Post # 1
The guest list is getting out of control. We went in with the notion of inviting 125 guests and seriously hoping for about 110 to accept. The guest list is now up to 145 for the A list. And this is due to FI’s parents (who aren’t contributing a dime) suddenly calling and wanting to add four more people. Then his dad FINALLY stated that they would give $1000 to my parents for this. Where they will get this is beyond me. But what I don’t like is that we don’t even know these cousins. And while I do like his parents, I have a feeling I’ll never see this $1000 of theirs to help out.
Fiance and I decided (before FFiL’s call) that we would put an extra $1000 in as well since there are some people on the B list who really need to be on the A. And this money will cover that.
My parents, who are paying for the majority of the wedding, have NO CLUE any of this is going on at the moment. I have an hour commute to work and this is all I thought about. My stomach was in my throat and my chest was pounding with anxiety. I feel like I just want to cry. I’m so annoyed by his parents at the moment.
If we allow these cousins, do I tell Fiance to tell his parents that we need to money upfront to give to my parents?
At times, I really wish we would’ve eloped…
Post # 3
Honey I totally understand! Our guest list mushroomed from 145 to 300 in the blink of an eye. I don’t know how we’ll pay for it, and Fiance seems to think it’ll just work out. Future Mother-In-Law was adding her husband’s neieces and nephews, who Fiance has never met when I finally lost my cool on it.
I worry every night that the restaurant we’re having the reception in won’t be able to accomodate our growning guest list. That it’ll rain and we have no rain plan. Etc. Etc. Etc.
I too, wish I’d been able to convince him to elope. Gah.
Post # 4
I think you need to tell his parents no. Ugh but they already offered to pay. 🙁
What about giving them a deadline? Like, “Okay, we’ll need that thousand to cover xyz up front, so please get it to us by [date not too far away].” Then you’ll have a time frame (and reason) for bugging them if they fall through.
It’ll be okay!! All these little bumps are just part of the road leading up to your WEDDING!! The one where you get to MARRY the man of your dreams! Yay!
Post # 5
I think that’s what I’m going to have to tell his parents, I guess. Give them a date for when their check is ‘due.’ I hate to do it and I feel horrible but…I really just want to tell them no.
Post # 6
Is telling them no not an option? Are they particularly close to these cousins? 🙁 I’m sorry you have to deal with the awkwardness! I would just have your Fiance tell them that the $1000 is due soon (like by March 1st)– otherwise, you may never see it…
Post # 7
Oh I feel your pain. I wish we would have eloped almost every other day!!!
Post # 8
I agree with setting a date that they have to give you the money by. This will force them to evaluate and be realistic.
We told our parents that we will pay for OUR family and friends but they would need to pay for the friends they would like to invite. They really couldn’t complain since we are covering EVERYTHING from A to Z. Both cut their list in half.
Post # 9
Here’s more of the story: FI’s Dad’s brother passed away in December. The brother lives in CA. We are in PA. Two of these four cousins they want us to invite live near Philadelphia and apparently have millions of dollars. FI’s parents have spoken of them before but in the ENTIRE FOUR YEARS of us dating, I’ve NEVER met them. Only until FFiL’s brother passed away have they reconnected. I guess in conversation the cousins had already thought Fiance was married and of course his parents tell them all of the wedding details and their response? “WE never received an invite.”
So now because they’ve been buddy buddy for the past month, we’re expected to add them to the list.
Post # 10
Realistically, they’re just a few people. Sure, it’s a pain in the rear and it sounds like your guest list has already done some inflating, but … family is family. And if they’re buddying up now, they’ll probably be even closer 8 months from now.
One question though, what are these people thinking, assuming you would have sent out invites already, when the wedding isn’t for another 9 months?! Of course they haven’t received their invites – NO ONE HAS! haha….
Post # 11
I’m so sorry they are making it a mess. I would definetly get the money from them before inviting them since you aren’t inviting people that far out on the family tree for your side so they are making it uneven. I hope you can figure it out soon!