Any Bee threw away wedding planning, in the middle of planning ?

posted 3 years ago in Elopement
Post # 2
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Me and my fiance JUST did a complete and total revamp of our wedding plans this past weekend, so I understand how you feel! We’d been struggling for months to find a venue and nothing felt right. Then FFIL came to visit and told us that FBIL’s SO let it slip that they were talking about marriage. My FBIL and his SO were visiting a few weeks ago and told us they wanted to get married, at which point we asked that they wait to announce their engagement until after our wedding. I really cannot stand the woman he’s marrying because of how shallow and petty she is, and she likes to go on and on about how her Daddy will pay for everything and the entire family knows my FBIL is the favorite. So for just once we wanted to have our moment. Once it slipped that FBIL was getting engaged soon (and I’m pretty certain his SO let it slip on purpose) I found myself feeling like our wedding needs to compete with theirs. It was the catalyst that got me to say “Screw it all!” and instead of having a traditional wedding we’re going to do EXACTLY what we want, which means that in place of a formal reception we’re going to rent out a cabin/lodge to grill out, play board games, tell stories, and have fun in a way more similar to what we do when we  usually get together with family and friends. 

Since we made up our minds to do this we’ve gone from feeling defeated and frustrated to super excited about our wedding again. We’re not keeping up with the Jones’, we’re fulfilling our hearts truest desires and planning to have a BLAST at our wedding! Do what feels right. In the end, you want to be having fun while planning and not wondering what everyone else will think. (=

Post # 3
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Excalibur

We paid all the deposits (already on our second deposit on the venue), bought all the decor, invitations, dress etc.  We wasted a lot of money but my mom was making this wedding into something we didn’t want. We decided to go to Vegas with our mothers instead. My mom is still ruining the experience bc she truly doesn’t want to be there but has to play the martyr. Please, do what makes you guys happy!

Post # 4
11 posts
  • Wedding: March 2015

My fiancé and I just totally changed all of our wedding plans. We will now be doing a small ceremony with just close family in the next two months. But on march 7th, 2015 we will still have a reception at the venue we already booked. Seeing as we already paid for half the venue I didn’t see the point in ditching that. So we will be just doing a super fun reception. It will be heald at a local museum so we will do it more casual and party like. We will have food stations (not sit down but there will be a few tables), drinks, dancing and favors. We couldn’t be happier with things working this way. So far all the family members that we have told are totally okay and excited about this also. Not only will it save us money but it will save the bridal party from purchasing dresses and things as this way we will not have a bridal party. Over all it just seems like a better idea and has taken so much stress of of us!

Post # 5
6073 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

We did! We had the venue, caterer, photographer, officiant, STDs all ready paid or deposits down. I was just about to reserve the cake, figure decor, and pick out invitations.    It was all cancelled 4 months before the big day.  My dad was given 3 months left to live.  That was what got us to cancel it all together.  I just did not want to do a funeral and wedding in the same month.  He did pass away at the 3 month mark sadly.  However, before he was given a time frame, I really wanted to bail on the wedding.  People were not really into it and I really did not feel like wasting money on a bunch of party poopers.

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by  sienna76.
Post # 6
42076 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

NauticalDisaster:  You can have the wedding you want. I don’t know if you’ve already booked a venue, or signed contracts, but, if not, you could:

-have an intimate ceremony with just immediate family

-invite your other guests to just the reception following

-have your wonderful foodie meal at lunch(which of course means a late morning ceremony).

  Restauarants offer great deals on their lunch menu. Portions are likely a bit smaller but the    

   food is just as tasty.

– you don’t need music, games or entertainment at the reception. People go out to eat in

   groups, all the time with none of the above. They have a good time socializing.


Work on getting over that need for constant approval.

Post # 7
14 posts
  • Wedding: April 2014

Me and FI decided after a month of harassment from family who insisted that I do things certain ways to suit then, even held my fathers death over my head saying well its only right …. he stood for your father…. We decided on April 7th enough is enough,  we were initially planning for 2016… I am happy to say we are eloping to city hall on April 19th!

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