Post # 1
Anyone else freaking out about having to dress up and be the center of attention and have photos taken?
I don’t know why I didn’t think of this sooner, but I hate putting on a dress (particularly a strapless one), and being around huge crowds, and above all, having my photo taken. I guess when I was planning everything, I thought that on my wedding day none of that would matter. But it’s three weeks away and I am having panic attacks. Can’t catch my breath and am avoiding people even now because they make me feel worse. I had my hair and makeup trial this weekend and seeing myself all done up was such a letdown that I am looking forward to all this even less. I can’t wait to be married but I feel like right now the wedding is something I am going to have to medicate myself to get through in one piece. Instead of going to my own wedding, I feel like I want to stay home alone that day in sweats watching movies.
Is this normal?
Post # 3
No one!? Rapidly feeling worse…!
Post # 4
I am really sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. I can totally sympathize with the way you feel. I used to have horrible social anxiety…couldn’t go out anywhere by myself, really froze at meeting new people, would lie about why I couldn’t attend parties etc. Over the years I have learned to work myself thru these anxiety’s.
I don’t know if it will work for you but what I have found for a long time is that if I can just go in and fake it for a little while then the real anxiety starts to fade and it starts to become natural. I start to enjoy myself with out even realizing it. I know this seems simple but it really does work. You start to forget that you were even afraid to begin with.
This probably isn’t much help but at least you know there are others of us out there that are feeling the same way.
I hope you find some peace before the big day.
Post # 5
I’m an anxious person by nature, but I think with you it might affect your wedding day. Do you usually have anxiety about social situations (public speaking, parties)? I think you should speak to your physician or even a counselor… I think they can definitely help you withyor anxiety.
Don’t worry… you’ll get through this!
Post # 6
Yeah, I have dealt with anxiety issues in the past and have sought professional help. I really thought I was past it, but the wedding is bringing up all these challenges and issues with self-consciousness again. I felt the same way at my shower. Even though I had a dress picked out, I was out the door at the crack of dawn the morning of the party to find something else to wear. I was finally dressed and in the car but realized my bra was showing, starting overreacting, and in the end I ended up wearing some old dress. By the time I settled on something, I was running so late from having completely fallen apart that I was putting on my makeup in the car. I gulped down two glasses of wine when I got there to get through it. My biggest fear is that I will have a morning just like that for the wedding, but it’s not like I can throw on a different outfit and run out the door.
I had really wanted a small wedding, but because my parents are hosting it, it exploded and is going to huge, which adds to it a little bit.
I should probably tap into my old resources at this point.
Thanks for responding.
Post # 7
I’m scared about walking down the aisle, I’m scared my voice won’t work when saying my vows, scared of the first dance… I have so much anxiety already for this day…
I just don’t do well in front of large crowds. You’re not alone!!!
Post # 8
So sorry to hear you’re having a tough time with anxiety… I can totally relate, I’ve been there many times at various determining points in my life. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed when such an important event is just around the corner…
So, my best advice would be: DEFINITELY tap on to those resources! Talk to anyone you feel will be able to empathize with what you’re going through, maybe they can help you with some of the details that may be demanding your attention right now. And focus on what’s most important to you, and most important, on your well being!
And I agree with sunnyprincess, if you feel like this “big wedding” situation may be too much, talk to a physician or psychologist, there are some extremely efficient “emergency” meds that may be of help during these last weeks.
Best of luck! And please let us know how it goes!
Post # 9
Sorry to hear about your anxiety. I was the exact same way… for WEEKS before my wedding! I was a total anti-bride and got crankier and crankier as the wedding approached. My husband and I got married a few weeks ago (Sept. 5th), and I can now say I LOVED MY WEDDING! I don’t know what I was so anxious about. I was anxious about all the little details during the planning process, but on the day of there’s just so much going on, and all the people you love there for me, that I found I was way too distracted to worry or notice the details. And somehow it all just comes together. My anxiety peaked right before I walked down the aisle – I started trembling and had to work hard to breath, but once I got to the end of the aisle and got all the tears out, it was smooth sailing from there. I know you probably have loads of people telling you to stop worrying. I won’t tell you that because I know from experience that it’s impossible not to worry. But I hope you take comfort in knowing my story, that despite the worry and anxiety it is possible to have the most fabulous worry-free day every. Best of luck!
