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I hear you. I'm feeling pretty much the same way...nightmares, grinding my teeth at night, upset stomach, trouble concentrating--and I know it's just going to get worse.
I think I'm going to do yoga--I find that it really does help to keep me calm. I'm interested to hear what others say!
I wish I knew.
I just spent about 30 minutes googling EZpass violation fines for NH/MA and making myself sick. All because I'm paranoid that my friend wasn't holding the transponder close enough to the windshield as we went through the tolls. One of the fines went as high as $500!
I'll be obsessively checking the mail for any possible fines for the next month or so....
I read teen literature :)
Silly, but it's totally escapist, and I love to read, so these easy, mindless books (I love the vampire, witches, etc kind of nonsense) give me a great chance to just totally tune out of my own life for a bit. I read a few chapters a day usually, often before bed since the computer especially almost acts like caffiene to my brain. Sometimes lately, since I'm not working, if I'm stressed about job hunting or whatever, I'll actually spend the whole afternoon at Borders, reading. :)
I got a set of cheap trays that helped with the teeth griding as we got closer to the wedding.
When I try to fall asleep, I count backwards by threes.
If you do have teethgrinding, definitely get a mouthguard! For me, sleeping with one makes me more relaxed throughout the day (because it results in so much less tension while I am sleeping).
Go for a long run or swim and don't stop until you are totally exhausted!
Get up early and sit outside in a comfy chair with a cup of coffee/enjoy the quiet of the morning! Breathe :)
And remember that your FI loves you, and that as long as you have a license and officiant, you WILL get married :)
Doing some sort of stretching-based exercise helps for me - fencing, yoga, pilates...
Sitting down with a cup of tea and just breathing the steam. Malt beverages are GREAT for calming the nerves, if you can get ahold of some (Horlicks is for that purpose. Nowhere near as strong as a sleep-aid, but it is calming.)
Taking a bubble bath. Doesn't help so much when the cat decides to join me, though...
Also, remind yourself - it's just one day. At the end of it, you'll be married to your man. That's what matters.
If you just can't shut down your brain, write down specifically what is making you batty. Make an objective list. Then mark things - Out of your control, Back-up Plan Needed, Can Be Resolved... Things like napkins, food, drink, decorations... not that critical. If you need back-up plans, make them (like if the napkins are late - go to the store and pick some up). Things like "I'm not sure he wants kids, and I've just realized how important it is to me" - take care of it ASAP.
If things are keeping me up at night, and it's something I can't take care of right away but is in my control, I write down what it is about the situation that bothers me, so I can pin down the actual problem.
Exercise helps...If I kill myself on a run then I usually sleep like a baby. Also, it helps to avoid caffiene, at least that's what I've noticed.
As others have said, I think exercise is the best NATURAL way to de-stress and reduce anxiety. Doing a few different kinds of exercise each week can be even better. For example, you could go spinning twice a week, yoga twice a week, kickboxing once... keeping things fresh gives you something to look forward to and helps to keep you out of a rut.
And I agree with kate169. I can have small amounts of caffeine (I usually sip 8oz of tea once a day), but try to avoid coffee throughout the day or ANY amount of caffeine before bed, as it can raise your heart rate, and when you are trying to relax this can trigger a panic attack. I used to get them in my sleep if I drank caffeine after 4pm.
In the same boat!! I can't sleep at night, I can't stop the wedding train from rolling in my head! My finace actually gave me this trick, find a documentary on tv, turn the volume down to wear you can just barely hear it, and put your sleep timer on for 20-30 mins. It's not exciting programing so it won't keep you up, but it's just enough to distract your brain and have it think about something else OTHER than the wedding. I tossed and turned last night for an hour, finally put the tv on (I believe it was about asteriods or something, which I actually find pretty intereting) set my sleep timer for 20 mins, and was out before the 20 mins was up!! Try it!
Exercise usually works for me - a good, hard work out drains me where I don't have the strength or energy to be anxious.
I color :). I like how repetitive it is and how you can keep everything inside the neat little boxes. My friends and I would always color around finals, and I still do it when I need to relax and nothing else is working.
