could not be more excited to accept a job with your company, but I do want to let you know that I will be getting married in October and will need a few days off.” I think once they make an offer and are personally invested in you, they’re likely to be accomodating.
Post # 13
@MsJ2theZ: Yes, but just be careful. I did this and my boss said it was no problem, but then she went insane when I got back and punished me for taking time off. She is certifiably insane and I quit, but just be careful!
Post # 14
I’m not a lawyer but I’m pretty sure it’s only illegal/discriminatory to expressly ask you if you are married/getting married. If you offer up the info in an interview, that’s on you. I’m very cautious not to say anything about my personal life in interviews bc you just never know how they’ll take something and use it as a reason not to hire you.
Post # 15
One girl who used to work with me had her wedding and honeymoon planned for about a month or so after she started. The bosses were fine with her taking her time off for the wedding – although I’m not entirely sure she got paid for the time off due to the fact that she hadn’t been there very long.
I’m pretty sure she didn’t mention anything about it until after she was hired. I’d avoid any mention of it until you get an offer.
Post # 16
@renwoman: I highly recommend not informing your prospective employer until after you start working there.
My husband was in a similiar situation, except our wedding was 3 months away. He was unemployed and FINALLY was offered a position. He waited until after he started working there and brought it up to his employer the week he started. FYI, June was our wedding month and summer is an extremely busy season for them. In addition he was a manager in training for 6 months. His employer didn’t give him any grief for it and just thanked him for informing them so they could plan accordingly.
However, we only did a weekend getaway and planned our honeymoon for 7 months after our wedding due to his work and my graduate school schedules.