Post # 1
Get engaged while their SO was out of work?? So as we laid in bed last night, the subject of our engagement came up, and we were discussing timelines….my SO asked me if I still wanted to go ahead and get engaged while he was out of work…(he recently got laid off, over a bs situation, basically his boss’ son is a moron, with a massive temper and is spoiled rotten, he is also an owner in the company…and anytime he is “forced” to work instead of sitting in an office dinking around, someone either gets hurt or fired,and his dad wont do anything about either….and unfortunately my SO got fired but thank god didnt get hurt like he could have because of this D’Bags temper and lack of knowledge for the job….(basically he almost got knocked off a grain bin because of this moron, witnessed by 3 other guys including the guys dad, and still got fired when it wasnt even remotely near his fault, just caused a tantrum for this guy cuz it exposed his lack of knowledge) so im sooo thankful that he is ok….) and we had been saving (well he had), for my ring for MONTHS and so he has plenty to live off of in savings and then some enough for my ring and for it not to be an inconvience, and for him and us to still be comfortable, since i am still working and he is doing odd jobs for people right now until he finds full time employment again…..
Im just curious if any bees had purchased a ring/got engaged while their SO was out of work? did you get any “flack” for deciding to do it then, our families know its been in the works….and hes not planning on being out of work for very long…..
We feel like all things aside this is a good time, everything is working its way into place for us, we have a rental house, and i have a good job, he is hoping the one he is talking to lines up and he has a great oppertunity ahead….soo….
here is what he proposed to me, that we order the ring now, and then between now and when the ring comes in decide if we want to wait until next april or may as we originally planned or to get engaged before then….such decisions…..
so im not really sure why im writing this just maybe as an update to my waiting game, and to see how many other bees dealt with waiting and unemployment…..
thanks bees! idk what i would do with out you guys!
Post # 3
@kansas_nurse: Hmm…well the decision is ultimately up to you two. If it were me personally, I would wait until he had steady employment again. The job market is tough right now and it could be possibly be a while until he gets another good job and even though you have steady employment, you never know what might happen.
Personally, financialy security is my first and foremost concern, I would not make large purchases if I was relying on my savings to pay rent/bills or other things. You mentioned that you two are doing fine now (with your income and the savings), but what if he does not get a job for another 6-12 months, would you still be comfortable? If you think you will be good, then I would consider purchasing the ring. If you have any concerns about finances, I would not.
Lastly, for me, getting engaged means you are ready to plan a wedding/get married. Given your situation, are you two capable of planning/affording the type of wedding/ceremony/etc you want? Obviously, you can do an extended engagement, but I personally did not want that, so I would have opted to wait until finances were in order.
OP, either way, if you two are comfortable with the decision, that is what matters. That’s just my perspective. 🙂
Post # 4
@bmo88: we (before this happened) were aleady planning on a 16-24 month engagement….just as a personal prefrence to do everything comfortablly ourselves….the ring is less than $1,000 dollars and my wedding band was free, and we want something smaller intimate and more relaxed wich is just our personalities….and he already has money set aside from his savings to pay for it….hopefully it wont be an issue after the first of the year if he gets this job….
Post # 5
hubs was in his 3rd year of law school living off of student loans so he was making negative money when he proposed. he didn’t have any job prospects lined up yet either. however, i was working full time and had a good chunk in savings so i knew we could afford the rings and the wedding.
he has a job now but it’s not the “big bucks” we were initially expecting him to make as an attorney. but it pays the bills and let’s us live comfortably. i had faith that he would be able to find SOMETHING and if all else failed, i knew i could support us (even though it would be tight) on my salary alone.
Post # 6
@kansas_nurse: yes we did! FI lost his job right after we started ring shopping. He was out of work for almost a year. We were both frustrated and tired of waiting for another job to get engaged because he had been on soo many interviews and nothing was working out for him. We looked at diamonf alternatives such as moissanite and asha and discussed smaller stones. he didn’t want any of that though. We ended up getting a great year end deal offered to us which saved us about 5k. So we went for it. he put a deposit down and I financed the rest. The minimum payments were low enough to swing for the time being.
so we bought the ring and got engaged! His parents had no idea until after see got engaged. They were super happy for us though a little shocked since they didn’t know it was coming. My family was unaware of his unemployment.
Was it the most fiscally responsible thing to do? No probably not But it was happy news for us during a really tough time. Two weeks later he got a job! After saving up for a few months and paying off other debts he has since paid the ring off in full.
So, it can be done!!!
Post # 7
@MrsWBS: luckily we wouldnt have to finance it…..and our monthly expenses are low….plus i make really decent money…..so i think we may go ahead and order it soonish….
Post # 8
idk…I’m hoping SO proposes this year & he just left his job