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I am 40 DH is 41 and we both had teenagers. We left it to them what they wanted to participate in. My son really doesn't enjoy gatherings where Dhs son was thrilled to help everywhere he could. Thinks like that, IMO, will naturally vary from child to child.
My Mom got married at 42 and my sister was.. 19 I think? (Freshman in college.) I was a sophomore in HS and my (other) sister was a senior in HS. We were all her "maids of honor" and her brother walked her down the aisle.
I was 44 when I married in April. At that time my kids were 16 and 18 yrs. of age. We had an intimate gathering here at home. When the pastor asked who was giving me away, my dad answered then my son answered. That was the extent of their involvement - other than my daughter setting up the cupcakes on the stand and me making both of them help to clean the house.
My FI and I have been together for 13 years. We are getting married next October and all three of my kids will be in our wedding. My daughter (26) will be a bridesmaid, my oldest son (24) will be a groomsman, and my youngest son (18) will be walking me down the aisle and also doing a reading. My grandson (5) will be our ringbearer. I'm so happy that they all accepted our requests to be in our wedding.
I have 2 teenagers, my son is 17 and my daughter is 14 and i am ugh 43 lol My son will not be walking me down the aisle due to the fact that he hates weddings and a very unfortunate incident during the Mother Son cotillion dance that I believe has left us both scarred for life LOL However he has agreed to answer the minister and give me away.
My daughter is my only attendent (MOH) and has gone dress shopping with me and put up with all my chatter about the wedding and I am not sure how I would do this without her - here is a recent picture of us from a couple of weeks ago before her dance recital . . .
she is 1000 times prettier than I have ever been so hoping people will stare at her and not me during the ceremony. She has also threatened to hit me over the head with a bouquet (either hers or mine it depends) if I start boo hoo-ing during the ceremony :)
I am 42. My 21 yr old son is walking me down the aisle and my 14yr old daughter is my MOH.
Here's a recent pic just cuz I want to show them off.
I have a 19 year old, a 16, 12 and one year old (what were we thinking) lol, the two oldest are girls so they are my bridesmaids, my son is 12 and will be an usher and the baby who will be two by then will be our RB.
my son will be 27 and he is standing up with me. he will probably walk me down the aisle if i choose not to walk alone.
I just got remarried two weeks ago. I am 43 and my sons are 12 and 14. My My 12 year old gave me away and the 14 year old was a groomsman. My husband's has a 16 year old son and he was the best man. It was great having them in the wedding.
@mypinkshoes: I will be marrying my college sweetheart on June 30. He asked me to marry him 24 years ago, but due to circumstances we went our seperate ways. We each married and had children and divorced. We are now back together with children who at the time of the wedding will be 18, 16, 13, and 11. There are three girls and one boy. My FI will be escorted down the aisle by his daughters (13 & 11) first, and I will be escorted by my children (daughter 18 & son 16). They are the only ones in our wedding party as we wanted to include them all as much as possible.
@waited24years: Sounds great! I'm sure it will be so memorable with your children being part of your special day.
My daughters are 23, 21 and 20. They are my Bridesmaids and Flower Maiden. My 20 yo has always wanted to be a flower girl, but we didn't know anyone getting married back then.
My FI has a step son and step daughter and 4 grandkids from his ex wife. His stepson will be a groomsman and the 13 yo grand daughter will be jr bridesmaid, the 11 yo and 9 yo will be banner children. The 5 yo will not do anything as he is a mama's boy. The step daughter we have not heard from, she lives in Michigan and probably will not be coming.
I am soon to be 43 and this is my first marriage. My kids are 27(girl) 26(boy) and 21(girl), and my girls are more excited than I am. My sister will be my maid of honor, and my daughters are bridesmaids. My wedding is this coming May.
I have 3 grand-girls and a grand boy, and Im trying to involve them in the wedding too. My fiance has grands that live with us, and everybody wants to be involved! YIKES!!
My daughter is 15 and my soon to be stepdaughter is 13. I have a son 24, and my FI has sons 17 and 24. My daugher is my MOH, his daugher is a bridesmaid (there are 6 girls in our wedding total) and all our sons are standing up with FI along with 3 of his friends. If my father's health doesn't allow him to actually walk me down the aisle (he is having trouble walking and we will be on sand) my son will walk me out and Dad will meet us at the front so he can give me away and my son will then take his place with the guys. We are all very close. It's truly been awesome blending the families and I can't wait til we are "official" but it's already family.
My son was 28 and my daughter was 26 on our wedding day. The two of them were our attendants. Even though both of them are too old to be living with us, I appreciated the support from them.
