Post # 1
Hi All, I am beginning the struggle with anxiety for my wedding that is still 16 months away. It keeps picking at me and is making me concerned for when we get closer. As a background I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, panic attacks and social anxiety disorder. I get really anxious before events that I am the centre of attention and have a panic attack/can’t sleep/vomit etc.
I am on medication for it and am under doctor supervision but being the bride is making me very anxious. The thing is that I want to have a full wedding (80 people so not so large). I do not want to let my anxiety get in the way of having the wedding I want.
If I downgraded and eloped I would regret it. I just want to not be so anxious that I make myself sick for my wedding and ruin it for myself.
Any other bees out there with similar issues? Any advice on how to deal with anxiety and a wedding?
Post # 3
I also have GAD, but not to the degree you do. I’m on medication and in therapy though. I’d recommend inviting only people you’re close to and comfortable around. You might want to make the wedding guest list even smaller, if 80 is still daunting.
Talk with your doctor and if you’re in therapy, talk to your therapist. Your therapist can help you prepare for the moment during the next 16 months.
In terms of planning, remember to delegate tasks! Let your fiance take some of the work off your shoulders so you don’t get overwhelmed! <3 loves of hugs
Post # 4
Keep it simple and easy with as many all inclusive vendors as you can. I use to suffer from more severe anxiety issues (with therapy I am now off medication and on vitamins) and my biggest concern is my inlaws so my mom will be playing buffer to make sure no one gets in my personal space physicaly or mentaly. Keep the people who know and understand close and have them as a team. Give out tasks like your best friend deals with the caterer (I have a hard time with comunication which is why I still dont have my photographer nailed down). Good luck and if this board helps then keep on using it.
Post # 5
Since you’re already on medication and under a doctor’s care, I’d go to the doctor for advice ASAP. You might bring a list of issues you are expecting to face around/during the wedding (I know I always seem to forget something when I’m actually sitting in front of the doctor, lol). They probably have tons of other patients who have gone through the same thing, and since they already know you personally, they will be familiar with your personality and situation. I think talking to a professional who believes in you may help set your mind at ease and make you feel more confident. They can probably also help you come up with plans for coping with stress related to the wedding, and help you focus on enjoying the planning instead of becoming more and more anxious.
You also might look for support groups (online or in person) for people with social anxiety, to find people who have been there and can give you advice and pep talks.
Post # 6
could it be possible to have a ceremony, just you, Fiance, your parents, close friends, followed by an epic (i.e. 80 people total) party? That way not everyone is looking at you! You still have the “wedding” aspect without eloping, but there’s less pressure? Just an idea.
Post # 7
I am currently experiencing the same, so I empathize. I have severe panic disorder. Had two panic attacks at my own graduation (albeit, there were 2,000 people watching me then!!!) I am so terrified of having a panic attack/passing out at my wedding, that my stomach is in constant knots and I am barely sleeping as the time draws near. We’ve got like 52 days to go and I am a mess! We’re only expecting around 60 guests, but to me, it might as well be 3000! I am hoping it won’t be so bad because it’s just our family. Unfortunately, I have to consider my wedding is on a beach and there will be spectators. The venue can do nothing to stop this. Sighh.
I wish you the best of luck. Hopefully your meds will take the edge off. Are you on an SSRI medication or benzos? If you haven’t got them already, ask for a Xanax for that day… or a valium. Sometimes, even though you’re on an SSRI (like Paxil, Zoloft, Lexapro, etc.) you might need a benzo to back it up in the heat of the moment.
Post # 8
I understand you are on medication, but I promise therapy works, especially for social anxiety! Check around to see if there is a major university in your area.. if they have a clinical psychology program they might offer reduced fee services. You’ll wante behavioral or cognitive-behavioral therapy.. it works and works well, especially for panic disorder and social anxiety.
Best of luck!
Post # 9
I don’t have this issue, but my mom certainly does. It’s been hard planning a wedding with her, she get terrible anxiety attacks just talking about invitiations.
She’s started seeing a counselor in addtion to her meds to help her get through all of the wedding planning.
Post # 10
@alyrose: I second the therapy idea. I have anxiety and get panic attacks. I’m on an SSRI and have benzos in case of an attack but have not had to rely on them nearly as often since doing a few months of cognitive behavioral therapy. It’s different than regular talk therapy in that you learn to retrain your thought processes that can cause such bad anxiety that Leads to panic attacks. I highly recommend it. If that is not in your budget or you don’t want to see a therapist, there are several good books out there that can walk you through the CBT process. I used them as part of my “homework” during therapy. PM me if you want more info. We are having almost 200 guests and I was initially super freaked out about the anxiety of it all. Having another strategy to fall back on helps me not get quite as anxious.
Post # 11
I have anxiety and panic attacks. I went through therapy, and since then I have learned ways of coping when I am put in an uncomfortable situation. With the wedding, let the little things go. I am starting to see that things are coming together even with those little details overlooked.
If you can’t go to therepy, there are tons of great books at Barnes and Noble that can help. Just remember to breathe and know it will be ok. I would try some yoga or breathing exercises, and take time each night to either go for a walk or do something for YOU.
If you ever need someone to talk to you you can PM me and I would be happy to help you out 🙂
Post # 12
I have GAD, social anxiety, and often have panic attacks. It sucks! I’ve been almost begging my family (and his) to let us have a very small, intimate wedding…that, or elope, because I am not going to be able to handle 300+ people watching me! I know eloping would be a regret for you, so I’ll suggest what a few PP have before me: have an intimate ceremony with just close family and friends, and have a party/reception with everyone else!
Post # 13
@missjewels: I’m sorry you’re going through this. It sucks. I have GAD with panic attacks and although I don’t have the social anxiety, the wedding definitely added to my issues. It’s great that you’re already on medication and in therapy, because your therapist can definitely help you work through the issues and give you some coping skills.
What are you the most anxious about? Is it the amount of people or the fact that you think all eyes will be on you? The planning? Other people? If you can, with your therapist’s help, pinpoint the specific things that are causing you to be anxious, an attack plan will be easier to come up with.
For me, my issue was with planning and, honestly, with my lovely but unpredictable in laws. I get super anxious when I feel like things are spinning out of control. So, I did my best to plan for every eventuality. This makes me feel better. I don’t know if that would help you, but I basically wanted to be in control of as much as possible, and delegated things to people I trust.
Post # 14
I’ve been dealing with a Panic Disorder for the last few years, and it only really flares up during big life events (moving, graduation, buying a house, wedding). I agree that therapy has been super helpful, but I also picked up an Ativan prescription this morning. I think having it available to me on the Wedding Day will be enough of a placebo effect that I won’t need to actually take it (i won’t feel anxious about having an attack, because I have medication in an emergency).
Post # 15
I’m worried for my wedding. I have anxiety that makes me feel totally sick and throw up and… ugh. I’m so scared that it will happen the morning of my wedding. And since a lot of it’s just in my head, I’m worried that worrying about it will make it more likely!! gahhh.