Post # 10
Jocelyn, I am totally with you. I am anxious about everything going off without a hitch, without mistakes, without me forgetting to order/do/say something (etc.). I was in theater when I was younger and even THAT didn’t make me as nervous as this does. Don’t worry, even if we DO mess up something on our special days, people won’t care (it’s our weddings and even if they do care, they should just smile and nod!). 🙂
We’ll be fine – just breathe deeply and think calm thoughts.
Best of Luck!
Post # 11
I am feeling similar. Only 13 days, and getting anxious- feel like everyone will think my hair and makeup don’t look right, that my dress isn’t right, that I look fat, etc. Don’t like being the center of attention. Wishing my fiance would walk up the aisle with me so it wouldn’t be so much focus on me. Dreading the pictures- I really want to have nice pictures but worried we won’t look good in them. (Fiance gets nervous in front of the camera and makes goofy faces, and I never seem to look good.) Wishing it were smaller (110 people). Part of me thinks the sweats and just hanging out would be more fun.
Post # 12
I can totally relate. It’s a small relief to know that I’m not the only one that feels this way! I guess I’m not what people would consider the “typical” bride, because if I had my way, I would be running off to Mexico and having a small destination wedding. However, my fiance is really the one that wants a traditional wedding, so I’m pretty much stuck with that. I hate crowds and being the center of attention.
I would honestly recommend seeing a doctor about it, and maybe getting a small prescription for an anti-anxiety med like Xanax. I know that might be blunt advice, but honestly, being told to just calm down and relax does not really work for people like us that have deeper anxiety issues than the typical bride. I’m sure you want to feel as comfortable as possible on your day, and I’m sure getting something from a doctor will really help to take the edge off. Good luck!
Post # 13
oh i’m dreading the wedding for that reason! can’t wait to be married but i don’t like to be center of attention so i never wanted a wedding, i’m doing it for him. and it’s even going to be very small, but any people is still too big for me. i try to take my mind off of it by doing wedding things that i enjoy, like crafting and diy.
Post # 14
I totally understand what you are going through. I’m freaking about it and I still have lots of time to go before the big day! I hate being the center of attention and having everybody look at me. I don’t like being in large crowds and having to talk to people. I am not good at making small talk and get nervous around people, especially people I haven’t seen in a while. And I’m really nervous things won’t turn out. Now that I’m thinking about all this stuff, it’s making me even more nervous.
I didn’t want a big wedding, I just wanted to elope but my FI loves entertaining and being around lots of people and being the center of attention so he wanted to have the big wedding with lots of guests so that’s why I’m doing the whole wedding thing. Plus, my mom convinced me that I would want to have the big wedding to look back on and if I didn’t have one, I would regret it later.
Post # 15
I am pretty much freaking out right now. I’m getting married on Saturday and I’m a wreck. I don’t know why! I never thought I would be like this. I am not nervous at all about getting married. I’m pretty sure my dad will be dragging me down the aisle because I am going to forget how to walk.
I just keep trying to take deep breaths…
Post # 16
I posted about this exact same thing last week at some point. I’m totally with you on this. I have anxiety issues in general and I’m dreading “the day.” Well, really just the ceremony part where it’s an all eyes on me situation and I have to speak, etc. The reception I just get to drink and dance and eat, so I’d kind of just like to get to that part! Our ceremony is going to be like 15 minutes long too because I insisted it be as short as possible. We’re not doing a religious ceremony, not writing vows, etc. He wanted to but I told him it was not going to happen because I just couldn’t do it. No way.
You’ll get through it but I totally feel you and it sucks when it’s something you want to be excited about but instead you’re just a nervous wreck. HUGS!