Post # 1
I am not saying this to try and sound glamorous because this was anything but.
I started to write the back story out for you all, but I think it would be too long and most bees wont read it, so I’ll just tell you. I used to work with this guy, and we were in the same program at school. He began severely stalking me once I turned him down for a date and doing very cruel things to me. This was about 4 years ago. He ended up getting fired at our workplace for sexual harassment as well as banned from registering in the same classes at me at the college and he was put on the Campus Security’s watch program. My biggest regret is not involving the police in the matter.
Anyways, I saw him at a Christmas party last night. Of all places, I am shocked he was there. This was a Christmas party for parolees at a halfway house I used to work at. Pretty exclusive due to privacy issues, and it seemed as though he was invited by one of the parolees.
Now I am all paranoid, I couldn’t even think to stomach any food at the party and people kept saying “is that all you’re having!?” when there were tables of delicious food. Brings up all sorts of horrible feelings 🙁
Post # 3
I am so sorry – especially so close to the holidays to have to see that creep.
Call the police if you see him near you again soon!
Post # 4
I am so sorry you had to experience that, I can’t even begin to imagine how uncomfortable you felt. I have not had a stalker but my college roommate did and it was a very scary time for her and our friends. The kid (he was a college freshman, 18 years old) just pushed his limits, especially once she turned him down on a date. We filed reports with campus security and found out we were not the first people to do that; eventually he had many reports from different people and he was not-so-kindly asked to leave the college. It was really unnerving and she had a hard time feeling comfortable for some length of time. Find comfort with your friends and family and let them know that you saw him so they can be a support for you.
Post # 5
I had a stalker back when I was in college.
He got my phone number without me knowing, showed up at my house, used to ask me out whenever he saw me, followed me around and skipped his classes so he could be closer to me.
I feel your pain. I still get skeezy when I saw him (I have thus moved out of the state), but the only advice I can give you is to just take a breath and say he was invited by someone and not stalking you.
If you see him again in an “intimate” setting (where maybe he shouldn’t have been or would be hard for him to get into), I’d start considering talking to someone to see what you can do legally (I don’t think a restraining order would be in place unless he started getting really creepy).
Just breathe, and forget the creeper. Easier said than done — I 100% know! But here you are, tucked away safe at home.
Post # 6
🙁 I had a couple of stalkers during college. Both only lasted a few months, and because I lived on campus (and had friends who did, too) I felt relatively safe. I didn’t go anywhere alone, never initiated conversations with them (when I could help it. I worked for the dorms at a reception desk, so one of them would show up when I was working. :-/) By limiting my exposure and being cold, I was able to keep them away.
It was a little scary, but not as bad as what you’re describing. Make sure someone you know, knows, and inform your work and the halfway house.
Post # 7
I hate to throw out the word ‘stalker’, but I’ve had 2 creepy experiences with guys who could probably be catogorized as such. One in person, and one online.
The first one was a guy I met while working at a gas station. He was a regular customer, and then he used my name as a reference to get a job there. He broke into the back office to get my phone number, address and school schedule. He started showing up outside the school, and when I confronted him about it, he started calling me at home and telling me he was calling from outside my apartment, although he never was there. I had my neighbor walk around the building to make sure. I approached my boss, and because he worked the night shift which was the hardest position to fill, they refused to take action. So I went to the corporate office and when he found that out, he just stopped showing up for work. The managers subsequently were fired. A few years later, I found out he was asking my friends & former coworkers about me, using the excuse he wanted to apologize, but my friends wouldn’t give up any info other than I had left town. So creepy!
The other was an online guy I met through Myspace (also a few years ago). We would talk nearly every day and formed a pretty good friendship. What I didn’t know is that he was telling his friends we were in a relationship. So one day, while talking, I casually mentioned I had a date that evening so couldn’t talk, and the guy flew off the handle. He told me he would come find me, no matter what it took. He would send me upwards of 15 e-mails a day. Knowing I wasn’t opening them, he would use the subject line to convey his message. He started friend requesting all my friends to try to get them to send me messages on his behalf. Even though I blocked him on MSN Messenger, I could see his screen name, and he would put all sorts of creepy things like, “metalbride has not signed in today, wonder what she’s up to” or he would emulate my screen name, just to let me know he could see what I was doing despite being blocked. Very creepy, and I’m glad he lives across the country from me and he didn’t know my last name or any personal info.
Keep yourself safe, and hopefully nothing escalates.
Post # 8
I had a stalker who I never met. I used to work in a fairly public job, and he must have come into the building at some point because he knew exactly what I looked like, including specific clothes I was wearing that day. Someone accidentally gave him my name over the phone (they asked for the name of the girl with the purple hair, so i can’t really blame her) and he started calling and asking to speak with me a lot, which I initially allowed but later stopped when I realized that he was clearly crazy. He left a message for me at one point under a different name and I made the mistake of calling him back on my cell (I was waiting for a call from a friend with the same name) so then he had my cell number.
He asked me out a bunch of times but used a different name each time even thoughn I knew it was him and told him that my boyfriend would not be into that. I tried to trace the number but it was a prepaid. He somehow either worked near me or something because he would knkw what I was wearing when he left me voicemails (you look pretty in blablabla) Since I live in NYC, it freaked me out because he could obviously see the subway I was coming from.
