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I keep seeing and hearing a lot of people around DH and us giving up their furbabies when they have a baby. I'm sure it's a challenge but as long as my furbabies don't put my human babies in danger then I could in no way imagine giving them up, they are family.
Did anyone have furbabies before they got pregnant? Did you have to give your dog up? Any adjustment issues?
I don't have babies, but I'm worried about my cat scratching my baby when I do have one. She scratches me a lot, even though I know she doesn't mean to
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@redheadem- I don't have cats so I don't know much about them but I remember hearing once about the nail covers you can put on their nails or something like that. I know declawing is cruel but I'm wondering if something like that could work.
@redheadem: Nail caps! I used to use Soft Paws. Mine were to keep my cat from scratching the furniture, but they could also keep them from scratching you!
I don't have kids but I can't imagine getting rid of my two kitties for anything short of them hurting the child. Which I can't picture happening because my cats are pretty chill. I know there will be adjustment time, but I'll be prepared.
@hotchildinthecity- I'm with you. My dogs are trained and amazing around children and some people who I know her are giving up their dogs, their dogs are great with their kids. I just can't imagine it.
We won't try to have children for a few years but we definitely won't get rid our of pets (dog and cat) when we do. My dog (beagle) is great around children and I'm sure the cat would be fine as well, based on her behavior.
Our pets are a part of our family. I honestly think it's irresponsible to get pets then give them away a few years later when you have children. Pets are a commitment.
I have three cats. I use soft paws on one of them to keep her from scratching the furniture. One of my three cats is in a habitual bad attitude but she can't jump/climb things anyways so I'm not concerned about our children. As toddlers, they'll learn not to touch the cats. My cats also have their claws trimmed regularly. I would only be worried if the pet bites.
This post makes me so upset :( I loved my dog like it really was my baby. I took her everywhere with me. She was great with my 4 yr old bonus son. He could pull her ears and poke in the eyes and she would just take it. I never had any concern about her and children. When I got pregnant, she started acting aggressivley towards my crotch. She would start to sniff me and try to bite me down there :/ Then the further I got in my pregnancy she started peeing on me. She would pee on my feet, she would pee on me in the middle of the night, she wouldn't stop. I took her to the vet and he explained that some animals who are very close with their owners can have a negative reaction, when they smell a hormonal change. After a couple months of trying to deal with it, we had to give her up. My heart is still breaking.
I hear about and see this all the time. It really pisses me off. Someone on fb recently posted that she hopes her 14 year old cat dies soon so she doesn't have to worry about her son picking up hair off the floor. Seriously? Who thinks that? She adored this cat for 14 f'n years but now she just wants it gone. Pets are a LIFETIME committment. Ughh, I am getting angry just writing this.
We don't have kids yet, but as soon as we find out I'm pregnant, our puppy is going to school to learn how to love a human sibling. She is our baby right now, and she gets all of our attention (well, shared with our ferrets). She loves children, but I think she will have adjustment issues. We would NEVER surrender her-- she's our little girl! But, we want her to be happy with our new baby as well. So, we'll all take classes when the time comes so she can be as excited as we are.
We have 2 dogs, both who are 6 years old. We have no plans of getting rid of them, though they might go stay with my MIL for short time after delivery. They've been in our care since 8 weeks old, and we plan on keeping it that way until they die.
We have a cat and have had her before muchkin was born. Cat is very weary of muchkin and leaves him alone. We also do not allow the cat in muchkins room. Lately she does come up and smell him but doesn't do anything.
We have two dogs that we had long before we decided to TTC, and we haven't had any issues with our boys adjusting to DD. In fact, they LOVE her (probably because she drops food during dinner and sneaks them treats from the pantry, lol) and she loves them. The first thing she asks for in the mornings is to see the dogs. :) It's very cute.
Even though it can be a little trying on my patience, I couldn't imagine giving up my puppies. And, luckily, we haven't had any behavioral issues to deal with, so there's never been a need for us to.
I can't even imagine getting rid of our animals (a dog and two cats currently) because we have kids... My dog has special needs (he's deaf and because of that is really shy around new people) and will have some adjustment to us having a baby but he's been around a 1 year old crawling on the ground and did just fine so I'm sure having a baby around and being around it as it grows up will be perfectly fine.
