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I've been a wedding officiant for nearly two years. Since I don't go to receptions and I've only been doing it for about two years, I don't have a ton of connections in the wedding industry yet, and I often would do the preliminary vendor searches with my personal and anonymous email address because I didn't want to burn any bridges with vendors I didn't end up hiring. It actually backfired on me when I was communicating with a very over enthusiastic DJ who I had NO interest in hiring, who then turned out to be the DJ at a wedding I was officiating at!
I do get wedding overload sometimes, because I do it all in my spare time - and my work time is wedding inspiration, writing, and research too! But we've also been engaged and planning for a long time, so I take frequent planning breaks when I get overwhelmed.
How about you, leelee?
Hi Gilneas: I work in a hotel that does a lot of weddings..I used to be the Banquet Manager so I've seen it all! Now I oversee corporate events and high profile guests at the hotel but share an office with the catering manager who details the weddings....I think that working in this industry has helped me be a more savvy bride...know what to ask..what to negotiate..when to push the envelope, when not to...
We're having a small wedding compared to most..this is my second marriage, his first, only about 50ppl, central park..luncheon after with dancing out that night..I scrapped all of big wedding details...it was too stressful and honestly, we didn't think it was us...
The thing Ive noticed lately is the number of stressed out brides who are micromanaging every tiny detail and not letting the wedding planner take that on...I know we all want a perfect (or almost perfect) day....but honestly, when brides get that way, it only makes the wedding coordinators want to run...a stressed out bride can create a stressed out staff...hotel....all across the board....
I'm trying not to get that way....but can understand how it happens.. 
Thanks for sharing!
i'm a wedding photographer (for about 3 years) so i have experience of the actual day of events, but getting there is the hard part! i'm obsessed with having all the details perfect because as a photog, i notice them... probably more than the guests!
Hello! What a great post!
I work in Special Events for a hotel - I create contracts, coordinate, and oversee the event. We do about 300-400 events a year, with an average of 8-10 weddings. I graduated with a degree in culinary arts in 2007, and have been working in my position since.
It definitely helps - I know so many vendors and planners. For example, one rental company is giving me cocktail tables at $5 instead of $8, since she knows me so well. Every little bit helps. I know timelines, set up, etc.
It hurts in the aspect that I have so many other events before my wedding. I had to be careful in choosing a date not to interfere with our previously booked weddings. I feel like people expect so much from our wedding, since I "do this for a living."
It's hard not to get idea-overload, since there are so many cool things you can do. It's also hard not to gush with a client about everything you're doing instead of focusing on them.
I think "being in the industry" helped. Im not in the wedding industry, but I work in catering and it really helped me with my wedding. I know all about packages and how you can break them apart, what you can add or subtract to meet your budget and I know from connections with other vendors to rent my own stuff. I rented my own linens & chiavari chairs and got a discount whereas if I had rented through my venue they wouldve upcharged everything.
I think being in the industry both helps and hurts! I am a graphic designer and I create invitations, websites and photo albums for weddings.
So far, it has helped me find a great photographer (for a good price) that wouldn't have otherwise been known. Also, once I get to printing invitations, I'll know how to save myself a lot of money.
However, I've noticed that at times I put client's work above my own wedding stuff since its the stuff that actually pays!
And of course, the harder to measure stuff. Since I actually know how to design, I feel like I have a higher standard set for our own wedding stationary and website! So far so good though :)
Thanks bees! I think we should start a post about what to ask for when planning..the stuff the books don't tell new brides! .what's negotiable..stuff like that..since we know how it works, I think it gives us the advantage..but also reminds us of what not to do and how to be savy but not pushy!
Being in the industry helps tremendously especially when it comes to prices-I have been in it for 15 years and you can "collect" on favors for your wedding big time by being in the industry it definitely has its' perks
I'm not in the wedding industry but I do plan corporate events as part of my day job. I definitely think it made things easier - I knew what to expect when I plan a 150 person event for work, so I knew the type of work it would take to plan my wedding! Plus, I re-used a bunch of my work templates for things like catering contracts, bands, florists, etc. as well as having a really good idea of what my timeline for the entire event and day of would need to look like.
@AprilBride10; that's my profession too! Conference Services Manager..aka..corporate meeting planner, oversee corporate groups who have meetings and stay at our hotel....I love it!
