(Closed) Anxiety??

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
5978 posts
Bee Keeper

Feel free to continue writing on here about your fears and your feelings. I think the more that you get them out in the open, the more you’re going to feel better about them. I also commend you for recognizing that you should be talking with someone about this, and that’s where you’ll be able to let go of the abandonment feelings and feel comfortable in your situation.

Though you did have a lot of loss when you were younger and even as you grew older within your family, try to keep in mind that your FI has been brought into your life for a reason. His family has welcomed you in like another family member, and I think that’s fantastic! I wish you and your FI many happy years together…but definitely make sure you continue with the counseling. Over the long run, you’ll be able to learn how to talk yourself out of the anxiety and enjoy your wedding day!

Post # 4
Member
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

First of all, you are doing all the right things.  You realize why you feel this way, that’s it’s irrational, and you’re getting help.  Great job!  Keep doing what you’re doing!

And second – although I am not a big pill person, I don’t like using drugs to cure the problem – has your doctor/therapist prescribed anything for you?  I had major anxiety problems for awhile and Ativan helped me a lot.  I only used it temporarily and have not used it in years.  But it might be nice to have on hand for your wedding day.

Post # 5
Member
683 posts
Busy bee

I’m glad you’re seeing someone. I’m sure you already know- but this is time to nurture that mind-body connection. You should make sure you’re working out, taking vitamin B, meditating, etc. If you do something for yourself everyday, it reminds you to calm your nerves, quiet the negative thought loops, etc.

One day at a time sister! You’ll get through this and we are here for you!

Post # 6
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

I feel like I keep spruiking this book on these threads, I promise I’m not the author or publisher or anything, but I do feel like this book helped save my relationship in many ways so if it works for other people that would be great. It’s called The Conscious Bride, it’s about anxiety around weddings and engagement (in the absence of any ‘red flags’ in a relationship) and I’m sure there’s a chapter or two that deals with what you are feeling. In the meantime, as you know you are doing everything right 🙂 All the best!

Post # 7
Member
2083 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think you definitely did the right thing by seeing someone about it and by even just opening up about it. Why you would feel that way is completely understandable – but at the same time I hope that you will find a way to turn your feelings of fear into just fully embracing the fact that you are about to officially enter into a family.

This reminds me a bit of my FIL – he lost his dad, his mom, and his sister all in the same year. His dad died of liver failure and his mom and sister both died of cancer. It had to of been devastating. He has his sister’s son that we occassionally go and visit, but for the most part my MIL’s family IS his family. I’m sure it still gets to him that on the holidays and stuff that he doesn’t have his side of the family to share it with, but I’m assuming he must have hit a turning point somewhere where he chose to embrace MIL’s family as equally his own.

 

 

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