Weddingbee boards

Anyone else freaking out about having to dress up and be the center of attention and have photos taken?

I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner, but I hate putting on a dress (particularly a strapless one), and being around huge crowds, and above all, having my photo taken.  I guess when I was planning everything, I thought that on my wedding day none of that would matter.  But it's three weeks away and I am having panic attacks.  Can't catch my breath and am avoiding people even now because they make me feel worse.  I had my hair and makeup trial this weekend and seeing myself all done up was such a letdown that I am looking forward to all this even less.  I can't wait to be married but I feel like right now the wedding is something I am going to have to medicate myself to get through in one piece.  Instead of going to my own wedding, I feel like I want to stay home alone that day in sweats watching movies.

Is this normal?

No one!?  Rapidly feeling worse...!

I am really sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. I can totally sympathize with the way you feel. I used to have horrible social anxiety...couldn't go out anywhere by myself, really froze at meeting new people, would lie about why I couldn't attend parties etc. Over the years I have learned to work myself thru these anxiety's. 

I don't know if it will work for you but what I have found for a long time is that if I can just go in and fake it for a little while then the real anxiety starts to fade and it starts to become natural. I start to enjoy myself with out even realizing it. I know this seems simple but it really does work. You start to forget that you were even afraid to begin with. 

This probably isn't much help but at least you know there are others of us out there that are feeling the same way.

I hope you find some peace before the big day.

JENN

Yeah, I have dealt with anxiety issues in the past and have sought professional help.  I really thought I was past it, but the wedding is bringing up all these challenges and issues with self-consciousness again.  I felt the same way at my shower.  Even though I had a dress picked out, I was out the door at the crack of dawn the morning of the party to find something else to wear.   I was finally dressed and in the car but realized my bra was showing, starting overreacting, and in the end I ended up wearing some old dress.  By the time I settled on something, I was running so late from having completely fallen apart that I was putting on my makeup in the car.  I gulped down two glasses of wine when I got there to get through it.  My biggest fear is that I will have a morning just like that for the wedding, but it's not like I can throw on a different outfit and run out the door.

I had really wanted a small wedding, but because my parents are hosting it, it exploded and is going to huge, which adds to it a little bit.

I should probably tap into my old resources at this point.

Thanks for responding.

Jocelyn, I am totally with you. I am anxious about everything going off without a hitch, without mistakes, without me forgetting to order/do/say something (etc.). I was in theater when I was younger and even THAT didn't make me as nervous as this does. Don't worry, even if we DO mess up something on our special days, people won't care (it's our weddings and even if they do care, they should just smile and nod!). :)

We'll be fine - just breathe deeply and think calm thoughts.

Best of Luck!

-Bella

Thank you everyone.

My mom and my fiance have also been pretty good about this.  It helps to know I can talk to them.

I agree with the mention of Xanax. I take a low dose of Ativan as needed for anxiety - A lot of people are quick to say nasty things about anti-anxiety/anti-depressant pills, but if you're really worked up about it, it can't hurt (of course try it some other day before the wedding to make sure you don't react/fall asleep!) I'm also nervous - I'm concerned about being the center of attention! I have 10 months though so hopefully Ill be chilled out :) Let us know how it goes and if you have any questions about any medications let me know.. Unfortunately my anxiety got crazy the past few months and I did A LOT of research, hehe. Be well! 

If I take a Xanax, though, I won't be able to drink and I would like to have a glass of champagne at my wedding.

The other alternative is to start drinking early...

I jest.

Ohhh that's a good point, Jocelyn!

Hmmm.

Well, on one hand.. a glass of champagne a little earlier may loosen you up! ;)

I know lots of brides that have had mimosas the morning of...!! 

Well - You know you can do this!! Hopefully the excitement and happiness will override any of the nervous anxiety, and you can shake it off! 

jocelyn3476

Wow you took the words out of my mouth. This is how it went down with me. I have NEVER worn anything strapless (or even with spaghetti straps), I HATE being the center of attention, I HATE to have my picture taken and a few days before the wedding I realized all this. Flash forward to my wedding day... I got over it. As soon as the dress was on and I realized that I was surrounded by people I loved all the anxiety melted away. I am not joking my hubby and I didn't even want to do a first dance because we didn't want people looking at us instead we opted for the hookey pockey with the bridal party. If he and I were able to get over the anxiety of people looking at us then I think you can too.  Our wedding day was amazing and I don't remember ever feeling like people were staring at us in a negative manner. We even thought it was going to be weird having photogaphers following us but it was actually pretty fun. I hope everything turns out amazing in your wedding. Enjoy it because after all its your day and you get to marry the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. 

Thanks Sweetheart and Sweet Tooth.