The cats on the other hand won't be happy about it, but they will adjust just like they did when we got our dog.
I don't have kids yet, but we're deff not getting rid of our cat when we do. My parents and FI's parents both had cats before we were born and we turned out okay. :) Never understood people giving up their pets when a kid comes along (unless of course the pet is causing a real threat to the baby).
This always makes me laugh: http://catexpert.blogspot.com/2011/01/must-re-home-urgent.html
@mwitter80: that's so sad! Was she a little dog or a big dog? Either way that's scary when your baby turns on you like that!
My boxer Lulu was my first baby. I picked her a week after she was born and brought her home when she was weened from her mama. She was my only child for almost two years, until my son was born. She is the most loving and gentle dog in the world. When he was a baby, she would stand with her paws on the side of his crib and check on him when he made a noise. As he started to become mobile, she because his blankie, stuffed animal and step stool. (I have a picture of him at age 6 months on his knees on her belly, trying to climb onto our coffee table...while she laid perfectly still to help him.) When my daughter was born, Lulu took her right into the pack without issue. My kids are now 5.5 and 4 and Lulu is their best friend in the whole world. She sleeps next to my son's bed everynight and plays football with him everyday.
I have a friend that had to give up her dog when she had a baby. The dog snapped at her child, and after that, they decided the best thing was to give him up. Thankfully her parents took the dog and they are still able to see him.
I don't think I could bare to give up my dogs when we have a child. Sure, it'll be an adjustment, but I love my dogs dearly, and they are part of the family as well. I don't know what I would do if I was in the situation my friend was in, but I surely hope we won't be. Both our boys have been raised around the neighbor kids (all varying in age, including young ones), and they both have taken an interest in them. Our biggest issue is our 80lb lab (1.5 years old now) knocking kids over, but he just wants to lick them to death.
We have 3 dogs. We would NEVER give them up just because I'm pregnant! Pets are a comitment for the lifespan of the animal!
Not to mention, it's better for kids to grow up around animals. Kids that grow up with pets have lower risk of allergies and asthma. (And I think it's good for kids to learn how to act around animals and take care of them properly.)
@o0olibelulao0o: She was a puggle. The attacking me I really could have dealt with. The peeing on me, was a health hazard for me and could have endangered the pregnancy. Plus having a 4 yr old running around we can't really have animal urine all over. It was so heart breaking. I was so upset for weeks and we tried so many things to get her to stop peeing on me. It was awful. I miss her everyday.
@TinyTina: That article elicited one of my weirdest sounding laughs to date hahaha!
We have conditioned our dogs since we got them to be tolerant of fur pulls, ear tugs, hard petting, and just about everthing else a small child that is learning how to treat animals might do. It might seem a little harsh (considering we don't have kids yet), but it's better for everyone in the long run. You may want to consider something along these lines for your furbabies. It will break your heart a little in the process, but my dogs are exceedingly gentle around small children and have never responded negatively to an errant ear tug.
Ninja Edit: spelling
@mwitter80: I am so sorry, my heart breaks for you, because I've had to give up a dog. I found her a good home, but I cried for weeks when it happened.
I think there is a big difference between people who rehome their animals due to health/safety concerns, and those who don't take the time to adjust when a baby is added to the family. It sounds like you did everything you could do to make your situation work, and that you didn't just "give up" on her.
Our baby isn't here yet, but I pray all the time that our cat and dog adjust well, because I don't ever want to have to find them different homes. Ever.
@mwitter80: I completely understand, hope it didn't sound like a judgement! I was just wondering because it sounded like a problem you would have with a small dog moreso than a big dog... small dogs are so sensitive and get SOOO attached to their owners and can be VERY blatent about their dislike for change. That's such a sucky situation though, I'm so sorry you had to go through that!!
