Post # 1
I’ve always been an anxious person and a total pessimist, so of course pregnancy is driving me batshit crazy with worry. Every cramp and twinge has me running to the bathroom to check for bleeding, and every single time, I’m convinced that this is going to be it. To make matters worse, I found out tonight that my sister in law is also expecting… With pretty much the same due date as me. Now all I can think about is how I’m going to feel if I lose this baby and have to watch her go through all the milestones that I should be going through.
So… I’m not really sure what I’m looking for here. Maybe just a vent. But does anyone else get this sort of anxiety? How do you get through it?
Post # 3
@KatieBklyn: I’m not pregnant yet, but I do have a general anxiety disorder and I am worried that I’ll be going through the same thing. My best guess would be to find some one or some place (like here) to talk about your feelings to. Keeping things pent up in side always makes me feel worse by the hour.
I hope you start feeling better soon, though, and that you’ll be able to enjoy your pregnancy!
Post # 4
@KatieBklyn: try to focus on the positive things happening now or else you’re going to miss them worrying about something that might not happen. You can’t predict or control the future so try and practice mindfulness. Meditation, yoga and deep breathing and positive affirmations are all great ways to manage your anxiety.
some level of anxiety is normal but it sounds like yours is outside the realm of typical. Anxiety and worry isn’t good for you or baby. I’d bring up your anxiety with your doctor if you don’t think you can control it yourself.
Post # 5
@KatieBklyn: Watch out–anxiety and depression are actually alarmingly common during pregnancy! It’s talked about WAY less than PPD, but a very significant number of women suffer from it!
My best advice would be to make sure you’re eating healthy and getting plenty of exercise (both of which have been shown to help alleviate depression and anxiety symptoms), and if you feel like it’s interfering in your day-to-day existence, DEFINITELY talk to your OB about it! They might suggest counseling or medication, if it’s very severe.
Post # 6
@GooteyBootey: Thanks! It’s ridiculous, I spent the five days before my BFP being totally convinced that I would never get pregnant… And then boom, positive test. And I’ve spent the six days since that test totally convinced that I will miscarry. If I remove myself a bit, it just seems silly – obviously I cannot trust my gut at all. I also thought I would never get married (wrong) and that I failed the bar exam (wrong) and basically every doomsday scenario I can create in my head doesn’t happen in the end… But when I remind myself of all that, it’s like a little voice says, “Yes, you’ve been so lucky… Don’t you think it’s time for that luck to run out?” Argh.
@MrsWBS: Mindfulness is definitely a skill I need to work on. I have been meaning to start doing yoga… I think that is really a great idea. Thanks! And yeah, I try to remind myself that it’s not like if I just enjoy being pregnant, that joy will trigger a miscarriage. I dont think there is really any sort of cosmic irony machine that looks down and says, “Haha, she’s finally happy! Terminate that pregnancy! Haha, got ‘er!” I have to keep remembering that – even if this doesn’t end in the way I’d hoped, I’ve still gotten to experience something I never thought I would. That’s pretty amazing.
@BrandNewBride: Thanks! Yes, I’m actually eating healthier than ever and making sure to get a lot of walking in. I’m already taking Prozac, which is great for depression but doesn’t do much for anxiety… At least not for me. But yes, at least healthy food and exercise makes me feel like at least I know I’m doing everything I can for my baby and myself!
Post # 7
This is my second and I’m the same way. I don’t have anxiety usually but when pregnant I’m So worried. Every single I time I got to the restroom I can’t help looking at the toilet paper and always expect to see blood. It’s insane. Also every sharp pain freaks me out, picking up my 4 year old scares me….it’s horrible. Once I start feeling the baby regularly I settle down a bit though. I’m sure you will be fine!!
Post # 8
@KatieBklyn: Hello, are you me? I’m exactly the same. Absolutely terrified and anxious. Checking the loo paper every single time. Rushing to the loo if I feel any wetness in my underwear. I’ve already seen or rung my doctor 4 times since we found out I was pregnant – approx 2 weeks ago. I’m around 7 weeks and I fret if I’m not having enough symptoms (I’m not sure what enough is, but I worry I’m not anyway). I’m terrified of having a missed miscarriage, even though I’m not sure what it is because I promised my husband I would stop googling. I had anxiety pre-pregnancy anyway, although it was pretty well under control and had been for months. I’m just glad I see my therapist once a week, because it helps me to get all my worries off my chest and she helps me rationalise them. I know I need to let go of the control I’m trying to exert, but man it’s hard. I really feel for you.
Post # 9
@KatieBklyn: i am not generally an anxious person but being pregnant comes with a lot of anxiety. In the beginning it is the fear of miscarriage. The middle is ok but now starting around 27w (I’m 35 now) I have worried about him moving. If he has a quiet day, I’m convinced he’s not alive. I have this thought once a day at least. I have extra monitoring- twice a week non stress tests- which I think have saved my sanity.
All that to say what you’re feeling is very common. In the early stages, I just told myself “i an not bleeding so I’m fine.” it will (most likely!) be ok.
Congrats & try to enjoy this time!
