(Closed) Anxiety about name change – what would you do?

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: If you felt the same way I do, what would you choose your legal married name to be?
    Do what you want! - Jane Mary Doe Smith : (79 votes)
    75 %
    Too wordy! Cut out your original middle name - Jane Doe Smith : (11 votes)
    10 %
    Take the plunge and leave out your maiden name! - Jane Mary Smith : (13 votes)
    12 %
    Other - explain below : (2 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    685 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    A friend of mine had this same issue, so her name was, for example, Mary Paige Smith, so when she got married, she changed her name to Mary P. Smith Taylor.  Maybe you could just use the first initial.

    Post # 4
    190 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I’ll be the last person withlast maiden last nameitin my lineage. Only child, only grandchild and on and on. I plan to legally change my last name to his but when signing things and professionally I’m going to hyphonate and then phase it out after a few years. 

    They only reason I won’t keep it is from discussing with parents who have kids I school that teachers just assume the parents are divorced because of the two last name thing. 

    We also are planning on if we ever have a little boy my maiden name will be his middle name. 

    Post # 5
    663 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2017 - Vegas Wedings

    When you say “I want the same last name as our kids” does that mean you want the same legal name as them or that you want people to call both of you by the same last name? These are actually different.

    Im work in the biomedical research field where women cant really change their name at work/ on CV’s as that is what is on papers they have published; my current/ maiden name is on various papers and if I change my name it will be hard to show and prove what I have published = my accomplishments. This is true is other fields of work. My H.S. boyfriend’s mom was a professor and didnt change her legal name and at work she went by her maiden name. Family, friends and those of us at church used her married name. Some would consider this confusing but it isnt. Honestly. Its far more common than people think, especially when you have fairly seperate social circles.

    Just food for thought.

    Post # 6
    3618 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I’m a 5 namer now :). I didn’t want to lose my middle name (which is 2 names already!) and I couldn’t “get rid of” my maiden last name as my dad has only girls and wouldn’t allow it. It’s your name, do what makes you happy!

    Post # 9
    418 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I felt the same way…I decided to change my middle name So I’m First Maiden Last and go by First Last.

    Post # 10
    1811 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    @MrsConnick:  That is what I am doing too!  But that could just be because my middle name is nothing special, and my dad is very important to me (plus we only have my nephew to carry on the family name so I will carry it proudly!)

    Post # 11
    3978 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    Have your Fiance change his name.

    Post # 13
    2702 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I feel the same. So I have decided to keep my maiden name. Our future kids will have DH’s last name.

    I also loved the idea of having Darling Husband change his last name to mine. He loves my last name. But he also loves his full name too

    Post # 14
    3618 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    @shimmerofheaven:  Just like you said. Jane Smith (DH’s last name). When signing my name for legal documents I used to always write out all my names, now I just put the letters so it’s Jane A. B. C. Smith. But for day by day things, credit cards, etc. I am just Jane Smith. I know, my SS card needs 2 lines to fit all my names. It’s funny, but sad. I was just like you, I wanted to have the same last name as my future kids, but I couldn’t “get rid” of my maiden last name. So this works for me.

    Post # 15
    769 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    if you love your maiden, then add a middle! my husband has two middle name so while it can be annoying when filling out forms for flying (because the two middle initials don’t work) i think it would be fine legally and socially!

    Post # 16
    533 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I’m not changing my maiden name at all. If we have kids we´ll put both of our last names after our kids first name, very often done here in south america.

    I just think that changing your last name to his is just too old fashioned for me and not on anymore in these modern times. Perhaps socially I may do it, as in have thank you cards for the gifts with his name after mine, but definetely not legally, no way! Too much fuss!


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