I could never, EVER imagine having to give up our dog when we have a baby! I am slightly worried about how things will turn out when we have a little one, though, since our "current little one" (the dog) is actually a "BIG one"! He's a 2 year old malamute, and rather large and a bit clutzy, so he's knocked people down before. But he is the SWEETEST guy...has never snapped at us or intentionally bit us (got my hubby's finger once when they were playing tug-o-war, but immediately started licking my DH as if to apologize right after). We're getting him used to being around children right now, and so far, so good! For some reason he has figured out that he needs to be sitting if kids come up to him, so he doesn't turn around too fast and knock them over. :)
I have read/heard about/seen this and it makes me so upset. I literally cried the other day (PMSing much?) when someone said "You'll just love them less, they won't be your babies anymore." I was like...To hell they won't. These little cuddlebugs have been here with me as I cry about our chances of having kids, as I recover from surgery, and as I lost my grandpa. They instinctively know when I'm upset and BOTH come lay in my lap (not easy - they are big!) and lick my tears away.
Sorry, no. Unless there is some HUGE MAJOR life-endangering change in either of them, they will continue to be a part of our family. And honestly, the most I can see doing is having them become outside dogs...and it would have to be to the point where they were being aggressive towards a baby or otherwise acting out. Sure they'll have to adjust. And I know we'll make the best decision for our future child, but honestly their behavior would have to drastically change like @mwitter's dog or something before we'd entertain the possibility.
I know a couple that got rid of their dog because it barked right after they put the baby to sleep. I get that that's tough, I get that they can be frustrated, but SERIOUSLY?
Okay, I'll stop now....Off to go play nice somewhere...
This is something I worry about...DH got his dog about a year before we met. I've never ever told him I feel this way, but I miss my dog I had growing up (had her since kindergarten and had to put her down shortly before I moved in with him a year and a half ago), I just have trouble feeeling any attachment for his dog, he is so the opposite kind of of dog I'm used to and he is awful about jumping on little kids, peeing everyhere, etc. I've tried everything that worked as far as training goes with my old dog and it just seems that nothing works. I'm considering some kind of help training him, obedience school lessons or something, that I could do with the dog before we start trying to have children.
He is a daschund and I know they tend to be particularly stubborn and hard to potty train, but it's just frusturating. I care about him, but...you know how sometimes parents say they always love their child but sometimes they don't like them that much? I feel like that about my dog! It makes me feel like such an awful person/pet owner, but I just want my mellow easy-going golden retriever/lab back sometimes!
@o0olibelulao0o: I didn't think you were judging. No worries.
I know it was best for her too. She was so stressed out and DH was getting so frustrated with her and yelling at her all of the time. She is now with a friend of ours who is a single female who doesn't plan on having any children. She is being so well taken care of and loved. (it's nice to be able to see pictures of her still too). She lives next door to a dog a park and works from home, so she's never alone, and seems to have it made.
@Wonderstruck: I completely understand. Dachshunds tend to be pissy little irritable dogs, and while I am through and through a dog person, I've never really warmed to them. I like big cuddly goofy dogs.
I would definitely take your husband's dog to a good obedience school. There was a yappy little terror in the class when my parents and I took their yellow lab to obedience training, and the instructor knew just how to handle him so that he couldn't get away with being a bully.
I am 20 weeks pregnant, and I have a 140+ pound Newfoundland dog, and a shelter kitty. I have absolutely no plans on getting rid of them once the baby is born. My pets are my best friends, and I have done everything I can so far to prepare them for the arrival of the baby, and will continue to do everything I can to ease the adjustment for everyone. I grew up with pets throughout my childhood, and my parents had a dog when I was a baby, so I know that it can work.
I have little concern for the dog, other than his clumsiness, he loves babies and small children, and would never do anything purposefully to hurt them (he has knocked my friends toddlers over once or twice, he always looked like he felt bad about it).
The cat might have more trouble with the transition, because he is kind of a crazy stress-case, but we will try to do our best to keep him calm, and keep him away from the baby.
Both pets were a bit stand-offish when I was incredibly sick during my first trimester, but both have warmed back up since I have gotten those symptoms under control. My dog even puts his head on my belly when I ask him "where's the baby?" it is super cute! I know we will have to make adjustments, but I will also have lots of help in the first few weeks, so I think that between me, my mom (who they love), and DH, we can help make things easier for them.
