Post # 1
I am very attached to my maiden name since I am very close to my dad. I have always liked my name as-is, and since I have a very unique first name, I have never heard it with any other last name than my maiden name.
I wouldn’t change my name (and Darling Husband wouldn’t mind) but I want the same last name as our kids, who will have DH’s last name.
My “solution” was to change my name to Jane (first) Mary (original middle) Doe (maiden name) Smith (married name). It would be legally written Jane Mary Doe Smith, but short hand would be Jane Smith.
Our kids would get the “Smith” last name, not “Doe Smith”.
I’d feel bad losing my original middle name as it’s my mother’s first name.
Do you think it’s too wordy even if I’m planning on just writing “Jane Smith” on most things and then using the full name for legal documents? Or am I just worried for no reason?
Post # 3
A friend of mine had this same issue, so her name was, for example, Mary Paige Smith, so when she got married, she changed her name to Mary P. Smith Taylor. Maybe you could just use the first initial.
Post # 4
I’ll be the last person withlast maiden last nameitin my lineage. Only child, only grandchild and on and on. I plan to legally change my last name to his but when signing things and professionally I’m going to hyphonate and then phase it out after a few years.
They only reason I won’t keep it is from discussing with parents who have kids I school that teachers just assume the parents are divorced because of the two last name thing.
We also are planning on if we ever have a little boy my maiden name will be his middle name.
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2017 - Vegas Wedings
When you say “I want the same last name as our kids” does that mean you want the same legal name as them or that you want people to call both of you by the same last name? These are actually different.
Im work in the biomedical research field where women cant really change their name at work/ on CV’s as that is what is on papers they have published; my current/ maiden name is on various papers and if I change my name it will be hard to show and prove what I have published = my accomplishments. This is true is other fields of work. My H.S. boyfriend’s mom was a professor and didnt change her legal name and at work she went by her maiden name. Family, friends and those of us at church used her married name. Some would consider this confusing but it isnt. Honestly. Its far more common than people think, especially when you have fairly seperate social circles.
Just food for thought.
Post # 6
I’m a 5 namer now :). I didn’t want to lose my middle name (which is 2 names already!) and I couldn’t “get rid of” my maiden last name as my dad has only girls and wouldn’t allow it. It’s your name, do what makes you happy!
Post # 7
@Kenic315: Hmm, thanks for that idea. I was thinking that when writing on legal documents, to shorten it I could write Jane M.D. Smith to still include everything. I’ll look into that!
@Ice Skate: My parents were divorced so my mom would always get annoyed when they used Mrs. Mylastname when she changed her name after the divorce. I want to preserve my maiden name while still being happy with my married name. I like it – it’s just so hard to get used to!
@Beautiful Bluegrass: I’d like to have the same legal last name as our kids. If we have a son, Darling Husband wants to name the baby after himself, which I totally respect. If he didn’t want that, I wouldn’t be changing my name.
I did think about the social vs legal aspect of the name change, but I definitely want DH’s last name legally. Socially, people call me Mrs. Hislastname now and while it sounds weird, I don’t mind it at all…. since that’s ultimately what I want anyway! 🙂 Thanks for your input!
Post # 8
@yellowshoe: Ooh, interesting! On legal documents (tax purposes, etc) how do you write out your name, if you don’t mind me asking? That’s the pickle I’m in – I don’t know how I would write it. I honestly don’t care what it looks like on my SS card haha
Post # 9
I felt the same way…I decided to change my middle name So I’m First Maiden Last and go by First Last.
Post # 10
@MrsConnick: That is what I am doing too! But that could just be because my middle name is nothing special, and my dad is very important to me (plus we only have my nephew to carry on the family name so I will carry it proudly!)
Post # 11
Have your Fiance change his name.
Post # 12
@kala_way: We talked about that, but Darling Husband is a Jr and wants his son to be Darling Husband III. If he were to change his name, we couldn’t continue on the family name he was looking to name our son. I’d be thrilled if he wanted my last name! lol
Post # 13
I feel the same. So I have decided to keep my maiden name. Our future kids will have DH’s last name.
I also loved the idea of having Darling Husband change his last name to mine. He loves my last name. But he also loves his full name too
Post # 14
@shimmerofheaven: Just like you said. Jane Smith (DH’s last name). When signing my name for legal documents I used to always write out all my names, now I just put the letters so it’s Jane A. B. C. Smith. But for day by day things, credit cards, etc. I am just Jane Smith. I know, my SS card needs 2 lines to fit all my names. It’s funny, but sad. I was just like you, I wanted to have the same last name as my future kids, but I couldn’t “get rid” of my maiden last name. So this works for me.
Post # 15
if you love your maiden, then add a middle! my husband has two middle name so while it can be annoying when filling out forms for flying (because the two middle initials don’t work) i think it would be fine legally and socially!
Post # 16
I’m not changing my maiden name at all. If we have kids we´ll put both of our last names after our kids first name, very often done here in south america.
I just think that changing your last name to his is just too old fashioned for me and not on anymore in these modern times. Perhaps socially I may do it, as in have thank you cards for the gifts with his name after mine, but definetely not legally, no way! Too much fuss!