Great topic.
Being in the industry (event planner/event designer/DOC for 4+ years) has both helped and impeded me at times...
It's helped for the obvious reasons - contacts, general knowledge, budget, etc. I've also been able to cut out things that I know people aren't going to pay attention to/remember and focus more on memorable small details. It's also been helpful because I've seen so many unexpected things happen (good & bad) that I feel like I'm prepared to accept whatever my day brings and roll with it... At the same time...I've seen unexpected things and I know how unexpected they sometimes can be - if that makes any sense. So, I tend to go back and forth from very "whatever will be will be" to "omg, what if this that and the other thing happens - I must control everything".
It's strange being on "the other side." I definitely know that this experience is going to make me even better for my clients, solely for having been there, done that and truly understanding the dynamic from having lived it.
I'm also feeling that pressure of throwing the most fabulous event that every one of our guests has ever attended (all the while on a budget!). I always strive for that feeling of fabulosity, but I definitely feel like my guests will have very high expectations since this is my career.
I love planning weddings, but this is definitely going to be my first & last for myself!
leelee - isn't it a fun job?! The hours can be crazy sometimes but I love feeling like I have a front row seat to food/decor trends! Super helpful when I was planning, though I felt like kind of a snot when I visited vendors who were all about the "new big trend" that I "had to have" that I had been seeing at work for ages now!
AprilBride..I agree, i love it when they try to tell me theyre giving me a deal when I know better..luckily we're not doing a big wedding..but I'm having fun with the vendors!
@miss meepsie: we're at the same place mentally!!
I'm not engaged yet.. But I own an event design/planning company. I started my company almost exactly one year ago (yay me!) I have helped people with weddings for about 10 years though. I am very apprehensive about everything because my wedding HAS TO BE couture. sophisticated. chic. modern. and stylish (which are my tag lines and on all of my promo items)... scary thing is that COSTS!! and I don't necessarily have a great deal of money. as a matter of fact i have no money... even being pre-engaged, the details are driving me crazy. i am afraid of selecting a photographer lol afraid to hurt a different ones feelings (if that makes sense). i also know that EVERY client will ask to see my pictures and i plan on using a lot of my pictures for promotional items etc. for example there will be tons of diy projects and special quirky things (because I am quirky)... but how do i do this on a less than appropriate budget? M doesn't want to spend one INCH over what he deems is appropriate. he tells me all the time that i can do a wedding for 1500!! because he sees what i do for clients on a budget. problem is my wedding has to far surpass it... unfortunately he forgets that we have to pay for catering, a venue, etc. i only want 50 guests at most.. which also poses a problem because i have a huge family. i have already decided to forego the save the dates and to just send out invites in the regular amount of time and if the OOT guests come awesome. I think the amount I'll feel most comfortable with is somewhere near the 3000-5000 range.. we'll see... (okay i'm freaking myself out thinking about how the heck i'll do this and WHEN the heck i'll do it)... I have recently become booked for nearly every weekend in june, possibly one in July, and tons are sprinkled throughout the year. I have a large show coming in February and if history serves me correctly that will give me bookings throughout the rest of the year which leaves no time for me to actually get married.. and M thinks all of this is unimportant.. He's like oh everything will be fine. NO. you need to tell me when we are getting engaged so I can plan this. (sorry freak out :D)
does anyone know if we can write off a portion of the charges for promotional items, sort of like a mock wedding (even though it's not a mock wedding??)
Oh CreBre, exaaaaaaaaaactly. Yes, yes and yes, to all of that pressure & stress & sticking in budget but expressing your fabulosity as an event designer. I feel you girl! The nice thing is that once you set a date, hopefully you can save by calling in favors to some of your preferred vendors. It's so much easier to do chic on a budget when it's someone else's budget. At least you have parameters and guidelines then. For me it's a case of everytime I purchase anything be it groceries or getting my hair colored at the salon, I think in terms of "oh, that's another plate" or "that's a bouquet". It's SICK how it has invaded my life. But I am so happy to know I'm not alone!
In terms of being so booked - hey, that's a good thing! Don't stress it - that just means more $ for your wedding. :) Why do you think I'm getting married in the middle of January in NYC? It was the only time that I wasn't booked with enough buffer to run around like a headless chicken before & relax right after! Just be thankful you're in LA & don't have a frickin freezing offseason. ;)
re: writeoffs - obv am not a tax pro, but from what I know from friends in the industry, there's ALWAYS a way to write off. :) I'll check into this & let you know.
