Any bees freaked out right before they got engaged?

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

I think it’s fairly normal. You’re kinda at the point where it all got real. I think a lot of people have that moment.

The OMG it’s getting real moment happened for me when we ordered the ring. We talked for months about it and he never proposed per se… but once we ordered the ring I had a minor freak-out. A lot of it was because I spent like a year looking for the perfect ring and I was second guessing myself, but I guess part of it is like WOW WE ARE GETTING ENGAGED.

It’s a big step, really. That feeling faded for me pretty quickly, though. And I love my ring lol.

Post # 4
410 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

YES! But I had it literally as he was asking me! Haha. But I quickly concluded he was asking me something amazing and something I wanted, not if I wanted to commit a crime with him haha. 

Post # 5
6166 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

yes it’s natural to feel this way.  you have a vision in your mind and know you want it. but now it is going to become a reality.

it’s a giant step.

right after FI and I got engaged, a few times as I was getting ready for work in the mornings, I would look at my sleeping FI and ask myself is this what i really want, it this what i want to go to sleep next to and wake up with for the rest of my life.  and i do. i know it is what is right for me. warts and all.


Post # 6
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@SGAL2012:  I went through the EXACT same thing except I found out two months ahead! I lost some serious sleep to the same thoughts and feelings you are having. I think it speaks to how serious you recognize the committment to be. You are either being a reasonable person in recognition of what is to come OR you and I are both crazy as sin!

Post # 7
1927 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Yes! I had an anxious/’Am I doing the right thing’ feeling in the days after I got engaged (and the days after I got married!).  I think it’s normal to question an engagement, moving in together, getting married, etc, because they are huge life altering events! 

Post # 8
342 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

For me, I was freaking out about 401K’s and mini vans and the terrifying sound of HOLY MATRIMONY. The kind of things that have more to do with the institution of marriage and all its social obligations. But that’s not what marriage is. That’s just stuff.  Scary stuff, if you think about it too hard, but just stuff. The side items, if you will. My marriage is really only going to be ABOUT me and FI. It may INCLUDE uncomfortable transitions, new social obligations, etc… but that’s not what its ABOUT.


You gotta compartamentalize. I was giving myself a complex trying to think about whether or not I was ready for all the little (unimportant) details, but finally took a deep breath and realized… If there was no such thing as marriage, I would “date” FI for the rest of my life. I would follow him to the ends of the earth and love him so much it very well could be unhealthy. He’s humble, respectful, hilarious, and ridiculously hard working… and THAT is what I’m marrying. Not that other “stuff.” He and I will handle that together.

Post # 9
4576 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I’m not engaged yet (will be by end of August) but it could be coming any day now. I woke up this morning having a mini panic attack about the same thing. You are not alone!

Post # 10
1234 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Yessum. I did.

I think it is perfectly normal for some people to have a ”freak-out”. I sure as hell did.

Think about it, this is the BIGGEST decision of your life, it’s forever. I decided to stick with my man, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have second toughts or freak-outs along the way, even weeks before the wedding. I do suffer from GAD (anxiety), lol.

Post # 11
1599 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I totally did. I was a complete mess for weeks leading up to when I thought it would be, but then a few days prior I was so clueless (he did a couple really cute things the day prior and I was like “wtf is wrong with you why are you being so nice?”- never occured to me that he was building me up!)


Enjoy the feeling!!

Post # 13
3268 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I’m not engaged yet, but we did go on a trip when I thought it might happen. I was working hard to convince myself that it wouldn’t, so I could prevent myself from being disappointed if it didn’t, but there were moments when I would be almost convinced that we WERE going to get engaged on the trip, and I’d feel sick and dizzy and have mad butterflies in my stomach and think, if we ARE going to get engaged, OH MY GOD! Is this really the right thing? I am as confident as I think I’ll ever be that it is, but it’s still a scary thing to think about.

It hasn’t happened yet though. Right now we’re in a sort of rut where we talk casually about our future and our future kids and throw around wedding ideas (which we try to pretend are hypothetical but we both know it’s a way for us to less-nervously discuss our own wedding), but there does not appear to be any concrete progress, like looking at rings or him talking to my parents. I think when something concrete does happen, I will probably have these freak-outs again. I don’t know if I’ll still be in a state where I’ll have them when/if we finally do get engaged (supposedly it is likely to happen by next April, but who knows. . .). 

An annoying statistic that my SO is (annoyingly) liking to throw around lately is that getting married is the 2nd MOST STRESSFUL THING anyone will ever experience– the only thing more stressful, according to wherever he dug this up, is the death of a spouse or child. Sooooo. . . there you go. 

Post # 14
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

We went on a 7-day cruise before he proposed. I honestly had no clue there was anything in the works.
To be honest, I decided that if he was going to do it on this trip, it would be on this beach that I had been talking about since we booked. It didn’t happen, so after that I relaxed and enjoyed my trip much more than I was before then!

He proposed the day we got back (he was having the ring made while we were on the trip), on our couch. It was lovely and so low-key.
I wasn’t terribly excited right before he asked – all I wanted was a nap! 😛

Just relax, have fun, and take it easy.

Good luck OP and I hope it’s the proposal of your dreams!

Post # 15
637 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’m so glad other people went through this too! I totally had the feeling for a week or two afterward. 

Post # 16
885 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Yes, I think this happens a lot.  I had a freakout when we went to look at rings… I didn’t even want to go in the store, my FI had to literally pull me by the hand because I just froze.  The day before he proposed (I knew it was coming) I was weirdly calm though.  

Just make sure you are calm when/if you paint your nails beforehand! 

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