Post # 1
So I’m an only child and I’m not very close to my cousins as I’d wish.
I have tons of friends but all from different circles of friends.
I had a so-called “bff” but we’re no longer friends. I had such a bad experience being her bridesmaid. She lost like 3 friends because of her wedding and high maintenance. It made me so traumatized, that I didn’t originally want any bridesmaids for fear I may ask too much of my friends too But my fiance wants us to have 4 each.
So now I’m continuously thinking who should I ask.
One friend I’d love to ask her to be my maid of honor but she was just a maid of honor to her sister and she is so tired of weddings and being the maid of honor. It was so stressful for her.
Then I have other friends who are also kind of similar. So I want to ask them since I feel closes to them but at the same time I feel so bad. I know it’s suppose to be an honor and what not but all I can think of is it’s more of a burden for them. You have to spend $ and time and most of these girls are parents themselves.
I’m probably way over thinking this but it’s also an honor for me to ask certain girls and I want to make sure I ask girls who would be happy to do it but also girls I know I feel comfortable with and trust and can rely on if I do need some help. I don’t plan on asking any of them for much help though. I really don’t want to expect much from anyone. I can do it myself so I don’t burden anyone.
Ahh I dont know what to do or who to ask. I feel like such a loser. LOL
Anyone else experience this? I feel so silly for feeling this way.
Post # 2
That’s tough! I’m on the opposite end. I have quite a few close girlfriends and cousins, but am actually having to decide who doesn’t get to be a BM and hoping they won’t feel left out or offended that they weren’t asked! <br />I say, if you have an idea of who you’d like to ask, it doesn’t hurt to approach them with your thoughts. Let them know what your expectations are and also be understanding if they decline. Each bride is different, so I think being a maid of honor or bridesmaid for YOU won’t necessarily give them the same experience. Who knows, being your maid of honor or bridesmaid could change their perspectives on weddings and the like! Good luck! 🙂
Post # 3
SarinaLove: If you know for certain which girls you would like to have in your bridal party, go ahead and ask them! They may very well be excited and pumped to stand up there with you. The ones who are unable to commit to that task, I’m sure they’ll tell you. You won’t know what their answers are if you don’t ask them. Good Luck!
Post # 4
SarinaLove: Actually no, you don’t need to spend lots of time and effort to be a bridesmaid! What you need to do is be a low maintenance bride. Do all the planning with your fiance, and just have minimal expectations of them, like only a low key bachelorette party. If you make that clear, I think girls will be much happier to accept. (EDIT: OK I see you’re not expecting much of them anyway – so tell them that!)
If you’re worried about cost, you could also pay for their dresses. (Personally I think it’s a silly tradition that bridesmaids pay for their dresses). Though because it’s tradition, most girls are happy to do that (if the dress isn’t too expensive).
Post # 5
i got these to help formally ask my friends to be my bridesmaid. I just have to set a date and venue first. haha
Picture taken by me! 😛
Post # 6
All your bridesmaids really have to do is show up dressed and stand by your side on the day of your wedding. You can let them select their own dresses or pay for them yourself. Throwing you a showers is optional on their part. They don’t have to “do” anything that is an imposition on their time or money and you don’t have to expect it.
The sides don’t have to match in number, either. You should choose by the closeness of the relationship.
Post # 7
SarinaLove: I think they’ll be so happy you asked. Also, don’t be a crazy bride that demands a lot & you won’t be putting much of a burden on your friends. My fsil asked me to be a bridesmaid & I didn’t think of it as a burden, I was actually really happy that she asked me, & I would have been way more upset if she didn’t ask me to be a bridesmaid. I also asked her & my older sister to be in my wedding (both mothers) & neither of them have said it’s so burdensome to pay for the stuff. They’re so excited to be a part of the day that they really don’t care how much it costs (I still try to keep stuff on the cheaper side the best I can though)
Post # 8
If they cannot do it, i.e. the burned out BM who has done it too much, tell them you undertsand if they cannot. But, you still want to extend the offer because they are your friends, and it would mean alot if they were there.
Cant hurt to ask!