Post # 1
I am so conflicted about what I am doing with my last name when I get married. I am hoping that some of you will have a brilliant solution for me!
Part of me wants to change my last name to FI’s last name, but I have this nagging feeling that I am losing an important part of myself if I change my name.
My last name is 13 letters, FI’s last name is 5. I like my middle name since it’s a family name. I feel like I have no option except to keep my last name or take FI’s last name.
If you have a long name, what are you doing in terms of your name when you get married?
Post # 3
You can do whatever you want. There are no rules! Seriously. You could be First Name Middle Name Maiden Last Name FI’s Last Name. If you want it all, take it! Or you could be First Name Middle Name FI’s Last Name Maiden Last Name. Or cut and paste as you like. It’s your name; you need to be happy with it.
Personally, I kept former husband’s last name because my child was small and I thought it would be confusing for her if our last names didn’t match. Later, when she was older, I went back to my maiden last name and found it very empowering. When I marry Boyfriend or Best Friend, I will take his name, perhaps because it is unusual and I want to show solidarity with him, and that I belong to him (not in a bad way). Good luck!
Post # 4
Thanks Mermaideve. I understand that I can do whatever I want. I just don’t feel like I have many realistic options. If I hyphenate my last name, which I want to do, my last name will be 18 letter plus a hyphen! I am just not sure if that makes any kind of sense. 🙁
Post # 5
I know how you feel – my first and last name combined is 20 letters. I thought of hyphanating but then my last name alone would be 18 letters! I also thought of adding his as a second last name but for now, I’m just going to go by my original name. Seems like the easiest option for me right now and if someday I want the same last name as our kids, I’ll add his name at that time.
Post # 6
My last name is 10 letters (and 5 syllables). My fiance’s last name is 9 letters. My middle name doesn’t have much meaning for me, so I’m making my maiden name my middle name and taking his last name.
Before I met my fiance, I had though it would be awesome to marry someone with a short one syllable last name so I could hyphenate, but I’ve come to terms with taking his name. I agree that we don’t have many realistic options when it comes to names. I don’t think it is practical at all to hyphenate or have two last names. I’m pretty traditional, so I’m ok with changing my name. If I were you I’d make myself have two middle names (middle and maiden) and use his name as my last name.
To keep my family name in the family, we’ve discussed naming future children after our familiy members (some first and some last names). Maybe if you have a daughter you could name her your middle name so it would continue on.
Post # 7
I kept my middle name and dropped my maiden name. Have you thought about adding your maiden name as a second middle name? That way you won’t have to worry about putting it in those tiny boxes on some government forms but you will still have it.
Post # 8
my full name right now is C
(first name) E
A— (middle names) M
i generally shorten it to just my first name and one of the first two last names, depending on where i am (one is more of legal reasons, one for more social reasons)
I am definately giving up my last names for my Fiance. his last name is only 5 letters as opposed to my 21 combined letters.
Post # 9
I like the idea of two middle names. How does that work? I would legally have two middle names, but only use one on most forms?? I guess I am confused! So would my social security card have both middle names, but my drivers license only have one?
Post # 10
My last name is THREE, yes, 3 letters long. FI’s is 9. My hand doesn’t comprehend how after my first name it has to write so long! 🙂
I don’t think you “don’t” have options… I’ve seen hyphenated names where the maiden was long… In fact, in my case, I think it would sound better in a hyphenating scenario if his name was first 🙂
Post # 11
My first name is 9 letters long, I’m attached to my middle name (so no dropping it, and it’s short anyways), my maiden name is 7 letters, and so is my married name. Despite the fact that the SSA originally told me my name was too long to fit, I still kept all 4 names. Turns out it does fit, but that’s a different story…
I use my maiden name professionally, and my married name for everything else. I rarely have to sign both last names (I made sure to get credit cards with just my married name), so I don’t have to deal with the ridiculously long name very often.
I added my new last name without the hyphen so that legally I can chose either name to use on documents. I think you can keep all the names you want to, and then decide how you will actually use them. I’m glad I didn’t have to give up my last name, but I can still feel like a part of my new family at the same time. Good luck!
Post # 12
My last name is only 9 letters long, and somewhat difficult to pronounce, while the FI’s last name is 6 letters long, and a bit cacophanous. I’ve thought about hyphenating, but it would just sound/look awkward.
Either I’m keeping my name or I am taking his; so far it looks/feels like I’ll be keeping my name–FI would be thrilled if I took his name, but is ok if I don’t.
I guess I’m in the same boat as you and don’t really know.
Post # 13
i have a fairly long name
the amount of letters in my maiden name (yes, there is a dash in my first name)
xxxx-xxx ooooo xxxxxxxxx
7 + 5 + 9 = 21 letters.
my married name will only shorten it by 3. (6 in the last compared to 9)…
but when I sign things – even credit card slips – my signature is my full first name plus my last – and it takes a while to sign when we have tons of papers TO sign (imagine closing papers on a mortgage!) My maiden name just has a lot of high letters (d’s & l’s) whereas my maiden name takes a much shorter time to write. lol
for me though – even if my husband’s last name was twice as long as my maiden, it wouldn’t have mattered. i LOVE my maiden name – but i’m a traditional girl and have never thought twice about changing it.
Post # 14
I’m going from a 3-syllable very Italian last name, to a 4-syllable very German last name. While I’m bummed to be losing a little piece of myself, my past, my heritage, I’m still the same lady who’s joined forces with a really cool dude. Good enough for me 😉
Post # 15
My full name is Rosanna Ingrid Bella Ragnild Johanna Karlsdotter Munter. Now if that doesn’t take the cake for the longest name here, IDK what does! My partner took my last name.
Post # 16
I went from 26 letters to 29 letters when I got married so it really didn’t matter anymore if three more letters were tacked on since I’ve never really fit on those standardized tests.