I'm not in my 40s yet....but I have a teenager! I'm 34, and my son will be 14 at our wedding in August. He'll be walking me down the aisle.... I tear up just thinking about it!! lol
My mom (just turned 47) is getting married this spring. My sisters and I are attending and helping cook/setup, but there is no wedding party.
My MIL got remarried a couple years ago and went to Florida where DH grandparents lived and got married on the beach. She didn't invite DH or his sister and only told DH about it in passing. He didn't even know when the date was.
I have two bio children and he has two bio children .l All of them are between the ages of 16 and 21 and we plan on getting married (we have been together years) on our family avacation this year. The girls will be dressed and standing by me and the boys dressed and standing by him.
We are having a beach wedding so we are also having a "blended family" sand ceremony.
I am 52 and have two children: A 15 yr old daughter & a 21 yr old son (away at college). My daughter lives with me. I was divorced 3 years ago after a 25 yr marriage. I met my fi while I was separated awaiting final decree. He has lived with us for just over 2 years and has been a godsend to us. He has never been married or had kids (he's 15 yrs younger than I am). He loves my daughter as his own and is totally involved in her life. My son won't give him the time of day. We are going off to the Bahamas to be married this summer. My fi's father, my lifelong friend & his spouse and my daughter will join us. I haven't even been able to tell my son yet about the engagement let alone a wedding. My daughter will be my MOH, though it's taken her some time to get head head around the wedding thing. It's hard not having my son on board at all.
When I marry in August, I will be 44--my daughter will be 24 and my MOH, my son will be 23 and give me away :)
My daughter is 20 and pregnant but the baby will be born before the wedding, she is also my MOH and my sons are giving me away and also in the wedding
MM has two kids now 19,21. His son was his best man and gave the toast. "Ive known my dad all my life (insert chuckle) and he has never been happier" (insert teary eyed). 
I am 42, my FI is 30. My daughter is 24, my sons are 19 and 14. Our families are the only ones that will have a place in our wedding.
My Dad got ordained online and he is going to marry FI and I. My daughter is my MOH and my sons will be giving me away and also be FI's best men. We have a 6 nieces and they will all be flower girls instead of me having bridesmaids.
I was married right out of high school at 18 and had my son at 19 and my daughter at 21. I of course divorced their father. im now 36 and getting married.
my children will have Big roles, actually doubled roles.
My son ( 17 now) will be an usher at the start and double back for me, and my daughter (15 in 2 weeks) will be a bridesmaid.
However, we decided that my children will walk in front of me with the ring bear, and actually my son will stop half way up the aisle and my daughter will take the ring bearer to the front and double back about 3/4 up the aisle..
I will walk to my son on my own, then to my daughter along with my son.. they both will "give" me over to my fiance. We also have my sisters and tons of neices and nephews in the wedding.
my FI and i have a speical ring exchange planned for our kids- since me and FI have matching commitment rings, we will be getting the kids rings and exchanging them right after our ring exchange...so we will be marrying into a new family!
well, i am having my 40th birthday exactly one month before our wedding date..still weird as i have been feeling completely at ease in my 30s..well, guess it´s time for a new challenge - let´s see how a more mature and married Sonia will develop!
We both have kids from previous relatinships (we never married) - he has a son who turns 20 on our wedding day 
and i have a daughter who´s almost 12. She will be my maid of honor! She´s not exactly proud because she just "spalshed" into teenage world so she doesn´t know what to feel or want..but i know she will love the attention and the role! Besides, she´s incredibly beautiful :-). Our 4 years old will be our ring bearer and his son will be responsible for the music as he already works here and there as a DJ.
This is my daughter
I have a son in his late 20's who is a groomsmen. I wanted him to walk me 1/2 down to my Father but I change my mind. But, I might change it back.
I am 41 and got married for the second time in April of this year. My children are 17yo and 14yo. My daughter was my MOH and my son gave me away. It was so special! They were my only attendants.
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Even though I'm a bride-to-be, I do not fit this category (I'm 26 and have no children), but my mom did in 2001. Neither I nor my sister had a role in her wedding, but both of us attended nonetheless.
At the time of her wedding, my mom would've been a couple of months shy of her forty-third birthday. I would've been 16 and in the back half of my sophmore year of high school. (In fact, the wedding happened sixteen days after my sixteenth birthday.) My sister, on the other hand, would've been 21, in college, and already living on her own. Needless to say, our now stepfather (who moved from Canada all the way to Kansas) had more of a role in my life than in my sister's. (And after he had married Mom, whenever Mom had to go out of town on business--which was about two weeks a month on average, it was basically me and him, and yes, we did get along fairly well in her absence.)
So, any of you have sons or daughters who are teenagers or adults? Will they have a role in the wedding, or will they simply be guests?