Post # 1
So on New Year’s I drunkenly asked my boyfriend to marry me and he said yes. We were laughing about it right there in the bar and talking about “if it counted”…he ended up saying that he wants to do an official proposal with the ring and honestly I’m fine with that because every girl wants a sweet story to tell! (I know a ring is coming because we had already designed one, and I knew that he paid for it in October but was keeping it at the jeweler for the next few months until he was ready)
Well my friend overheard us that night and told me that he told her he had already picked up the ring and was racking his brain trying to figure out how to do it. I feel a little bad because I’ve said to him “I just want a proposal that if I tell it 1000x, it’s still going to be cute” and I think that’s put a lot of pressure on him. I didn’t at all mean for it to sound like I need something BIG, just something cute.
But he paid for the ring in October and I didn’t know up until New Years that he actually HAD the ring in our home. Truthfully, ever since he paid for it, I’ve been waiting EVERY DAY for him to do it. Every time we go somewhere, or I come home and the lights are off but I know he’s home (usually he’s sleeping or watching TV in the dark haha), every holiday (Thanksgiving, Christmas, our anniversary, New years, etc) I’ve been so antsy.
I try not to show it, and though I’m very excited about the whole thing, I really just want it so I can get this show on the road! I’m tired of being anxious, and I’m tired of feeling weird talking about where we would have a wedding or anything like that and my mom or friends responding with “you’re not even engaged yet! don’t pressure him!” It FEELS like we’re engaged, I just officially want the commitment! We live together, we share a dog, we talk about moving away together, we talk about getting secretly married, and it’s weird that he’s only my boyfriend. It feels so unofficial.
I seriously can’t stop thinking about when he’s going to do it already…can anyone relate? Any tips that helped you? My BF tells me to try not to think about it so it can be a surprise…if only it were that easy!
Post # 3
@Lyssie: I can totally relate! My boyfriend told me in September 2013 that he had begun his hunt for my ring and I was so overwhelmed with excitement that I couldnt contain myself and asked him (more like pathetically annoyed him for days) for a time frame of when he was going to do it. He said before feb 2014. I think it really helped because if not, just waiting would drive me nuts!!! … Maybe you could ask him for a general range?
I know my boyfriend has the ring in his possesion at the moment and now that it’s finally Jan 2014…the clock is ticking and I’m just counting down the days.
I’ve started wedding prepping a little bit and that helps distract me from the wait. I read up on churches, venues…colours etc.
Hang in there, I’m with you and I bet several others are too!
Hugs and Good Luck!
Post # 4
I highly recommend mentally start planning out where you might go to get married, dress styles, etc. so that you can keep busy in a way that will be useful later.
Post # 5
@MrsNathanael1989: I SO want to ask him for a time frame, but I know he would never tell me because he wants it to be a surprise. From everything that I’ve pieced together I think it will be in the next month or so….then again, he originally told me it was going to be this past fall and I’ve been waiting ever since! So my guessing has been pretty “off” thus far.
My old roommate gets her bridal magazines delivered to my house and I always read them. I don’t want to freak him out with him seeing me look at all this stuff, but I’ve kind of adopted the attitude like “well….you’re keeping me waiting so I’m just going to hold myself over with wedding details until you actually pull the trigger!”
I keep having this strong intuition that it’s going to happen, and it doesn’t! I think that if he told me a range, he would feel like it took some of the surprise away…but I don’t have the heart to tell him NEWS FLASH I KNOW THE RING IS COMING SO LET’S GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD!! haha
Post # 6
@Lyssie: oh I’ve been way off with my intuitions too, I thought it was going to be a cliched holiday proposal. ugh! and yeah getting the time frame out from him was definitely not an easy task.
anyway Im pretty sure he’s not going to have a problem with you looking at bridal stuff. I mean especially now that the ring is in his possession !
As long as you don’t force the researching and planning on him too before the proposal happens he shouldn’t have a problem ..which I’m sure you already know.
Other than Valentine’s day, do you guys have any special occassions coming soon? anniversaries..birthdays?
Keep us posted about when it happens, I am excited for you ! x
Post # 7
@Lyssie: EVERYONE will tell you to try not to think about it…so much easier said than done!
My story is essentially identical to yours–we had designed a ring and I was led to believe that he hadn’t picked it up yet. Despite that, every time he got down to tie his shoelace, I basically went into tachycardia. Oddly, when he finally did propose, I was completely surprised!
I was able to distract myself a little bit with the holidays and I ended up getting engaged on the 22nd. As your engagement period is going to revolve around wedding planning and might put the things that you like to do on the back burner, I might recommend taking the time now to pick up something you enjoy. If you like to play an instrument, learn a new song, or if you do something crafty, start a new project.
Good luck! And it sounds like it’s coming soon, so congrats in advance. 🙂
Post # 8
@MrsNathanael1989 & @schnoodlemama Thanks for your insight!
I actually broke down the other morning, and just started crying. I told him “I’ve been TRYING not to think about it, trust me I have, but I can’t just turn my thoughts off on command! It’s like if I told you that at some point in the next three months, I was going to put a poisonous spider in your shoe, I’m not going to tell you when though….and just try not to think about it. That would be impossible not to think about! And believe it or not, it’s just like this situation, I’m just constantly waiting [He understood when I explained it like that]. I know that you want to surprise me with this amazing engagement story but I’m literally at war with myself every second of the day and I’d rather not have a ring or an official proposal than wait until June and have a perfect one!”
He seemed to understand that, and he apologized profusely for causing so much emotional stress. Of course, I told him it’s not his fault, and I know he doesn’t want me to be upset about it, I’ve just been holding it together since we had the ring finished IN OCTOBER and I’m tired of thinking “maybe tonight’s the night!” …it’s exhausting. I truly don’t think this would’ve been so much of a problem had we not picked out the ring together (part of me is slapping myself for this), but now that I’m here in this situation, and I know he has the ring, there isn’t much I can do but wait…