I had a coworker walk me to the train if i left late after that. I left the job a year ago and he doesn’t call as often- maybe once every 2 months. I’ve also moved apts and now live with the BF so I’m less nervous. It still freaks me out a little bit, but he was never threatening so I didn’t feel like I should call the cops. Just…creepy.
Post # 9
Yikes! No, i haven’t but one of my friends has and she eventually had to get the cops involved and had a restraining order placed, but even then restraining orders eventually expire. Well actually I’m not sure if you can have one that lasts a lifetime. She had to move a considerable distance and change her number several times and does not have any type of social media and her close family members also use pseudo-named on facebook so that he cannot find them. I’d lay low for a couple of days and just be weary of the people in your surroundings. If you notice him anywhere near you again knowing that he could have found from facebook or someone, I’d consider going to the police. I hope it’s just a coincidence, though and he doesn’t bother you anymore. I’m sorry you had to see him again.
Post # 10
Yep, did have one. Was an ex from years ago – and even then, he did strange, somewhat stalkery things (that didn’t last long). He got into contact with me under the pretenses of a job, which I was qualified for (not like it was for something I didn’t know how to do). It was his way of trying to get close to me again.. started calling, texting, showing up at my work and school for a couple weeks. One night, he threatened to commit suicide when I said I wouldn’t get back together with him, then showed up at my work at 11pm that night and waited in his car, after which I called the police. They followed me home to make sure I got there okay. That same night, he took too many pain meds and got into an accident on the freeway and ended up in the hospital for a couple of weeks. After that, didn’t hear from him again.
Heard/saw through the facebook grapevine that he got married recently, to a girl who looks eerily like me, is also an artist, loves musical theater, and plays piano. (my less attractive clone? :P)
Post # 11
I have had my fair share over the years, but I am still reeling from one. We went to school together. He had decided that I was ‘the one’ and was being very creepy in general, so I put my foot down and told him not to have any contact with me. A few weeks later I got engaged to my FI. The next night he called me from the hospital: he had tried to commit suicide, and told me that he would kill me and himself unless I left my FI. I was floored. I hung up on him, and called the hospital and the police station to let them know about the conversation. Luckily nothing ended up happening (his parents apparently got him to move back home across the country after the incident) but I am still really freaked out about it.
Post # 12
It wasn’t really a “stalked” but it could have ended up in me being kidnapped. It was awful.
I was shopping in the middle of the afternoon at a local department store and I kept noticing a man following me where ever I went. I always carry a large purse so I thought maybe he was an undercover “secret shopper” guy following me to make sure I wasn’t stealing (which I definitely wasn’t).
So I went on shopping, in the purses, women’s clothing, shoes, etc and everywhere I turned…he was there. So I went to a register to check out and I saw him standing behind a sunglasses rack staring directly at me. I was only 19 at the time and I seriously almost started crying.
It scared me so much so I went to the service desk after checking out and asked if they had an undercover guy working there because someone was following me around…they said no. But, I thought they probably wouldn’t admit if they did. I started to walk out of the store into the lobby and I saw him peek his head from behind the wall outside by the door like he was waiting for me to leave.
I ran into the women’s bathroom and waited a few minutes then went into the store again and asked for a manager. I refused to walk out of the store alone. Some other customers heard me talking and asked if I was talking about the “creepy” man outside sitting on the curb. I said yes…and this lady said she would go get her husband in their car and she would have her husband, herself, along with the manager, walk me to my car.
When we walked out, the guy was still sitting on the curb and the manager told him he had to leave. They walked me to my car and made sure I got out of the parking lot. I was shaking so bad…I called my BF (who is my FI now) and just broke down. I was SO shaken up! My FI’s brother is a cop and apparently some girl was kidnapped 2 days prior at that very department stores parking lot. SO SCARY! It’s a terrible feeling. I felt violated.
Post # 13
It’s so horrible. Thanks for sharing your stories everyone.
This is true, after he officially professed his love to me and asked me out I said no and that’s when things got really bad. He was furious and said I had been leading him on – how on earth he got that impression I don’t know because I only had eyes for this one guy I really liked and I’m not much for flirting. He began moving towards me in this back alleyway between two campus buildings but I got away. Little did i know one of my professors office windows faced it and she saw the whole thing and talked to me about it the next day. I told her it was fine. But then things started getting worse and later in the term she pulled me into her office and said that numerous times in class he watches me and sits behind me and she saw him watching me around bookshelves at the book store across the hall. She looked over me a lot cause she once had a stalker too and convinced me and helped me set up to get help.
Sadly I still had to work with him and he kept harassing me sexually at work to the point where several staff talked to e manager who then talked to me and he got fired. He did many things behind my back – some i know some I never will. He told me he was a good looking guy so clearly I was a lesbian. He took a petition around work trying to get people to sign it that they won’t “”speak to the dike”. He told people he saw me and my friend who is a girl having sex behind the trash compactor. He called me names and did everything he could to isolate me but thankfully no one bought it.
He would drive by my home, several times after school he followed me home. Ugh.