Post # 1
- Wedding: August 2014 - Forest in PA
I was diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder as a young teen. I have been able to find ways of coping all of my life with out medication up until planning for this wedding. I used to do yoga almost daily. Until I got engaged and the wedding planning started, and I can’t afford yoga classes right now since almost all of my money right now is going to save for the wedding with some to spare for an emergency fund. My yoga room is filled with boxes of glass wedding items, so doing yoga in that room right now isn’t ideal.
I was doing so well with my anxiety about the wedding until recently as we get closer to the big day and I need to start making big decisions such as timing, songs, etc. Things I have been worrying about vary. For example, I live in an apartment, the neighbors downstairs smoke. I am so scared they are going to burn the place down when I am not home and all of our stuff will burn. Or not getting all of our projects done in time. I really don’t want to get on medication if I don’t have to, I believe in more natural methods. How do other brides cope? Any one use lists or other methods to help? I am scared I am going to turn into a bridezilla or something as we get closer to the wedding. I don’t want to make the whole experience not fun for my bridesmaids, or my FH.
Post # 3
Commenting to follow. I have a hard time managing mine and just thinking of doing the receiving line or talking to our small number of guests makes me panic. I can barely get a hug from FMIL without having a problem so I’d love to see what other bees have to offer
Post # 4
- Wedding: August 2014 - Forest in PA
@waitingforthering2: I have the exact same problem!!! I hate being in public and having people look at me, or touch me! I can’t even dance which is part of the reason I wanted a ball gown so people can see my legs while I am dancing!! haha I am nervous about people touching me, or spilling wine on my dress.
Post # 5
@Brittanyrio: Same here but I opted for a long train to keep them away from standing near my back. Few people understand it but FI has gotten better at navigating people around me to limit the amount of contact. I dont think i can avoid it on my wedding so I am having nightmares about it but dont want to think of my wedding in the future as being a complete mess inside. It also doesnt help that I will be starting a new job shortly before that will be tons of stress too.
Post # 6
@Brittanyrio: I too have anxiety issues. I take meds for it. In order to keep myself free of anxiety I’ve chosen not to have a wedding but to have a planned elopement in the courthouse with our parents and our children and then go out for afternoon tea. We won’t tell anyone about it until the last minute so I don’t have to listen to people trying to change my mind. We may have a house party for our closest friends a month later. I’ve tried to focus on the only things that matter to me which are my children being there, having really good food and chocolate. I don’t need the limos, flowers, music. To make it easier on myself I would plan the wedding early on in the day because I get more tired and anxious as the day goes on. I hope to have a massage that morning to help relax me. If I get a little too anxious then I’ll probably pop another pill to calm down.
Post # 7
I have anxiety too, and I think getting closer and closer to the wedding will make it worse. I take Valium rarely if it is really bad and I can’t sleep, but Valium doesn’t do much except help me sleep so I avoid it. When I do have anxiety I try to breathe through it, or curl up in a ball and scream inwardly or into a pillow. Punching a pillow helps too! Also commenting to follow because I would love to hear other people’s ideas!
Post # 8
@Brittanyrio: Commenting to comment later.
Post # 9
I too have anxietY and it’s been hard at times. I’m 11 months through a 19 month engagement. I did that to give myself more time but honestly it’s made me more stressed at times.
I’m also depressed about being stuck in a job I hate and both things are collectively bringing me down.
I thought wedding would be fun, but it’s been stressful. I hate panicking about every decision and second guessing everythzing, and not trusting myself. I feel sad about it. I’m sure the day will be fine when it gets here but I’m afraid my worries will ruin it before I even get that far.
You aren’t alone.
Post # 10
I have anxiety but honestly I never even thought it could be medical until wedding planning. It was the biggest nightmare of my life without a doubt. I thought I’d calm down a few days before but nope. It was even worse. Things weren’t done, I had panic attack after panic attack, it was literally a hurricane outside and I’m just with my anxiety causing, drama filled family making it a lot worse and my husband is out partying for a late bachelors party. He’s the only one who can calm me down. Its a time of my life I chose to forget.there’s very few good memories I have and just as I was afraid they would, the pictures aren’t that good. Still haven’t hung any up and part of me doesn’t want to. I’m married and the wedding is over and that’s all I care bout. I wish I would have known or I would have put myself on medication and I am a huge natural cure proponent.