@MrsCarnival: I also conditioned my dog since it was a puppy to put up with the kind of treatment it can expect from small kids! People thought it was weird, because I was single when I got him, but knowing he would grow to be 140 pounds+ made me very aware of socializing/preparing him for kids.
@AmeliaBedelia: "You'll just love them less, they won't be your babies anymore." I was like...To hell they won't. These little cuddlebugs have been here with me as I cry about our chances of having kids, as I recover from surgery, and as I lost my grandpa. They instinctively know when I'm upset and BOTH come lay in my lap (not easy - they are big!) and lick my tears away.
I couldn't agree more, it is like you read my mind.
My furbabies are my life and for now we aren't considering children in the near future. If we did become pregnant the four legged children would stay put. Should any behavioural issues arise we will cross that bridge with patience and training as failure is not an option for us and our little pups.
@mwitter80- I am so sorry to hear that. I know I could never give up my dogs because they too much work or simply because I had a baby but if their personality changed and put anyone in danger I know I would have to.
I think its such bullshit when people give up their pets just because they have a kid. It’s one thing if the pet will put the child in danger (but then why would you have an animal like that anyway) or he/she was allergic but to just give your furbaby away because you have a human baby is sooooo not ok with me. We would NEVER give up our kitty when we have a baby. Lincoln (our cat) is part of our family and will be until the day he dies. You made a commitment to that animal when you adopted him/her. It’s very traumatic for them to lose their family. Lincoln fell into a deep depression and developed pancreatitis when DH and I were gone for a week on our HM. I couldn’t imagine what would happen to him if he gave him up. It makes me sad to even think about.
When my BIL & SIL announced that they were pregnant, my SIL’s BIL (confused yet? Lol) TOLD them that they would have to get rid of their cat. According to him, you cannot have an animal around a baby. This is also coming from a man who literally cowered in the corner when their cat (who pretty much just sleeps all day and doesn’t bother anyone) came into the same room he was in. It was the most pathetic thing I’ve ever seen. It still makes me laugh when I think about that grown man almost crying because the cat was within a few feet of him. Thankfully my BIL & SIL are not as stupid as her BIL is and they didn’t listen to him. Guess what? Our niece is 4 months old and the cat hasn’t affected her in the slightest.
@TinyTina: OMG HYSTERICAL I love the kids peeking out of the carrier!
I consider my dog my first 'baby', but....he is very dependent on me and I was told by the vet that "I am his sun, moon and stars..." meaning...he is literally obsessed, HAHA. He has a lot of anxiety and he looks to me for everything.
This being said, I have a lot of anxiety about my dog and future children. I know deep down that he has a high chance of becoming aggressive to either me or the baby - or both. I'm not sure what we will do...I'm going to give him a chance and do all the steps to 'introduce baby' to him the right way, but if he becomes a danger to the baby we will have no choice. I know he will be very upset with something else taking my time and focus from him. He is a little monster but I can't imagine my life without him, so I just have to hope and pray he takes it well someday when a baby arrives.
@Ms Mini: Exactly. My dogs aren't anywhere near the size of a Newfie (Corgi and an Aussie), but they still need to be taught to be gentle. You are very lucky though...aren't Newfies supposed to be the best dogs for families with small children? I thought I had read that somwhere, but I could be wrong.
I have 2 dogs. There was an adjustment period for all of us, the one dog started pooping in the house and when you're sleepless with a newborn that is soooooooooo irritating. But there's no way I would give them up. They did take a vacation to grandma and grandpas while I recovered, which was a good thing. Now that baby is a bit older she loooooooooooves them. I can see why people give up their pets, baby is overwhelming and then you have hyper pets because mommy is tired and not giving them as much attention as they're used to but it gets better and everyone adjusts and everyone loves everyone.
MsMini- Your dog sounds way too cute! My dogs sit with me while I wait for the OPK results each day so DH and I say it's really a family effort ;)
I have 2 boxers and my mom is convinced the male will be living with her (which she'd love) shortly after the baby comes. I'm the first to admit he's not a huge fan of children (our girl boxer is) - but DH and I keep thinking he'll adjust. The dog has been mine since before I was even with DH, so it would be heartbreaking for me to part with him. He's the sweetest boy ever, but can be such a bully. We'll see!
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