Post # 1
I’ve never been one to need to be the center of attention, and my FI is the same way. With our wedding quickly approaching, I’m having major anxiety about having a day that is all about us.
On top of that, I hate the thought of putting people out and making people go out of their way for me, and the thought of my out of town guests having to shell out hundreds of dollars to be at my wedding makes me incredibly uncomfortable. How do I mentally move past that? I’m one of the last of my friends to get married and I have been there for all of them, so it makes sense that they should all be there for me. I just an overwhelmed by guilt and anxiety over the thought of it all. Help! How do I calm my nerves so that I’m able to enjoy our wedding day and the company of our loved ones around us?
Post # 2
Wow, it’s like reading my own post because I feel exactly the same way you do! But I’ve been telling myself that it’s only ONE day of my life that I can afford to be a little selfish (God knows I’ve been there for my friends), and that our friends and family are truly happy to see me getting married to the love of my life. Just focus on your fiance and be happy that you have so many people who love you.
Post # 3
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
People wouldn’t ‘shell out the money if they couldn’t or didn’t want to. Keep that in mind!
I just got married on Saturday, and while I have no major problems being the center of attention (lol), I know I did feel some anxiousness. In the end, trust me when I say it wasn’t bad at all; we were the center of love and good wishes– nothing else!!!
Post # 4
My grandmother pointed out to me years ago when I was in college and needed some brief financial assistance that ‘helping was her joy.’ If it meant loaning money for a plane ticket home at Christmas or baking for my wedding.
Just like you get joy from helping and supporting your friends and family, (you’ve gone to their weddings and (hopefully) didn’t feel taxed or put out) so will they get joy from your day!
I am going through this right now, too, and am in the same boat of thought the whole way! It feels like too much!! I just have to remind myself occasionally- this is their Joy to share in our day.
(and we’re keeping the focus on us rather minimal 🙂 )
Post # 5
daisy351: Always remember……
An invitation to an event does not equal an automatic RSVP of yes.
Your guests had the option of RSVP’ing no to your wedding. The guests that are shelling out money to attend are doing it out of his/her own free will. If they did not want to attend, they had the oppourtunity to RSVP no…….
As for being the center of attention….. it is weird and I felt the same way…. what i did throughout the day to get away from the madness was find quiet moments here and there to spend with just my DH. Our first look was just us and the photographers, after the ceremony we spent about 20 minutes alone before going to the cocktail hour, after dinner we escaped with the photographers for about 20 minutes to get night shots…….
Try to find a few people that put you at ease and let them know about your anxiety….. if you give them the heads up they will know to be extra attentive to you on your wedding day….
Post # 6
Thanks for the advice everyone, glad to know I’m not the only one who feels this way. I know I loved being there for my friends on their special day, and I guess I have to remember that my friends feel the same way about my day.
My FI and I will definitely have to sneak away for a moment to ourselves here and there to calm the nerves. My sister (my MOH) has been pretty good through the whole process of trying to calm my nerves. She always seems to know the right thing to say when I’m freaking out, so it will be great to have her by my side on my wedding day.
Post # 7
Print this post out and put it on your fridge:
“Your Wedding Is Not an Imposition”
Post # 8
Awww, I understand the way you feel but try to focus on the fact that you are marrying your perfect someone and the ones attending your wedding feel really honored to be a part of such a time in your life. Your wedding day will be so special, so filled with love for everyone in your life and those guests who had to travel or arrange to be there will just be so happy that they got to experience it too. I never loved being the center of attention either and had anxiety about this too but on your wedding day, magic takes over and it was great and to be honest, I never felt more loved! I definitely agree with pp’s and just focus on your soon to be hubby and all the love of your family and friends!