Post # 1
I’m Chinese-American but have a Chinese first and last name (both very easy to pronounce and my first name is unique, so I never got an “English” first name like “Grace Lee” or something). My FI is white and has a very English last name, which I wouldn’t have considered taking EXCEPT for the fact that in my professional life, I’ve been mistaken for a fresh-off-the-boat Chinese person before. I would get comments like “your English is so good!” etc, even though I was born in the U.S., grew up in the American South, and speak fluent English. I think changing my last name would be an easy solution to this problem, but I’m a little concerned about how it would look to have my [Chinese first name][English last name]. Has anyone done this, or know of anyone with this combo?
Post # 2
I have it. It’s fine, hasn’t amounted to much difference, as I changed my last name for personal, not business reasons. I figured people who judge, will always judge no matter what. If you have a white last name but look Asian, people are going to assume something. If you have an Asian last name, people will assume something. Pick the name that makes you and your husband happy.
Post # 3
melonseeds: I’m half asian but my name is very, very Irish (and old fashion–the only people I meet with my name are over 70). People are so confused when they meet me LOL People make so many assumptions based on names. Do what YOU want to do, not what will make it easier for other people.
Post # 4
xtals: I suppose I already made up my mind about this — I am not taking my SO’s last name when we marry for this reason. My name flows really well, and the typical “Jones,” “Smith,” or “Brown” just doesn’t sound good with it — if I say it out loud to people I know personally, they crack up laughing because it sounds absurd. I agree with PP though, do what makes you happy. I am keeping my last name because it doesn’t sound ridiculous, but if you think your names sound nice and you and FI are happy with it, then do what you want. Also — I feel you on the comments about birthplace/language too even though I was born and raised in Chicago: “So, where were you born??” “…Chicago” “Oh you speak Indian?” “Nope, English and Spanish…” I think this will happen to me the rest of my life, because as I’ve also been told: “Oh you don’t look American” whatever that means. lol.
Post # 5
I’m the opposite, I’m white and I’ll be taking a Chinese last name. I suppose I’ll be surprising people who I give my name to for appointments when they meet me for the first time. haha
Post # 6
I have a asian last name but am taking a polish last name.
Post # 7
I’m the opposite in that I have a very English name and a non-english last name. I very happily took my husbands name because I like that my name is a blend of cultures.
Do what you want, people are going to judge either way (which is so absurd).
Post # 8
My mom is Chinese and immigrated to Canada when she was 7, so she doesn’t have an accent or act “FOB-like.” She took and kept my dad’s “Canadian” last name even after they divorced. She didn’t want to be judged/discriminated against in the workforce due to her (very Chinese) maiden name. I understand, but I still think it’s sad that some people are treated differently, just because of their name.
Post # 9
- Wedding: May 2014 - Our Lady Scapular and Inn on the Twenty
I am Vietnamese and took my husband’s German last name.
Post # 10
I’m the opposite, I’m white and DH is Filipino so I have a Spanish sounding last name. I’m also a teacher in district with a large Hispanic population so I confuse everyone when they meet me.
Post # 11
I discussed this with not-yet-FI this weekend – he’d like me to take his name but I’m not sure yet (I’m Asian, he’s not). Perhaps I just need to get used to hearing/seeing my name with a non Chinese surname. Jury is still out, so can’t help except to say it definitely should be something of personal preference to you, and not how you will be perceived by strangers.
We received a package last week that hyphenated our surnames – bless the seller for trying – and seeing it in print made it clear that my surname does NOT hyphenate well.
As for ‘your English is very good’ – I reckon I will hear that regardless of my surname. I tend to respond – I should hope so.. I don’t speak anything else fluently.
People already assume I am mixed, so upon finding my surname is Chinese the conversation often runs like this:
‘So your mother is caucasian?’
‘Are you sure?’
Post # 12
CountingSheep: they: “are you sure?” Seriously?! What is wrong with people?!!!
Im not surprised i get where did you get the name “XXXX” from….which is my middle name. My answer: You’d have to ask my dad why he gave me an English middle name.
Post # 13
xtals: I am known under an English name followed by my Chinese names. My FI is English from Irish descent so when I take his surname I’ll be known under (English name) (Chinese name) (Chinese name) (Irish surname) haha! I’m looking forward to my new name(s).
Post # 14
xtals: not me, but I girl I went to school with was half japanese and had a japanese first name and a very irish last name (think o’something). She also didn’t look japaese at all, so I’m sure some people may be confused about her first name. I thought it was a really cool name though, I like the mix of cultures.
Post # 15
I’m also the opposite. I have an American first name and Taiwanese last name, now. It is fun to see people’s reactions when they see me in person. Not what they always expect. 🙂