Post # 1
FI and I have both agreed that we don’t want kids. We believe it’s a lifestyle choice and not our “job” to procreate to keep society moving. I think kids are great (in fact, I’m a teacher)…but I just don’t have any desire to raise my own.
I do feel like I’m largely alone in this decision though. I don’t get a lot of support from friends and family. They all think I’ll “change my mind” or worse, beg me to change my decision (that’s mostly my mother – haha).
Anyone else in the same boat?
Post # 3
@mscuppycake: We didn’t want children! But, we had a bit of an oops and now have a 5 year old. We love him very very much but don’t want another. People keep asking if we’re going to have another. If it’s not one “suggestion,” it’s another. Don’t let it bug you!
Post # 4
@mscuppycake: My fiancé and I are in our late 20’s and will not be having kids. I really don’t like children very much in general, and neither does Fi. It probably doesn’t help that all the kids we know are horrendously behaved, but still, it’s a choice we have made as we really enjoy our lifestyle.
Post # 5
I am 35 and have know since I was about 12 years old that I do not want children. I am getting married in January and am dreading the fact then once we get married the old “when are you going to have kids?” will start. People have been telling me that I will change my mind for years but I know that I will not. what I don’t understand is why they all think it’s okay to assume that I want them.
Post # 6
I’m in my late 20’s and FI is in his early 30’s and we both are adament about not having kids. I personally just can’t picture myself being a mom. And holding babies terrifies the crap out of both of us lol. If an “oopsie” happens then so be it & we’ll be parents but we’re taking every precaution to keep that from happening. I agree that it’s a person lifestyle choice & not something that someone should do because of pressure from family & friends or to help populate the planet. There’s too many people on this planet as is lol
Post # 7
Yup, I’m mid twenties and FI is mid thirtys and been together for 6 years. Everyone says I will change my mind blah blah. I have never wanted children and dont feel the need to have one just because thats what people do, or to make someone else happy.
Post # 8
Me! I’ve never been one to like kids or go ohhh and ahhh over babies. Actually the more time I spend with kids the less I like them.
I know some people are child free that like children, but for me personally it’s a combination of not standing them, the cost to raise, the damage to my body, the lost time, the enviormental impact, and stress.
You might feel alone but I can assure you that you’re not! Google “childfree by choice” and you’ll find tons of info and communities that are dealing with the same issues such as family and societal pressure to breed.
Post # 9
DH and I have no interest in ever having kids for a wide variety of reasons. We don’t want to spend the money, take the risks or the responsibility, make the lifestyle sacrifices, lose the flexibility, have a human being around making constant demands of us… We’re both elementary school teachers, we figure that’s enough contribution. ;D
Post # 10
Personally I can’t wait to have a family, but I completely respect the view that some people have regarding not wanting to have children. I would say however that I do have some friends who were married in their 20s, and were certain they didn’t want kids, but when they got to early 30s they changed their mind! So all I would say is to keep an open mind to all views, and that yours *might* change.
But I do agree, it’s not nice when people put pressure on you to do something you don’t want, whether that is having kids or something else!
Post # 11
@mscuppycake: I’m turning 28 and my fiancé 29. We are child free by choice. Very passionate about it as well. I have a ten year IUD and most likely will have to have a total hysterectomy by 30 dealing with “women issues”.
Post # 12
@mscuppycake: The older I get, the more I think about not having kids. A few years ago I had baby fever BAD. FI and I are both 25 and we’ll be finishing up graduate school next year. We’ve been pretty tight on money throughout our relationship so we haven’t been able to really travel like we want.
IF we do have kids, it won’t be for another 3-5 years at least. But then I’ll be 30 and will I really want to be chasing after kids at that point? I love kids to death, but I like the idea of neices and nephews because I can send them home after I don’t want to deal with them anymore.
And I like puppies better.
Post # 13
- Wedding: April 2012 - Chateau Briand
i think people get annoying about it because you’re still young and they’ve probably seen others swear up and down they don’t want kids and then change their minds, so they incorrectly assume others will too. My best friend was married at 32 and swore she hated kids blah blah but now she is excitedly trying for one. I think it’s great and it’s definitely one’s choice to change their mind but I also don’t assume everyone will. As far as your mom goes, do you have siblings you can redirect her desire for grand babies to? Lol
Post # 14
Me. I’ve never been a kid person not even when I was a kid. FI and I agree it’s not happening and slowly our families are atarting to get the idea too but it doesn’t stop the questions. kids just aren’t for us or the lifestyle we like. we are sticking with dogs but do worry about all the questions at the wedding considering I haven’t been to a wedding yet where the bride and groom weren’t asked this question every chance people got
Post # 15
@mscuppycake: We are TTC but I totally understand people who are CFBC. The lifestyle defintiely appeals to me but my desire for kids is stronger. I think you just have to understand that it’s not considered the “norm” and you’ll always hear people’s opinions (because they’re rude). Just remember what body part opinions are like ;o)
DH and I decided that if for some reason we can’t have children, we’d be fine on our own.
Post # 16
We definitely do not want children. We are very happy with our pup, and plan to have more dogs over the years, but that’s as close as it’ll get for us!
Neither of us particularly enjoy children, and I’ve never seen a baby/toddler/child that I’ve been like “OHHH so cute!”. Never.
I’m terrified of holding kids, too. Never done it.