Anxious about asking my friends to be a bridesmaid

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
7 posts

That’s tough! I’m on the opposite end. I have quite a few close girlfriends and cousins, but am actually having to decide who doesn’t get to be a BM and hoping they won’t feel left out or offended that they weren’t asked! <br />I say, if you have an idea of who you’d like to ask, it doesn’t hurt to approach them with your thoughts. Let them know what your expectations are and also be understanding if they decline. Each  bride is different, so I think being a maid of honor or bridesmaid for YOU won’t necessarily give them the same experience. Who knows, being your maid of honor or bridesmaid could change their perspectives on weddings and the like! Good luck! 🙂

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by  momoro.
Post # 3
904 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 1975

SarinaLove:  If you know for certain which girls you would like to have in your bridal party, go ahead and ask them! They may very well be excited and pumped to stand up there with you. The ones who are unable to commit to that task, I’m sure they’ll tell you. You won’t know what their answers are if you don’t ask them. Good Luck!

Post # 4
7025 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

SarinaLove:  Actually no, you don’t need to spend lots of time and effort to be a bridesmaid! What you need to do is be a low maintenance bride. Do all the planning with your fiance, and just have minimal expectations of them, like only a low key bachelorette party. If you make that clear, I think girls will be much happier to accept. (EDIT: OK I see you’re not expecting much of them anyway – so tell them that!)

If you’re worried about cost, you could also pay for their dresses. (Personally I think it’s a silly tradition that bridesmaids pay for their dresses). Though because it’s tradition, most girls are happy to do that (if the dress isn’t too expensive).

Post # 6
6674 posts
Bee Keeper

All your bridesmaids really have to do is show up dressed and stand by your side on the day of your wedding. You can let them select their own dresses or pay for them yourself.   Throwing you a showers is  optional on their part. They don’t have to “do” anything that is an imposition on their time or money and you don’t have to expect it. 

The sides don’t have to match in number, either. You should choose by the closeness of the relationship.

Post # 7
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

SarinaLove:  I think they’ll be so happy you asked. Also, don’t be a crazy bride that demands a lot & you won’t be putting much of a burden on your friends. My fsil asked me to be a bridesmaid & I didn’t think of it as a burden, I was actually really happy that she asked me, & I would have been way more upset if she didn’t ask me to be a bridesmaid. I also asked her & my older sister to be in my wedding (both mothers) & neither of them have said it’s so burdensome to pay for the stuff. They’re so excited to be a part of the day that they really don’t care how much it costs (I still try to keep stuff on the cheaper side the best I can though)

Post # 8
1801 posts
Buzzing bee

If they cannot do it, i.e. the burned out BM who has done it too much, tell them you undertsand if they cannot. But, you still want to extend the offer because they are your friends, and it would mean alot if they were there.

Cant hurt to ask!

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