(Closed) Any bees with SOs who are recovering addicts?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
784 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@phillygirl629:  I don’t, but my dad is… It’s not a fun story, so I won’t go into details. Just wanted to send my love. I know it’s hard.

Post # 4
1587 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I dont have a SO who is recovering but my step dad has been in recovery for 4-5 years now. he is doing really well and i would like to send out my well wishes and happy thoughts to you and your family. a gret support system is a huge part of his recovery. 


Post # 5
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Have you looked into resources like Al-anon?

Post # 7
258 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

My Fiance in his teenage years was hooked on crystal meth,he was a total tweaker and thank god by the time he was 23 he completely stopped cold -turkey and hasn’t done it again .he’s 28 but he fall of the wagon with drinking a few years back..I remember being home with my son worried if Fiance was going to be piss drunk and Yup he would come home stumbling and cursing at me…it took a lot of crying and prayer and intervention from my family and his for him to realize the pain he was causing to is and himself..I’m happy to say he is doing great as of now but there’s always something that scares me about him being around alchohol ..one drop can cause him to spiral down that road..and we talk about it openly now and I tell him my fears but he reassures me that hes strong ..I think its been 2 years that yes been alchohol free..and I’m so proud of him.

Post # 9
5892 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

My Darling Husband is a recovering alcoholic. But he got sober before we met. He didn’t do detox or AA, just figured out what worked for him.  He fell off the wagon about 6 months before we started dating. But hasn’t had anything since then.

I know it’s a stuggle for him sometimes, but it helps that we don’t have alcohol around the house (being alone and ‘bored’ is his trigger). His bigger struggle is not smoking. With drinking he can remember how it effected his life negativly, so it’s easier to stay away. With smoking, he lovingly remembers how it made him feel and there were no immediate negatives. But he’s doing his best (Only had <10 ciggerettes this year). 

That is great you are going to Nar-anon. I know they have lots of helpful resources to help you support him (not fix him) and still do what is best for you.

Post # 10
258 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012


it was super hard ,I wanted to give up so many times but I know leaving him would only give him an ecxuse to drink even more. I have been trying to get over that fear and its so hard but I’m getting there…in time I know ill be able to let go of that fear..just let him know you are there and you love him .support is the main thing and communicating .I wish you the best of luck and stay strong and know that you are not alone in this we have been there so if you need us..feel free to pm us:)

Post # 11
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

My Fiance, who I am marrying in May, is a high functioning alcoholic who battles with recovery everyday. It’s a work in progress.  His alcoholism presents us with A LOT of relationship challenges, but I love him and see the person who he is beyond the addiction.

He has done a rehab program, attends AA meetings, and sees a therapist who specalizes in addictions.  He has great days, good days, bad days, and AWFUL days.  He also has awful weeks.

What I have learned through the process is that there is nothing I can do to control the addiction.  As much as I beg him to stop, plead, threaten, etc, it really does nothing to persuade him otherwise.  He’s going to make his own decisions, and that’s that.  He can act selfish and inconsiderate, but he suffering from an illness which he often has little control over.

I realize people will judge me for marrying someone with an addiction.  They will think that I’m an enabler and insecure because I choose to marry someone “weaker” than me.  That’s far from the truth.  I know who my future husband is and the potential he has to fulfil.  He also knows this and is working everyday to get better.

I’m sure you felllow Bee’s understand the challenges you face as as a couple in this situation.  It’s good to know there is a network of Bee’s like me!

Post # 13
45 posts
  • Wedding: November 2011

I am the one recovering in my relationship. In the past I have had problems with any substance but I would have to say that alcohol is my drug of choice.  I have been sober for a year now.  It’s a daily struggle, one day at a time. I am so grateful to my husband for being beside me and really letting me decide what to do.  He has never given me ultimatums or told me not to drink and by coming to the decision myself I think it worked so much better for me. 

Post # 15
753 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’m a recovered addict. I was hooked on prescription narcotics for 5 years. Danny actually MET me when I was struggling with it. It hit an apex about 2 years ago where I couldn’t do anything but sit on the couch and sleep, and I ended up being outed to a dr I was seeing (for an unrelated neurological problem) and forced to get off of them.Withdrawal SUCKED, but Danny was there the whole time, wiping me down with wet towels when I had the sweats, holding me close when I had the shakes, and cleaning up after me every time I threw up. I actually still had symptoms of withdrawal 3 months after I’d taken my last pill. 

But yeah. I’m almost 2 years clean now (in June!) and we’re very strong and very happy. Any time I miss taking pills I just think of that horrid withdrawal I went through and change my mind, lol. It’ll get better! Pretty soon he’ll be right as rain. Just keep supporting him and let him know you love him and how proud of him you are! 

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