Post # 1
So, something has been kinda pushing my buttons recently and I’m wondering if any of you have been though something similar.
My DH is currently applying to be a Deputy Sheriff with the local department — it has been a dream of his for a couple of years now. He has successfully made it through 5 out of the 6 tests — he is one of 36 (out of an original 800 applicants) left.
I love him dearly and always want to support what he does…but there is a little part of me that is scared to death of him working in law enforcment. While he was in the process of applying there was a local deputy sheriff killed while on the job, and of course it got me thinking again.
So my questions is this — how do you other Bees deal with your SO/DH/FI and their potentially dangerous jobs? Any advice for a Bee who is new at this? Any tips? (Oh and BTW, DH and I have talked about this and he does know how I feel…I’m just wondering if there are things that help you to not worry about it so much!)
Thanks Bees! 🙂
Post # 3
My FI is a police officer, he loves being a cop and I support him although I do worry 🙂 I’m acustomed to his odd hours.. good part is he isn’t a morning grouch like me 😀 so we’re good.
Post # 4
my fi is an ironworker… i believe his job has one of the highest death rates (of trade type jobs) in the country… hes up on steal beams all day…. i mean they are sposed to ‘tie off’ (per osha) but we all know that doesnt happen…. it does scare me… but its a great job and he likes it 🙂
Post # 5
So basically, do we just deal with it because we love and support them? I would much rather that he be doing something he loves than something that he has to settle for…
Post # 6
My husband works in a bank… certainly not putting himself in the line of fire like police officers or anything but I still worry every time I hear about a bank robbery//hostage situation 🙁
Post # 7
My BF works in radio, which you would think is relatively painless. Well, the station has gotten threatened a few times. Obviosly by some wingnut, but they got a restraining order and everything. The person threatened Jews (among others) …boyfriend is Jewish. A person also followed one of the workers to the office. Scary business.
Post # 8
Gosh, I guess danger can find you anywhere. I always laugh at myself slightly when I really stop and think about it — I mean, people die just driving to and from work every day!…I suppose we really are not in control of things like environment.
Post # 9
my hubby drives heavy equipment…one wrong move or sticking joystick and he can kill himself and others, hit a gas line, flip over..I think every job has it’s risks, and it’s our jobs to worry.
Post # 10
FH is a Boilermaker and it is an extremely dangerous job. I just do what I can to make to his life easier. I make sure he get a proper breakfast before work every morning, I don’t want to worry about him on the iron while being hungry. I make sure his cloths are ready so he can get ten more minutes of sleep in the morning. I also make his lunch for him so I know he is eating right, or he would just throw two sandwiches and a bag of chips in his lunch box. I also do my best not to stress him out when he is on a job, stress means he doesn’t sleep well.
Post # 11
My FI is a commercial fisherman, and used to be a pro-wrestler. There’s not a day that goes by when he’s on the boat that I don’t worry about his safety, but honestly, I worried about him more when he wrestled!
The thing that helps me the most is when he checks in with me. He will call when they are one the way in, and then again when they get to the dock. This makes me much less worried.
Good luck, and it does get easier!
Post # 12
My partner is an HVAC technician/gas fitter, while it doesn’t sound dangerous, he has to deal with emergency gas leaks and burner/motor systems all the time. Last year he was injured in an explosion and recieved 3rd degree burns.
Scariest thing ever.
But he still loves his job, and I try to be as supportive as possible because I know that explosions are usually just a fluke.
Post # 13
My FH is a police officer and I know what you mean about the unease with them being in a potentially dangerous field of work. My FH and I were together through his entire process in becoming a police officer from deciding that was what he wanted to do, to all the training and transitions while working his way into a full-time position.
We had a pretty eyeopening experience this past summer when he was involved in a 6hr stand-off with a man who had access to multiple firearms etc and was threatening to kill himself and others. He was to be off duty at his usual time and I didn’t hear from him. A few hours after his shift was to end and i still hadn’t heard from him, I began to worry… then a family friend said they heard a call over their radio (he was a fireman) for a signal 1000, which is emergency silence over the airwaves. I knew at that point that I hadn’t heard from him because something serious was going on, so at least I knew he was at work, knew to watch the news etc… his safety on the other hand was unknown.
It was terrifying and I didn’t hear from him for a full 5 hours after his shift should have ended when finally he text messaged me to let me know he was involved in it, that he had been extracted from the area and was safe. A few hours after that point he was finally able to leave as the situation had come to an end (the man ended up killing himself, SWAT entered the home etc. but they found suicide by police letters on this guy’s person… SCARY).
In the end what got me through it, and helped us both through it afterwards and to keep our faith in his career choice was that I trust him, I trust his instincts, and know he has a great head on his shoulders that will help to keep his wits about him, and keep him as safe as possible. These high intensity situations don’t happen often… and although I’d never be naive enough to think someone could dodge them all together, I do take comfort in the fact that he has plenty of training, continues to improve his knowledge through further training, and is my sensible, smart and sharp guy.
Post # 14
Boy, compared to some of these jobs I feel like a goober for worrying, but it does worry me from time to time that Mr. BrassBand plans to work in a high school. Frankly, teenagers are nuts, and when you take a bunch of people going through hormonal havoc and put them in an enclosed space, crazy things can happen. I think it’s also because my mom works at our local high school and has dealt with kids threatening her verbally and even had a student pull a knife on her last year…yikes.
@wbninja: I guess I think it’s really true what you said about how danger can find a person anywhere…I think the best thing you can do is do what some PP’s have said and support your man where you can, and trust him to do everything he can to keep himself safe when you can’t.
Post # 15
My husband is a police officer. It’s somewhat worrying, but I just try not to think about it. I trust that he will do everything in his power to bring himself home at the end of his shifts. I just try to keep things in perspective, that everything has an element of danger, and you do what you can to mitigate it. You could just as easily get hit by a bus walking home from the corner store… At least when he’s working his guard is up, and he’s prepared to deal with dangerous situations.
The only time I’ve been really worried was the one time he was 14 hours late coming home from work. He got on a call, and just couldn’t get to a phone. He came home to a sobbing mess of a wife, and strict instructions to do whatever it takes to contact me in the future if he’s more than 2-3 hours late. You can always radio into dispatch and have them make a call for you.. grrr.
Slight side note, if your husband does end up going into the field, I highly recomment the book “Emotional Survival for Law Enforcement: A guide for officers and their families“. I read it a couple years ago, and it was spot on with a lot of things I notice about my husband.
Post # 16
FI is a mechanic. He works under lifts on cars all day. All it would take is something to fail, and he could be gone. He’s busted himself up and gotten stitches recently. I don’t worry too much because my dad is a mechanic too and has been for over 25 years with no major injuries just arthritis and some scars.