Post # 10
@KatieBklyn: If you’re already on Prozac I would talk to whoever prescribes your medication about what’s going on. When I saw a psychiatrist for meds, I also saw a therapist in the same office. If the meds come from your primary care doc I would look into seeing a specialist.
I’m sorry you’re feeling like this. I was miserable with my first pregnancy and wish I had asked for help. With the next pregnancy I was taking meds and going to therapy. This time for me, I’ve been without medication for almost a year and am still good. So, the anxiety might not be like this for you in every pregnancy at least.
Post # 11
Maybe it’s all the alarmist crazy-making articles and advice. The ‘don’t eat’ food lists alone are terrifing. It’s objecitvly a crap time to be pregnant. They used to just say ‘don’t drink’ and off you went. (and by then you were at least already at 6 weeks, no early testing). Now it feels like they know ENOUGH to just issue blanket warnings but not enough to actually empower us to do much. I was watching the local news the other day. The head of Gyno at a top local hospital has ‘groundbreaking new research’ about phthalates and how they are linked to preterm birth. The lady interviewing him was like ‘oh so what are these in and how can we avoid them?’ (she had had 2 premie babies) He was like ‘oh they are in everything and they are not required to be labled. Literally anything that has a smell may have them in there’ So she looks at him and asks “well if you are at home and 20 weeks pregnant what can you do then?” and he says. “Stay tuned, the research is really just starting. We should know more in a few years”. You could just see on her face the ‘well that certainly doesn’t help us NOW does it’. It’s a combo of information getting out and spread SUPER fast and science just not moving that fast. The gap creates all sort of crazy panic. I read they tested kids who’s mothers avoided fish entirely and the outcomes were WORSE then the kids that the mothers ate more fish then is recomended. Omega 3s are necessary for brain deveolpement, Mercury sucks, but not as bad as starving the brain. It’s just the culture now. They know 1 thing, jerk wildly in a direction, that proves to be horrible and they jerk wildly in another direction. Like a 14 year old driving on ice.
Sorry, that was my personal rant. In day to day life I find the counter to be actively planning for things to go right. (I tend to avoid that because I don’t want to get my hopes up- I’m already at 11 weeks btw). But husband and I looking at toys and clothes. Talking about books for the baby and how cute my dog will be with a baby. That seems to directly counter the anxiety. I think buying some things after 12 weeks will be good for us. Also he is 1000% sure everything will be fine. That helps a lot.
Post # 12
@KatieBklyn: I’m so glad you made this post…although my anxiety is more selfish…I worry about myself being in critical condition or dying during pregnancy or severe medical complications….
My want for a baby and a family outweighs my anxiety…although I will 100% have anxiety the whole pregnancy.
I have health anxiety/Hypochondria…so pregnancy should be interesting.
ETA: I see a therapist on Saturdays and he’s aware of my issues and we’ve been working on ways to neutralize my thoughts and make them just thoughts, not worries…it’s kinda working, I have my bad days. I have GAD, but it’s minimal.
Post # 13
I was never one to be really anxious prior to pregnancy, but as soon as I got that BFP it kicked in big time. I don’t think I ever really believed I would hold my baby… I was always waiting for something horrible to happen. Even at like 38 weeks when my C-Section was scheduled I was convinced something was going to go horribly wrong. Well, I have a perfectly healthy 11 week old, so all my worrying did was stress me out for no reason. In the end, all it did was keep me from enjoying parts of my pregnancy. All of the anxiety and worry wouldn’t have helped if anything did go wrong.
I would definitely talk to your OB about it. I didn’t, and then when the post-partum hormones hit (and they are 100x worse than pregnancy) the overwhelming anxiety that comes with having a newborn hit me like a ton a bricks. I called my OB after panic attacks and tandom fits of crying, neither of which I was used to. I was diagnosed with PPD, though I feel it’s more PPA (Post Partum Anxiety) then depression. I was prescribed medication and am feeling like my old self again. I think if I talked to my OB about my anxiety during pregnancy they would have known to watch me closely post-partum, and we could have been proactive to prevent the PPD/PPA getting as bad as it did.
Good Luck, OP! I wish you a happy pregnancy 🙂
Post # 14
@keesl: I really think that has a lot to do with it! I keep like, reading all of these scary things (like, should I be avoiding canned tomato because of BPA?) and spending way too much time on Internet sites about miscarriage and infertility…. I really think I need to create more of an information bubble around me. I know the basics – no booze, no smoking, no raw eggs – and I think it would be smart for me to just stop googling “comprehensive list of things that might go wrong in pregnancy” and “mild cramp miscarriage???!!?!”
Post # 15
I think it’s somewhat normal to become more anxious during pregnancy. It’s probably the start of the mommy instincts and desire to protect your LO. It’s also hard to not become anxious because you have almost no control over what is happening. If it is interfering with your day to day life, I would speak to your doctor.
Post # 16
@KatieBklyn: I did the exact same thing with canned tomato. At least it’s winter and everything gets heated usually anyway (for listeria and such). I can’t imagine in the summer. I stopped grabbing reciepts and my husband looked at me and rubbed one on his face. He’s a good source of anti-worry.