@meepsie: omg YES YES YES!! top if off with kids and M's business and it's crazy. luckily he owns a club (that he has already veto'd as a venue.. it has a cool funky fab 70s vibe)... but it's like omg do i want to spend that much money when i could spend it all on advertising?! then it's like YES and i could just use this as advertising, etc. i love the winter january wedding, it's sooo romantic!! lol we are tossing around christmas eve/christmas day for the same reasons or the week between. i don't care about the days or anything like that, it doesn't have to be a weekend, but M wants a friggin' two week honeymoon (which would be okay if we choose a December non-traditional date, and it would squeeze our guest list into nearly nada yay!!) but louisiana gets cold it was like 40 degrees today 
....
well, we toss it around until psycho boyfriend says no i didn't say that. i really would like to choke him :D lol!
OH, you poor thing - 40 degrees! HA! I'd be at the beach right now if it suddenly jumped ALLL the way up to 40! ;) LOL. Our "real feel" temp is 9 right now. NINE! Argh!
Winter weddings are romantic, but less so when you are having to deal with the potential for DIRTY day old NYC snow and a white dress.
Oh, I would so UNveto the club as a venue! If M wants to be a stickler on the cash, he should compromise on the venue!
Yup, my entire ad budget for the year is being sunken into this event. LOL.
I'm also finding myself constantly trying to balance myself on the boards here. I want to be a regular bride, but at the same time, not. Does that make any sense?
I CANNNNNOT imagine doing this with kids! Wow, lots of cred to you. My FH has his own business too, so I got you there. Luckily, I was able to milk it for some wedding related items - he's an illustrator & graphic designer. Helllo custom invites and other such paper goods. :)
@meepsie: that's what i say too, but i think he doesn't want to have to "worry" about employees etc. but i can definitely see an afterparty and brunch there :D... as far as M, we'll definitely be able to get a great price on liquor (talking at cost here :D) bartender will be cheap as will the food if we choose because he can easily get a caterer's license that most places require. i am sooo torn on so many things and i really just cannot wait to research venues etc. he doesn't want to go with anything historical (and that's my number one thing)... we'll see who wins. i have quite a few vendor connections with various venues and i am sure i'd get a decent deal, especially because i am thinking of a totally off day... i am sure my mom would prefer a friday so i may go with the friday but we'll see... heck christmas eve falls on a friday next year, right? lol!!
as far as the boards go, i RARELY discuss my vendor status, but the advise here is sooo good that i couldn't pass it up. usually i give advise as to what i would or wouldn't do the same as i do for my clients (so yeppers i give advise i'd be paying for)... i also really like how smart the bees are and how really good they are at helping others. i also like being under the radar because i can just be a girl and wear the vendor hat when i chose to, it's not like everyone is looking at me as being the all-knowing wedding vendor, i can actually well relax and have fun without the pressure...
Ah CreBre - I swear you are in my head! That's exactly what I mean - I don't want to be all I'm a vendor this, I'm a vendor that, but at the same time, want to share tips I've picked up being in the industry & ideas that I've used or had come to me from previous events. It's nice to relax and have fun, but at the same time be able to pull out the vendor hat so that others can benefit from our experiences. :)
And yes, these bees are amazing. :) It's so impressive how wedding savvy so many of the ladies are for first time planners! :D
Once the uncertainty of your when is removed, I'm sure you will fly through the planning process. LOL, maybe that's why M's keeping you on pins and needles - since your engagement will be more of a whirlwind of decisions. Enjoy this pre-engagement bit as the regular girl. You know it's going to happen, so try to relax while you still can! :)
Speaking of relaxing, I'm going to bed before I go eat something that I don't need to be eating at 2am!
i'm eating ice cream now lol!!!!!!!!!! and pethaps you are right about the timeline... i wish i could have a short engagement though.... march 6th would rock... lol i guess we shall see...
nite girlie!!
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I was wondering if being in the industry in any way makes planning or enjoying your wedding planning more difficult? Or do you find your knowledge helpful?
I find it helpful but realize I'm more aware of what can happen and am more controlling because of it but also more laid back about some things....