Any bride live with mother in law? Any tips?

posted 3 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
2114 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

my MIL lives with us, has for years! It’s gotten better. Especially after moving, we made it clear she has her bathro, her room and x space in garage but cannoy freely spread around her nick backs and paddy wacks. She gets upset sometimes tho, If I move an ugly photo frame or hideous fake plant from where she’s placed it, she cplains to DH, but he reminds her that the house will be organized and decorated the way I want, and that she once had her own home and now it’s my turn. It took her a while but she’s been humbled into respecting that. She’s hardly ever home, always at Church or with family and we get along fine. I’m not saying it’s without it’s problems, I have to hear her cry about her kids and grand kids and how she wishes they could come live with us (not gonna happen) also the other day I used her restroom which is actually a main restroom and noticed she had 10 toothbrushes…lol. 

 come to an agreement with your fi/DH and stick to your guns, that’s my advice. 

Post # 4
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Girl, I’m sorry to tell you, I don’t have any good stories either.  But 3800 square feet is a mansion!  (Try living in an 1,100 square foot ranch house where your MIL’s room shares a wall with you and your DH’s bedroom. Ugh.)  You mentioned there’s a ground floor suite, so it sounds like there’s the potential for *some* kind of privacy there which is rather promising.  Maybe you all can devise a way to sort of “divide” up the house so that you and your husband have your own space, and so does his mama.  Believe me, that will go a long way.

The best advice I can give is to set boundaries.  Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries.  You didn’t say much about your MIL’s personality, but it’s not just the nosey busybody types who can interfere and make you feel like you’re about to lose your mind–it’s ALL kinds.  Even if you think your MIL has her own life and her own interests, you still need to draw that line in the sand and make it clear that you and your husband are a unit and she is not to have any say in the decisions you make.  You must also make sure she understands that when you’re having a private conversation, she is not allowed to butt in.  She is not Dr. Joyce Brothers, and it is not her business.  Seriously, I know this sounds a bit heavy-handed but even if your MIL is the most well-meaning woman alive she can still surprise you.  

Oh, and the hoarder thing ain’t gonna work.  If she has to store stuff in the bathtub, it’s time to have a yard sale.


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