- 3 years ago
- Wedding: August 2014
I’m a massage therapist right now. I have been self-employed for the last year and a half and business is starting to pick up.
Only thing – I’m not sure I want to do this anymore. There has been so much stress and I am burned out. I’m not sure if it is that I don’t love what I do or if it is that I’m just stressed.
I need to do something though, for my own sanity… whether it is going back to school or getting a job – I will go crazy if I don’t start working more.
Being self-employed is rough. It doesn’t help that I dread going into work… driving 30min. to work is just tiring to go in for one, maybe two clients (it doesn’t help that I don’t like going in anyway – I’m okay once I’m working, but have anxiety about talking to people). I know I’m okay at what I do, but I have never been passionate about it – I do know that. Also, I’m insanely introverter, and having to work so intimately with people is really difficult and actually kind of draining for me, I’m sad to say :/
I had been working at a spa that has since been shut down to supplement my income, but the last couple of months it has just been my self-employment… after rent for the studio I work in and my car payment, I pretty much break even. It is depressing.
But honestly, I don’t know what I WOULD do if I wasn’t doing this. I want to go to school for herbalism, but once again – self-employed….and I’m not sure if I can handle that right now, although I would rather be self-employed than employed by someone else. I am already really “in” with the alternative medicine community in my area and I love it, I’m just not sure about massage specifically. And with herbalism, I’m not confident in my ability to grow the crops I need and that takes time… we’re coming up on autumn and I won’t be able to start until next spring.
I love being self-employed but it is hard for me to depend on myself alone for income. It is strange. And unpredictable.
I just feel like I don’t have any skills or talents, so things that I may even be moderately interested in I just see as becoming a big failure or I wonder if I would end up just not liking it anyway. I’m not really good at anything.
I don’t know what I want to do and I don’t know if this is a good time… with buying a house, wedding planning, etc. Especially since if I went to school, I don’t know how much/if I could work much. I’m making almost nothing now and yet I feel like
I have taken a break from work and I feel like I never want to return, but I don’t want to sit around at home doing nothing either…I want to do something! I feel completely unmotivated though from a year and a half of people taking advantage of me, me stressing myself, making NO money but somehow running everyone else’s businesses – yeah. Ugh.
Any other bees been burnt out or unhappy with your job and switch career paths? How did it go? What did you choose and how did you decide? Were you ever at a stand still where you felt like you needed a change but weren’t sure what?