Post # 11
Yes, I suffer from Anxiety over nothing, and over everything. I also get panic attacks from social situations [sometimes even talking on the phone to people I dont know]. It keeps me from sleeping, and eating. It also makes my heart race and makes me feel like everything is always WRONG, even if it’s not that bad.
I allowed myself PLENTY of time to plan the wedding, [engaged Dec 2012 and started planning then], but now that the wedding is slowly creeping up, it’s gotten MUCH worse. I haven’t been sleeping alot lately, and I think I’ve just been thinking about too much wedding stuff.
The only relief I really get is just getting out and doing something other than wedding planning for awhile.
Post # 12
I have heard of a few herbs that are supposed to reduce anxiety because they are naturally calming. But haven’t tried them. Omega 3s and chamomile supplements are the ones that stand out to me but there are others. You can’t take chamomile supplements during pregnancy is all but that’s the main one so idk I might try it anyway even if I’ll have to stop for 9 months.
Getting healthier has helped in the past. I cut down on my caffeine intake which definitely helped. I realized I was on edge all day sorta jumpy and getting upset over small things if I had more then one cup of coffee
Post # 13
I don’t take medication now, but honestly, I’m just hoping that the day of the wedding, that a little liquid courage will help me. How else, is someone with GAD and soxial anxiety, supposed to get up, and speak in front of almost 100 ppl. I have based my entire life on not having to speak in front of ppl, and now I’m doing it willingly. It keeps me up at night between the planning, and the thought of being n front of so many ppl. Sorry, no real solutions, but just some sympathy!
Post # 14
I take meds for my anxiety. Day of the wedding, I took a whole one instead of half. Haha. 🙂
Post # 15
For me, I was doing fine until I got to 2014. Something about the fact that we’re in the same year as the wedding flipped my panic switch. I don’t think I’m going to have an issue with the people part of it, becuase I know almost everyone who’s going to be there (except maybe a plus one here or there) but if it were a crowd of strangers that would be another story.
For me, talking out all of my anxieties with FI, my mom, and/or my MOH helps. They can hear me say all the things I need to do (or feel I need to do) and they can either help me cope with it (breathing, hugs, scritches) or try to actually help me do it. This weekend FI and I are skipping a cousin’s birthday party we didn’t really want to go to anyway so we can put together invitations. I already went to a coworker’s bridal shower this week, I don’t need any more forced social interaction.
Oh, also with all the projects, I try to make myself focus on only one per day. Like Saturday I ordered my garter and something for the honeymoon and then I was okay because I could check that off my list. Another day I focused on photography. This weekend we’re doing invitations. Stuff like that. If I feel myself becoming overwhelmed with it all, I talk it out and then make a list or pick one or two things to focus on.
Post # 16
Honestly? I had to get Xanax. It sucked, and I hadn’t been on it for many, many years before the wedding, but I was *so* anxious that I ended up taking one early in the morning and another on the way to the venue.
I was freaking out all the way up until I started walking and when my husband turned around to see me and I saw his face, everything was instantly better. And then when I was standing there and looked over and saw my closest friends and family (we only had 50 people) smiling at me, it was like a calm just instantly washed over me. And then everything was fine the rest of the day.
For the planning, I ended up making a checklist for myself and marking off stuff as I did it. As the day got closer, I started delegating remaining tasks to other people (I got married during midterms, man I was a dumbass hahaha) and trusting them to do what I wanted. It worked out just fine. 🙂 Good luck!
And be mindful, things will go wrong, things will not look the way you expected, things will not end up where you want them to go. Some things will look better this way, others may not, but you are going to love it no matter what! Nobody at my wedding was like “Ugh the lights were put under the table cloths instead of over the windows!” they were like “Dang the lights under the table cloth was a nice touch!” Lol. And none of my signs that were supposed to go throughout the entrance of the park to lead people to the reception site ended up there, they were instead placed off a light pole in the totally wrong place and it was windy so they weren’t weighed down and flopped everywhere. But everyone still showed up! Lol. Just relax…Nobody will even notice the little crap. They will love it no matter what.