Any bees in GRAD school and struggling to plan a wedding and money issue

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@inspiration86:  I SO feel you!! My FI and I are both PhD students. We can’t wait to finally graduate! We’re currently in year 5 out of 6 for our program and unfortuanately are dealing with the most stressful time of our program all while planning our wedding for May 2014. To add, we will probably move to separate corners of the country a few weeks after we get married for a year or two, depending on post-doc.

I feel that no one really understands the stres that not only goes along with school, but not having jobs that make money. I’ve been working weekends at a customer service job since starting grad school to help make ends meet, but that doesn’t do much.

This week we actually had to cancel a portion of our honeymoon as we realized that there was no way we could afford the honeymoon we wanted with the possibility of having to pay for two households with our eventual move

I just tell myself that it will get better, and I’ll make up for it in the near future with the money I’ll earn, but it’s just so hard watching others my age buying houses and making money while I’m still a “student”

Post # 4
Member
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I sooo can not wait to graduate! I have two more years of grad school then a fellowship year, ugh. I seriously want the money now. FI is graduating in December so it’ll be nice to finally have some income and start putting more towards our mortage. We did splurge on the honeymoon though and sorta regret it sorta not. It’s on a 12 month payment plan so it’s not so bad, but our reasoning was we will have kids soon and can’t take a trip like this for awhile. I definitely understand the financial issues though. I was lucky to have undergrad paid for with no debt but grad school is a different story. It will get better! Good luck to you!

Post # 5
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

@inspiration86:  I just have two more semesters to go and I’m up for a promotion to a “real” job, so I’m starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But it has been really hard. It hurts to spend money on school stuff when all I want to do is save for the wedding. We set a date for 10 months after my graduation and although I want to get married sooner, I’m grateful for the extra time.

Post # 12
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I also am in Grad school.  This is actually my first semester, and it has definitely proven to be difficult.  I am still working full time and going to full school time, so, I have very little extra money, and I have even less extra time.  It certainly makes it difficult to find time to go to wedding planning appointments.

Post # 13
Member
2880 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 1998

@inspiration86:  it may seem tough now  but with a great education you will get there. 

I know  many people who have things just handed to them in life so I know hard it is to not feel some resentment towards others. 

Post # 15
Member
2205 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I’m with you all!  I’m in grad school.  FI is not though, so there’s some income.  But, since I go to school in a different state than where he works, we have that distance thing.  And he doesn’t want to move just yet because he loves his job and is trying to build his resume, which I completely understand.  It was a mutal decision to wait til I was done, since it will be easier for him to follow me at that point.

I am SO SICK of people saying we shouldn’t wait to get married.  Um, not only is distance an issue, but since he’s just starting out with a job and has some student loan debt, and I’m in grad school with little time to plan a wedding, it’s just better for us to wait.  When we got engaged we decided that waiting 3-4 years is OK.  But tell someone that, and I feel degraded since they ask what the point is of getting engaged now is.  Because we plan to get married?  Sorry we don’t fit your perfect cookie cutter mold of a perfect relationship.  Unless you plan to give us money to get married, have him move to me, and cover his potential lost wages in that move, you don’t get to tell me I need to get married immediately.

… Obviously I am bitter, haha.

Post # 16
Member
2880 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 1998

@inspiration86:  Love is way more important than money I so agree with that saying. With love you can conquer the world hehehe:) try not to be jealous of others because you never know what goes on behind closed doors 

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