I too am normally an anxious, type-A person. Wedding planning in addition to some other major life events, made it so much worse for me. I finally caved and went to the doctor to ask about anti-anxiety meds. I am so glad I did! I'm finally actually getting excited about everything again. Taking meds is a decision only you and your doctor can make, but if the anxiety is really bothering you, it doesn't hurt to talk to her. THe med I'm no isn't addictive and my doctor and I already discussed going off of it after the wedding.
That being said, I'm also doing some of the things mentioned above (exercising, yoga, eating right).The medication actually made doing other things seem manageable (where as before I would have stressed about how I was supposed to fit doing those things into my schedule).
I hope this helps and that things get better for you!
I have some pretty serious anxiety issues and teeth grinding so bad that it can be heard in the next room. Argh.
I've definitely found exercise can help, but NOT moderate exercise. It has to be out of breath, dripping sweat, working to the point where the only thing I can focus on is my next step. Though this turns out to be just as addictive as any other potential anxiety fix - if I get hurt or can't work hard for a day or two, I start to feel REALLY antsy and uncomfortable.
I went on an SSRI for anxiety and it really did do a fantastic job with the long-term anxiety issues that were consuming me at that time. BUT the side effects were pretty intense and only got worse (it eventually destroyed by desire to do anything besides sleep). The withdrawal was really bad, too. I only tried one med, though, which has turned out to be pretty notorious for this stuff. I would definitely suggest it as something to look at for general, lifelong anxiety - it can be helpful but I really don't want to have to do it again.
I've also used one-time benzodiazapenes prescribed on an as needed basis. These are great for me - quick acting and really effective for those intense attacks of anxiety. But they are known to be addictive, so if you're worried about that be skeptical.
A glass of wine is also relaxing, but same potential for abuse/overuse as the benzos.
Lastly, work. Distraction. Tasks that require attention but not deep thought. Hmmm... I think this might be the only one on the list that's *not* physically addictive.
Take a bath, read a book (something fun and light--I'm working on the Sookie Stackhouse series right now, it's like True Blood but in book form!), drink a glass of wine, cuddle with your pet(s)... Also I live with my FI and if I'm really anxious I find it helps just to tell him what's going through my mind, even if I have to wake him up to tell him. It really lightens the load being able to tell someone who loves you what's going on, and often guys have a nice level-headed response to your worries :)
Yoga, running- working out in general. Long walks with my dog.......getting out of the city for a night and going camping, unplugging from technology, sites like Facebook where there is an overload of info and I start to feel suffocated. Avoiding negativity helps too (negative people and being negative myself). I have suffered from anxiety my whole life, it's caused me so much stress and hurt.....I don't know the key to ridding myself of it forever, but I do know little tricks here and there for temp relief.
My sleep doctor gave me a CD with some exercises on it that have really worked. They are meant for sleep, but turns out they work pretty well for plain old anxiety too.
One that I really enjoy is the PMR (Progressive Muscle Relaxation) exercises.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Progressive_muscle_relaxation
If you Google it you will find some scripts. I have gotten to the point that I really don't need an audiotape playing, I just go through the exercises tightening and releasing muscles.
I think if it is to the point of physical ailment, you shoudl see a dr. I had the same issues after I got laid off. ONce I was working again, I got over the mential issues but the physical did not subside. I am now taking a very low dose of Citalopram. It has been WONDEROUS for me. No more anger in traffic or snapping over nothing. I know I'm much more enjoyable for others to be around. And, I got rid of the rapid heartbeat and sleep problems.
Def. try exercise first, but don't be afraid to discuss it with your dr, too.
Therapy works for me... and klonopin sporadically, for when I feel a panic attack coming on.
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What are some of the things that you ladies do to shut your brain off? I am an anxious person on the best of days..and with the wedding coming quickly it's gone way above what I expected it to me. I can't stop thinking about things, the nightmares have started, I can't sleep...I'm debating whether I should go to the doctor to talk to her about it, but I'm concerned that I would become dependent or need to take something for the rest of my life. I normally take B6 around my cycle to keep my nerves calm, but now it's out of control.
What do you do to calm your mind, body and soul??