- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
I am feeling like a crazy person right now, and I think I’m probably overthinking things and need to just let myself feel whatever I’m feeling and take some time to adjust. That said, I am a stresser and an over-analyzer and am having trouble not being those things!!
My Fiance and I have been long distance for over a year. We’ve seen each other for visits of up two two weeks during that time, and I just moved back to the state where we met and will be living. I’ve been soooo excited about it, but I’m also a homebody and have always struggled leaving my family. I did it before for 3+ years, but it was hard every time a visit ended, and leaving for good knowing I was getting married and starting my own family made it even harder. The homesickness has been fine on my trip here, but my brother, who drove with me, is leaving today, and I’m getting sad and anxious all over again. And then I’m anxious that I’m feeling anxious! I feel like I should just be happy to be with my Fiance again! And I am, but I’m also worried. It just feels weird, I guess, after being apart for so long, and we only got a few hours together yesterday, which was mostly moving stuff in and spending time with his family. I guess I’m just wishing I felt more excited about starting my new life. I am, but I’m worried about my anxiety and that it might “mean” something more. I haven’t had major doubts about marrying him, and I love thinking about our life together, but I’m stressed about finding a job, making friends in a new city, being away from my family again, etc. etc. etc.
I really hope I just need time to adjust and that I’ll be feeling more confident as we spend more time together. We were together for 3 years before going long distance, so it’s not like we’ve never been together, and we had been talking about engagement a long time before it happened. It just feels strange to finally be here, and to be marrying someone I haven’t seen for more than a week or two at a time in over a year!