- 7 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
I just got back from a meeting with my academic advisor at my university about switching degrees. Last year I did not do very well at all in any of my classes due to some personal issues that I could no longer keep seperated from my work and school life. While talking to the counselor I became very emotional about my situation and blurted out some personal information without thinking.
Just for a little background I would like to let you know that I was abused from the ages of 8-16 by my mother’s ex husband. He was physically violent, emotionally abusive, and I think he sexually harrassed me (I know what he did was wrong, but I’m not sure if it qualifies as sexual harrassment).
I did not tell my advisor the details of my abuse. For the most part I only mentioned that for a large chunk of my life I had been abused by my step-father and that he was a cop so I had nobody to turn to during those years. This all came up because she wanted to know why I did so horribly in school last year. I thought all of the abuse was behind me until I saw my abuser in my work last November. Since then I think I have been feeling all of the anger, hurt, and shame that I’ve detatched myself from over the years. I can’t control myself when I think about the abuse and tend to blurt things out without thinking about it.
I feel bad for brining this up to my poor advisor. I even started crying in her office because it was so overwhelming. Bringing this up made me blab about how I lost my best friend’s father to cancer last year and my fiance got laid off too. All three incidents happened in the same semester.
After talking to my advisor I feel better about my academic situation because we figured out a plan to get me back on track. I’ve also just got off the phone with a local women’s shelter. I had to leave a voicemail, but I contacted their counseling center to seek help for my issues. I plan on getting some individual help first and then my Fiance wants to start going to counseling with me since this affects both of us.
My question about this whole situation is this: How would you go about thanking an advisor for help? She seemed taken aback by my outburst, but she was very frank about my situation and didn’t sugar coat anything. Talking to her was also the push I needed to seek counseling although I’ve been planning on calling the center for a few months. I want to let her know she made a difference in my life even if she doesn’t feel like she did anything special. I think I will wait until the end of the semester and see how counseling and classes go before I send anything.
Should I send a thank you note? Not say anything at all? Just email her? I thought about sending flowers representing hope and a nice little card at the end of the semester, but I don’t know if she is allergic and I’m worried that sending thanks at all might come off as weird.