Post # 1
I am the kind of bee who hates the idea that some people view engagement rings as a status symbol, as opposed to their inherent meaning. I have to preface this by saying that when I got engaged, my fiance presented me with a gorgeous three-stone ring, with a sizeable centerstone compared to other couples our age. When I first saw it, I did not know it was “big”, as honestly I had never looked at engagement rings and when he had inquired about what I wanted, I told him “simple”.
Flash forward to two years later and I still cannot get used to this ring. While I know it’s not the biggest ring ever, it’s big enough that people comment on it simply for its size and have made me incredibly uncomfortable. I find it a little odd as I have never been one to comment on another person’s ring and if I did, it wouldn’t be on the size! I find myself frequently turning it over so the diamond sits under my finger because I do not enjoy this kind of attention, or assumptions about my wealth or socioeconomic upbrining. In short, the ring is not me.
So, I’ve been fantacizing lately about having one of the side stones set as its own engagemet ring. It’s not only for aesthetic reasons, but also practical as I am pursuing a career in medicine. I finally brought up the subject with my FI, and while he sympathized he feels that if I feel that strongly about it, I should just wear my wedding band in my every day use after the wedding. I realized then that it’s a source of pride for him that perhaps I can’t understand and that I need to just drop it.
Still, with all of the hype these days about carat size, bling, sparkle, diamond quality, etc., I can’t help but wonder if I am the ONLY woman who would rather have a simple setting with a beautiful smaller diamond as opposed to something more flashy? When did the obsession become focused so much on carat size?
Post # 3
I’m with you. I told FI I wanted a simple and tasteful ring, not a huge stone, and just a very classic setting. I don’t wear a lot of jewelry and I don’t wear any bling, ever (my biggest piece of “statement” jewelry is pearls…). For me, one of those huge rings would have shown me that my FI didn’t know me at all, or know my tastes.
That being said, there are some absolutely gorgeous and enormous rocks on this site! I think if it fits the girl, it’s a great thing. For me, small was what I wanted; for others, the bigger the better. It’s all a matter of taste!
For the record, I despise the people who say “People who say they like small rings are just jealous.” I’m not jealous, I just don’t like big flashy jewelry for myself!
Post # 4
I love small, simple diamonds. I also told my FI not to spend too much and that I didn’t need a big rock. We were in the process of buying a house and I said I’d rather spend the money on the house. I’ve always liked simple rings so the one he gave me is perfect.
Post # 5
I prefer my smaller side diamonds on either side of my larger center stone, haha! Sorry. Seriously, I hear what you’re saying, and not everyone wants to wear a blingy ring. And you should love your ring because it is something you wear every day. Having one of the smaller stones reset into a ring you love more sounds like a great idea if it would make you happy. For whatever reasons you have to change it, it’s not wrong at all to recreate it into something you will enjoy and be at peace with every time you look at it.
Post # 6
@abbie017: “For the record, I despise the people who say “People who say they like small rings are just jealous.” I’m not jealous, I just don’t like big flashy jewelry for myself!”
THIS. I have seen this said several times on this board and each time it makes me cringe. Honestly, one of the most beautiful rings I have ever seen belongs to an aunt and as it was purchased during the 70’s, I’d be surprised if it’s .4 carats and as a nurse, it suits her so well.
Post # 7
For me it really depends. If we’re talking solitaires, my favourite size would be about 0.66-1.5ct; for me, anything smaller looks too small and gets lost, but anything bigger looks too big and flashy.
If we’re talking a cluster , I think anything above .75 starts to look a little too blingy (mine is a .66ct cluster and is fairly big); and if we’re talking a halo, I think anything bigger than a .75 centre stone is a little too big for my personal tastes.
This is not down to jealousy, and if I was loaded, I’d quite like to buy a massive ring just for fun, as a cocktail ring. But as an everyday ring, bigger rings are too much for me, and many of the larger rings I’ve seen just don’t look very classy IMO. Sometimes, less is more.
Post # 8
I love small diamonds, not really tiny, but not big either. I have small fingers, and anything over 1ct would have looked huge on me, I love the diamond I have, perfect size for me, and my dream ring 🙂
Post # 9
@fembride045: I’m glad I’m not the only one!
Post # 10
I have size 7 fingers, so anything less than a half carat tends to get lost on me. But I LOVE smaller diamonds! I owned a quarter carat old miner cut diamond and it was a little fireball full of sparkle and fire.
Post # 11
I think that it depends on the girl. I don’t wear jewelry, EVER. And even then it is usually understated, like brushed metal or something like that, no real sparkle. That being said, I like the look of a larger center stone (like 1-1.5 carat), so that’s what we are going with. BUT, I think it depends on what looks good on the girl, and her personality, etc. I have seen women rock 3 carat blinged out rings, and also considered a .25 carat soitaire to be just as beautiful.
I think that if your FI is set on you not changing your e-ring, maybe change it to a RHR for special occasions, and just wear your wedding band. If you want ring with a stone in it for your left, maybe look into a small, simple diamond as an anniversary/christmas/birthday gift?
Post # 12
I LOVE my ring! the main diamond is a quarter carat, not big at all. I prefer it small. I’m definitely not into the “status” symbol behind a bigger ring. If anything, I think the ring I have is much better quality than that of girlfriend’s of mine with bigger diamonds. Plus, it means more to me because my FH picked it out himself (I was completely surprised). I couldnt be happier
Post # 13
My FI got me a .5 carat and I think it is the perfect size. Its not too big that it is a bother to me but still a nicer size. He was really proud that the one he picked out is very clear and not discolored because he believed its better to have a nicer looking smaller diamond than a bigger cloudy one. It does bother me that other people I know have a big center diamond and diamonds all down the band and have a halo and assume that my FI doesn’t love me as much or he didn’t have the money even though I wanted a solitaire. He could have affored a bigger one but I wouldn’t have been comfortable with how big it would have been. I’m not jealous of theirs, I’m just hurt that my ring is judged so much.
Post # 14
On the flip side, it is possible that a girl would want a bigger diamond/stone for reasons other than just turning their ring into a status symbol. My fingers have always been a 7-8 and I wear a 3/8ct. diamond on my pinky! It would not look right, imo, on my ring finger due to my ring size.
For your situation, it sounds like your FI would like you to keep the ring he chose for you as-is, which is understandable on his part. I agree with him about wearing a band to work if the ring makes you uncomfortable. You can also get a small diamond solitaire (1/10 – 1/4 ct) for less than what it would cost for you to get your original ering tweaked and a brand new ring made from one of the side diamonds by a jeweler. That way, you could only wear your larger ring on occasions where you feel good wearing it and still have a small diamond for general wear.
Post # 15
I do! My center stone is .36ct, and while sometimes I think it’s a little small, I tried on bigger ones and didn’t like them. It looks perfect on my hand. My dream anniversary ring is a half ct! I just don’t like flashy jewelry. I like everything to be understated and simple. Not to mention, I smack this one on everything as it is. Haha.
Post # 16
My short answer…nope. 🙂
Would love to see a pic of your ring. Could you post one?