Any bee's who aren't close to their mother?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
274 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2018

Hey there, let me just say, you are not alone!

I have a terrible relationship with my mother, my parents divorced when I was 15 and I stayed with my father. My mother is also totally uninterested in my life, and very vain.  The only time she contacts me is when its getting close to an occasion when I am expected to gice her a gift (mother’s day, birthday etc) and then she doesn’t contact me for months, and when she does, she is mean and nasty, and always asking how much I pay for things (she is long term unemplyed and seems to see me as wasting my money).

A lot of other bees have a not so good relationship with their mother too, and its sad that during what is supposed to be the happiest time in our lives, our mothers are AWOL. 

Post # 4
Member
577 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Stranger516:  You’re definitely not the only one. My mother was abusive and I’m about to cut off contact with her. I’m already estranged from my father, and have no family who I love and trust besides my husband and our baby girl. But they are the family that matters most to me. 

For me, I don’t feel like anything is really lacking in my life, I don’t miss having a good mother because I never had one. But I know it’s hard to see other women who are close to their mothers, especially when you are getting married and having a baby, which are the times when you’re supposed to be closest to your mother. I just hate it when people assume that I must want to see my mom and she must be so helpful with the wedding, baby, new house, etc. But you will get through it and you’ll be stronger for it. 

Post # 5
Member
929 posts
Busy bee

@Stranger516:  Half an hour away may seem like a big distance, but it’s not really. Maybe start planning weekly dinners with your dad, brother and grandfather so you know you’ll get to still see them regularly. My closest family member is a 40 minute drive away, which is one of my brothers, my other brother is over an hour away. Like you, my parents divorced when I was 10, Dad got full custody of me after the courts found in my favour that my mother and her then bf, now husband and father to my half sister, were guilty of child abuse, neglect and an AVO was taken out against them on my behalf. My dad is one of my best friends, we know each other inside out. My nana, his mum and my aunty, his sister, are my mother figures and they’ve all moved out of state, this sucks, but I try to call as often as I can and will be seeing them for Christmas this year.   

I don’t speak with my mother at all, but my brothers do. They have their reasons and I rescpect that, just like they respect my reasons for not talking to her. To be honest, life is much more drama free when she’s not involved. I don’t have to worry about her bullshit and that makes me a million times happier and a better person. 

My SO’s mum, has actually said to me that she now considers me to be one of her kids, even though SO and I aren’t engaged yet and would be honoured if I call her mum. You said You have a close relationship with your BF’s mum, cherish that. 🙂

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